Punch (61.1871)

November II, 1871.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

195

LETTER FROM MR. WHALLEY.

Dear Punch,

You have not infrequently ridiculed me, but
never mind that. I don't, and the electors of Peter-
borough don't.

But will you loneer deny tbat Mr. Gladstone is a
Papist ? Have you got one of the new Sovereigns, one
of the new coinage, I mean ?

He bas put a Popish Saint u[ on it, in place of the
Shield of the United Kingdom.

It is clear to me that he is a Papist and a Traitor.
If it is not clear to you, I pity you. There, you have
lived to be pitied by

Your triumphant

G. H. Whalley.

STAMPS IN LETTERS.

It seems that Post-Men, evil scamps,
Steal, because they can smell, our stamps :
Therefore, when sending them, you'd better
(A lady writes) perfume your letter :
And with the profit be content;
'Twill be a case of sent per scent.

Good Company.

Members of Parliament have been making Vacation
speeches at Shrewsbury. The occasion was the Quar-
terly Dinner of a Club in that borough, bearing the very
suggestive name of The Old Gullett Club. It was not
so stated by the public press, but we have reason for
believing that the Young Gullett Club were, at the same
time, regaling themselves with Shrewsbury cakes, and
other cates suitable for fresh and vigorous digestions.

REMINISCENCES.

Governess. " Show Mr. Smithers tour New Doll, Ada.

Another Branch of Art.

In his Greenwich speech, Mr. Gladstone introduced
the name of BhWicK,who, he said, was "a famous wood-
cutter." The Dockyard labourers would, probably, have
gone away with no very exalted notion of what Bewick's

Old Rustic. " Ah—Lor'—deary me, Mum, if it ain't the very Moral of occupation was, if the Prime Minister had _ not
my Old Woman when she was in her Prime! !" prudently added—" and also an artist of great celebrity."

AUTUMN FLOWERS OF FASHION.

One of the Fashions for November will at least combine economy
with cleanliness. Le Follet announces that " Out-of-door skirts will
be worn a trifle shorter than in the autumn." To this announce-
ment is added a remark which indicates an expanding germ of
reflection:—

" "We have the snow and the mud te guard against, and nothing is more
inconvenient than a dress which requires holding up for walking wear."

The foregoing observation enunciates a discovery at which the
female mind has arrived at last, after considerable experience. It
is one whose practical importance would have rendered it a compara-
tively valuable contribution on the part of any strong-minded lady
to the amount of useful knowledge lately exhibited before the Social
Science Congress.

Descending from the pinnacle of intellect whence it contemplated
short dresses, Le Follet drops to an alarming discourse of bonnets:—

" Bonnets are, as were promised, decidedly a trifle larger ; but they are still
worn so very high and thoroughly on the top of the hair as to present almost
the appearance of a helmet—in fact the hats are much quieter looking."

Quieter ? We should think so, when the bonnets present almost
the appearance of a helmet! Why, in that case, the wearer must
present almost the appearance of Bellona, Goddess of War, or Tha-
lestris, Queen of the Amazons. Call you that quiet ? Even Minerva,
in her helmet, could hardly have looked quiet. To adopt the style
of Minerva, by the way, the wearer of the helmet-bonnet would,
of course, have it surmounted with a stuffed screech-owl; a fashion-
able ornament, and the emblem of wisdom.

Name after Nature.

The morrow of All Souls, alias the first of November, alias the
legal New Year's Day, is known in the Profession as Crastino ani-
marum. Considering the law's delay, shouldn't it be re-christened
V Pro-crastino f "

A PRETTY IDEA.

The Morning Post is a paper not likely to let itself be hoaxed in
any particular concerning the fashions. Otherwise, one would say
that the following announcement requires confirmation :—

"The New Bonnet inTaris.—The fashionable bonnet for ladies in Paris
this winter is called ' Paris-Brftle.' It is of velvet, ornamented with flowers
or feathers, and having on it a considerable amount of scarlet, to imitate
flames."

But, after all, the taste of calling a bonnet " Paris-Brule" is
much the same as that of denominating a dress-colour " Magenta,"
or applying the similar name of some sanguinary battle-field to a
quadrille or a waltz. Monkeys, if they could invent dresses and
dances, and were endowed with speech, would doubtless call them
by the same kind of names ; regarding scenes of carnage and con-
flagration with interest unmodified by moral feeling and reflective
intellect. Certain partial cleverness is associated with deficiency of
higher faculties in many human beings whose mental development
has been arrested ; and probably the design and nomenclature of the
fashions, suitably to the ideas of their lightsome followers, would
form pursuits whose cultivation would constitute eligible employ-
ment for the inmates of Earlswood and other such Asylums.

Official Triumph.

The Peninsular and Oriental steamer, Rangoon, has been lost on
a rock. All hands saved. The Admiralty was, of course, illumi-
nated on the night of the arrival of the news. It proved, triumph-
antly, that it is in the nature of ships to be lost, and that the
Admiralty, in making a practice of losing them, is but conforming
to natural laws.

Table-rapping."—After a Public Dinner.