DOI Heft:
November 16, 1867
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16880#0213
[November 16. 18£T
202 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
SEVERE.
Elderly Equestrian. “ Good Morning, Kitty. Are you Riding without a Groom ? I should not like to do so ! ”
Kitty. “ Why not, Aunty, dear? You are quite Old enough to take Care of Yourself!”
A CONVERSATION ON HORSE.
Scene—Brown’s Dinner-table.
Brown. Smith, another slice of beef.
Smith. Thanks : meat is down a little.
Jones. It was awfully dear.
Robinson. Fancy, from eleven to thirteen-pence a pound !
Old Lady. Seems like eating money, a’most—doesn’t it.
Smith. It’s still very high.
B.obinson. Worse than venison—sometimes in more senses than one.
Old Lady (suppressing a titter). Now, go along with you.
Brown. We must get beef and mutton from South America—and
from Australia.
Jones. The antipodes to beef and mutton. [General cries of “ Oh /”
Smith. Who knows what we may come to—horse, perhaps.
Old Lady. Ugh !
Smith. They say it is very good : the French are taking to it.
Old Lady. Nasty, dirty, horrid creatures ! But there, we know that
they ’ll eat anything.
Briggs. Eh, what, then, have they left off frogs ; eh, because frogs
are scarce, and have taken to horse P
Jones. Cats’-and-dogs’-meat.
Ijadies. Shocking !
Smith. Oh, but some of our fellows have eaten it, and think it
capital. They dined the other day with a French hippophagist—ate
nothing but horse.
Brovrn. Except potatoes.
Smith. Except potatoes, which were dished in horse-oil.
Old Lady. Yah! It really makes me feel quite ill.
Briggs. Take a little drop of brandy, Ma’am.
Smith. It’s funny though, eating horse. They might both eat horse
and talk it. Fancy onp saying to the other, “ How do you like your
roast-chesnut P ”
Jones. Yes, and the conversation passing from horse-stakes to sweep-
stakes.
Robinson. And back again to saddle of horse.
Smith. There would be two ways of discussing the favourite.
Robinson. And of a horse being in for the place.
Jones. Do They make mare’s-taii soup ?
Brown. Have they any horse-veal ?
Smith. As calf is to veal, so would colt be to what ?
Robinson. We could make nothing of poulain. Perhaps we should
say foal—foal cutlets.
Jones Chump end ; kidney end of a loin of foal.
1st Young Lady. The idea !
2nd Young Lady. Perfectly disgusting !
Smith. Fillet of foal.
Jones. Fillet of filly.
Brown. Well, gentlemen, this is all very well ; but how are you to
get cheap horse. The high-mettled racer may go to the hounds dog-
cheap m his old age, but prime horseflesh would be an expensive
article. It would be cheaper to eat an ox than a horse, say, warranted
to go quiet in harness.
Smith. Yes, but the fact is that a horse past work is not therefore,
past eating. Up to a certain age he will fatten for the tabH Then
Jots of horses, disabled by accident, are young and healthy. If horse-
flesh were popular, there is one thing which alone would make it cheap.
Brown. What’s that ?
Smith. Granite road-pavement, which ruins the horses. Often in one
moment reduces a horse from a hundred guineas in value to the price
of his carcase.
Jones. For example the granite paving from the Marble Arch to the
Bank of England.
Robinson. For that and all such horse-killing pavements, thank the
Vestries.
Smith. On tbe part of all hippophagists.
Bro-wn. If there are any—who should present them with testimonials
for cheapening borse-meat.
Omnes. Hear, hear ! [Scene closes.
From the (Y)East.
The Romford ale, we are told, is in great request in India. This is
not surprising, for what fitter mart could be found for the beer of Ind
than India F
202 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
SEVERE.
Elderly Equestrian. “ Good Morning, Kitty. Are you Riding without a Groom ? I should not like to do so ! ”
Kitty. “ Why not, Aunty, dear? You are quite Old enough to take Care of Yourself!”
A CONVERSATION ON HORSE.
Scene—Brown’s Dinner-table.
Brown. Smith, another slice of beef.
Smith. Thanks : meat is down a little.
Jones. It was awfully dear.
Robinson. Fancy, from eleven to thirteen-pence a pound !
Old Lady. Seems like eating money, a’most—doesn’t it.
Smith. It’s still very high.
B.obinson. Worse than venison—sometimes in more senses than one.
Old Lady (suppressing a titter). Now, go along with you.
Brown. We must get beef and mutton from South America—and
from Australia.
Jones. The antipodes to beef and mutton. [General cries of “ Oh /”
Smith. Who knows what we may come to—horse, perhaps.
Old Lady. Ugh !
Smith. They say it is very good : the French are taking to it.
Old Lady. Nasty, dirty, horrid creatures ! But there, we know that
they ’ll eat anything.
Briggs. Eh, what, then, have they left off frogs ; eh, because frogs
are scarce, and have taken to horse P
Jones. Cats’-and-dogs’-meat.
Ijadies. Shocking !
Smith. Oh, but some of our fellows have eaten it, and think it
capital. They dined the other day with a French hippophagist—ate
nothing but horse.
Brovrn. Except potatoes.
Smith. Except potatoes, which were dished in horse-oil.
Old Lady. Yah! It really makes me feel quite ill.
Briggs. Take a little drop of brandy, Ma’am.
Smith. It’s funny though, eating horse. They might both eat horse
and talk it. Fancy onp saying to the other, “ How do you like your
roast-chesnut P ”
Jones. Yes, and the conversation passing from horse-stakes to sweep-
stakes.
Robinson. And back again to saddle of horse.
Smith. There would be two ways of discussing the favourite.
Robinson. And of a horse being in for the place.
Jones. Do They make mare’s-taii soup ?
Brown. Have they any horse-veal ?
Smith. As calf is to veal, so would colt be to what ?
Robinson. We could make nothing of poulain. Perhaps we should
say foal—foal cutlets.
Jones Chump end ; kidney end of a loin of foal.
1st Young Lady. The idea !
2nd Young Lady. Perfectly disgusting !
Smith. Fillet of foal.
Jones. Fillet of filly.
Brown. Well, gentlemen, this is all very well ; but how are you to
get cheap horse. The high-mettled racer may go to the hounds dog-
cheap m his old age, but prime horseflesh would be an expensive
article. It would be cheaper to eat an ox than a horse, say, warranted
to go quiet in harness.
Smith. Yes, but the fact is that a horse past work is not therefore,
past eating. Up to a certain age he will fatten for the tabH Then
Jots of horses, disabled by accident, are young and healthy. If horse-
flesh were popular, there is one thing which alone would make it cheap.
Brown. What’s that ?
Smith. Granite road-pavement, which ruins the horses. Often in one
moment reduces a horse from a hundred guineas in value to the price
of his carcase.
Jones. For example the granite paving from the Marble Arch to the
Bank of England.
Robinson. For that and all such horse-killing pavements, thank the
Vestries.
Smith. On tbe part of all hippophagists.
Bro-wn. If there are any—who should present them with testimonials
for cheapening borse-meat.
Omnes. Hear, hear ! [Scene closes.
From the (Y)East.
The Romford ale, we are told, is in great request in India. This is
not surprising, for what fitter mart could be found for the beer of Ind
than India F