Punch: Punch (57.1869)

178

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[November 6, 1869.

POLITICAL HOLIDAY TASKS.

rodigious gooseberries
are out of season in
the autumn, but with
the view of rilling
vacant corners in the
newspapers, other mar-
vellous phenomena are
observed by penny-a-
liners, such as this
which we have now
the luxury of quot-
ing:—

"The Chancellor of
the Exchequer is fre-
quently to be seen prac-
tising on a bicycle near
his residence in the

OCCASIONAL SONNETS.

xxiii—DINNERLES3.
[The Common Council have resolved that no entertainment whatever shall
be given in commemoration of the opening of Blackfriars Bridge and the
Holborn Viaduct on Saturday, the 6th instant.]

Swims there no turbot in the fecund seas ?
Is turtle numbered with the things that were?
Are cask and runlet drained unto the lees,
And capon, as the fabled phoenix, rare ?
No entertainment in the civic hall!
No culinary welcome in Cocagne !
No banquet at the Mansion House, or ball!
No toasts, no loving cup, and no champagne!
Now are we fallen on degenerate days
And dark with portents of a sure decline,
When Aldermen forsake their ancient ways,
And Common Councilmen neglect to dine—
country." When the great City, Bridge and Viaduct rearing,

For the benefit of Foregoes the feast, the speeches and the cheering!

news-mongers, and the xxiv.— November.

wTsuoofv aSUfewdmore The lifeless leaves are fallill? thick and fast

inr-identYrvf lilrp mo In country woodlands and suburban squares ;

mentous Lute est t°o" ^ ^ ^ exoaniioa trains and tourist fares
show how our noli- e ceasecl> au Long Vacation joys are past:

. • • i • .1 • i • i „_„„ v ' j Soon will the sky with fog be overcast,

ticians are employing their time during the recess:- What ^ the ^ ^ ^

The Lord Chancellor may frequently be seen now near his country And horse and hound pursue the timorous hares,

residence, indulging in his favourite sport of shooting sparrows from a
trap. On wet days he contents himself with the athletic indoor exer-
cise of battledore and shuttlecock.

Lord Russell, it is stated, has in spite of his advancing age, en-
rolled himself a member of the Alpine Club, and may be daily seen in
the neighbourhood of Woburn, bravely practising the art of walking up
a little hill, as a prelude to more dangerous mountaineering feats.

Lord Shaftesbury, in order to divert his mind, which has been
much disturbed by Mr. Seeley's late appointment, may be frequently

plea's^ BEAR AND BULL-BAITING IN TEE NEW WORLD.

Mr. Disraeli is engaged in the amusing occupation of compiling a J^sk, the New York market-rigger, whose wonderful fiscal perform-
new volume of Curiosities of Literature, chosen chiefly from the speeches i ances have lately held him up to the admiration of Europe, as the most
ot the party of Conservatives, whom he " educated" gradually into colossal of operators and the biggest of all bulls—a veritable Bull of
radical reformers. j Bashan,—started in life, we are told, as a circus-rider. This may help

Lord Overstone may be observed, by persons who are privileged to to account for his daring feats in the ring, and his power of keeping up
come into his presence, consulting weighty pamphlets and a light pair j his balance under difficulties. His chief agents are one Lane (who by
ot scales, with a view to the solution of the momentous question, ' this time has known a turning, under the effect of Mr. Secretary

And sportsmen face the keen hibernal blast.
In Caledonia's gay historic plaid—
Wherewith the mercers' plate-glass fronts are full—
The maidens in our thoroughfares are clad,
In silk, and poplin, and the humbler wool;
And, anxiously expected all the year,
Thy Pocket-Book, O Punch, will now appear !

: What is a Pound ?

The Lord Advocate or Scotland is employing his vacation in
practising the national athletic sport of hop-scotch.

The Home Secretary has set himself the task of framing certain
rules for the guidance of our Magistrates, whereby such trivial offences
as kicking a wife down-stairs, or stamping on her stomach, shall no
longer be visited with precisely the same punishment as is awarded to

Boutwell's timely influx of gold, which reversed the tide of battle in
favour of the sorely-baited bears against the triumphant bull-ring),
and one Jay-Gould—whose name suggests a change in the title of
the rigging triumvirate, from " the gold" to " the Gould "-ring. It is
to be hoped that the recent defeat of this respectable trio may restore
the New York money market to less feverish conditions, but we doubt
it. When yellow fever does set in, in the New World, it is deadly;

Wall Street. But how strange it is to see the sports of the bear-
bait and the bull-ring, which the Old World has put down as degrading
and brutal, revived on this gigantic scale in the New !

a pickpocket who steals a pocket-handkerchief, or a ruffian of tender and it seems this fall to have broken out with unusual severity m
years who pillers a pint pot.

Mr. Mill, having retired from the political arena, has, by way of
relaxation, lately turned his mental energies to the stupendous task of
trying to acquire some little knowledge of the game of knurr and

spell. -----'---------- - —-------------- -

Mr. Whalley, feeling that his occupation in Parliament is gone,
now that, in his opinion, Catholic Supremacy has become the law of" | HISTORICAL FACTS.

lSSgftkyspffiii^.10 a reCkl6SS °0UrSe °f dissipati0Q> aftd '^ {Being Extracts from the Celebrated Course of Colwell-Hatchney Lectures,

__' __ for the Use of Students, and all those whom Providence has blessed

with affluence)

TOO SEVERE. After writing several books to prove the contrary, I think I may

An action has been brought in New York against the meager of ™* ^ assert ttat Gunpowder was unknown to the Romans
the fair-haired troupe, headed by Miss Lydia Thompson. The plain-
tiff is a dramatic author. Two of his beautiful lines were read in court
by Mr. Edwin James. Here they be :—

Hold on! Such language ought not to be your roles ;
Arrest me, like young Fisk did Sam Bowles.

The Court—Judge Brady—was rude enough to say that "Such
language was of the poorest kind, and too bad even for ordinary bur-
lesque." The Court has evidently not been in the habit of reading
English burlesques.

"Salt is Good."

Art was not unknown to the Greeks. Apelles made a portrait so
like somebody that he was obliged to quit the city.

The celebrated poet Tasso obtained his reputation entirely by poems.
I mention this as an example of application.

What milk is to the moderns, it was, though perhaps in a less degree,
to the ancients. Cows were found in Italy as early as 6 a.m. Also in
Carthage, introduced by Ha-Milcar.

The Greeks were a Martial nation. Martial himself, however, was
a Roman.

Modern surnames are in most instances derived from Greek originals^
Jones is evidently Ion. I can't think of any more instances.

Sir Titos Salt is providing eleven acres of park for the people of The Uncle of the present Emperor or the French was not the
Saltaire. This is literally being the Salt of the Earth. Honour to a first Napoleon. There were a lot of them before him. Think over
Titus who really increases the Delight of Mankind. | this if it has never occurred to you before; and don't let it occur again.