Punch (62.1872)

146 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [April 6, 1872.

PLEASANT SUGGESTION.

" I'm not a bit Hurt, Papa, dear ! And, if you'll just take Hold of that Hind Leg, I shall get Round him !"

THE TWO THUNDERERS.

Now, Mercury, -what news from Earth, below? "
Said Jupiter. Him answered Hermes, " 0
King of the gods and men, these papers say
A Ship was launched at Pembroke last Moon's day,
A Ship of War, and, thy celestial right
How mortal men usurp ! the Thunderer hight;
A Turret-ship, and she will carry guns,

ALL PAY AND NO WORK.

The good old times seem not to be so remote as we have been in
the habit of regarding them—indeed, they, may be said not yet to
have come to an end. Pickings and perquisites are still to be had
without much trouble or exertion, and imaginary services, or rather
services which have not even existed in intention, do not go unre-
warded.

A Treasury Minute has been issued regulating the future remu-
neration of the Law Officers of the Crown; and it is comforting to those

No less than four, of five-and-thirty tons." Deration 01 toe uw umcers pi tne orown; anahis comiorung 10 ™,

„ tt , ,, / of us who are under the vulgar necessity of doing something ior tne

" Hey, what! " exclaimed the Monarch of the Skies,
And, staring, wide as saucers oped his eyes ;
How many ? Thirty-five tons saidst thou, eh ?
I wonder what the bolts they hurl may weigh;
That Thunderer'1 s thunderbolts, for all this throne
And sceptre, must be monsters to my own.
None such could'st thou forge, Vulcan, or I fling.
This is a most insufferable thing !
By Styx! By Jove—myself that is—I swear,
There 's nought those British mortals will not dare !
As for Salmoneus and his rumbling brass,
He only mocked my thunder—they surpass."
So said, he nodded ; his ambrosial locks
Shook out, and shaking gave Olympus shocks,
Which Ocean's breast in ripples threw afar—
He then for nectar called, and a cigar.

Seasonable Compliments.

money we earn to find from it, that amongst other desirable reforms,
it has been resolved that " All complimentary briefs and payments
for services not intended to be given shall be abolished." Lucky
lawyers, to have been paid for services which there was not even the
intention to render I Unlucky people, out of whose pockets these
payments have come for a good many years past! A question
suggests itself—Are these the only '' payments for services not
intended to be given " which called for abolition ? Are they the last
and worst of such venerable abuses P This is an inquiry with which
Sir Chaeles Dilke might fairly charge himself.

An Act of Authority.

The Pope, when visited by our Heir Apparent, in the course of
the pleasant chat that then took place between these two rival
defenders of the Faith—one present, the other future—congratu-
lated H.R.H. on the religious spirit of the English people. Punch,
in turn, congratulates the Italians, who after all that has been said
against them, have so interested the world, and confounded their
detractors by turning out Pius.

The Speranzo of Madrid, according to the Osservatore Romano,
according to the Post, says that His Holiness the Pope having been
requested by the Duchess op Madrid to contribute to a lottery
which she is getting up for the benefit of the poor Carlists of Spain,
has sent a magnificent cameo. Now, then, who will say that lotteries
are immoral, and insult the belief of his Catholic fellow-subjects ?

A Bright Idea.

Why should such a fuss be made about " a free breakfast-table,"
as if the first meal were the only one that contributed to help Mr.
Lowe to a surplus ? If it were so, then the French proverb might
be thus amended :—" Ce n'est que le premier re-pas qui coute."