Punch (63.1872)

September H, 1872.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 105

RIOTS AND RESPONSIBILITY.

Inculcating the " Lessou of the Belfast Riots," the
Pall Mall Gazette points out, for the instruction of
those whom it concerns, that : —

" What was wanted in Belfast was a man at the head of

LUCUS A NON," &c.

Visitor. " How long has your Master been away?"

Irish Footman. " Well, Sorr, if he'd come Home yistherdav, he'd a' been
gone a Wake to-mobrow ; but ev he doesn't return the Day aftheb,

shure he'll a' been away a fortnight next THOBSDAY. " ! !

affairs who would make the immediate restoration of order his
first business, and would shrink from no means that might be
necessary to effect it—a man who, if the police proved insuffi-
cient for his purpose, would use soldiers, and if soldiers proved
insufficient, would clear the streets by artillery."

Those whom this teaching concerns are the Government
and Legislature ; whom the Pall Mall proceeds further
to instruct that no man can be expected to put down
a riot at the risk of being tried for murder by a hostile
j ury ; and suggests '' the creation for the time of a civil
authority who should have full powers to employ what
ever means he thinks best for the restoration of order."
Pending the acceptance of this suggestion, how are
insurrections to be quelled ? England, or Ireland, may
expect a Magistrate to do his duty to his country; but
if that exposes him to a prosecution, he will see his
country blanked first. Nobody but a strangely senti-
mental person, with a taste for self-sacrifice, would risk
martyrdom or even confessorship, by risking his neck,
or risking his liberty, except an extremely religious
enthusiast who firmly believed that he would be rewarded
for it eternally hereafter. The Belfast Biots have
shown us what we have got, and what we are likely to
get, by omission to enter a nolle prosequi in the case of
Governor Eyre.

Advice to Trades' Unionists.

"VVoKELNG-Men of every section,
Strike for higher wages, do,

'Gainst Eree Trade and for Protection.
0 how wise and good of you!

Strike as brethren should, my brothers,
Strike with all your might and main.

Strike each one against the others,
To the end of general gain.

Strike because of rising prices ;

Thus make all things still more dear.
So go on. This good advice is.

You '11 adopt it, there's no fear.

A minute in the day unmolested by an organ-grinder.
WONDERS OE THE SEA-SIDE. A window-blind which you can manage to pull up, even to the

VwrialUj in Tnrlninn* verF toP' without a wrinkle, and then not find it come down with a

especially m eoagings. rattle oQ yQur head>

A carving-kniee that is not shaky in the handle, and which, on j A bed-room paper which you can contemplate without horror every
great persuasion, can be induced to cut. ; morning when you wake, nor conceive how fraught with suffering it

A silver fork, on which the previous metal is still extant, and ' would be to'you, if lying ill.
which has its proper complement of prongs. A waiting-maid who looks as if she sometimes used a nail-brush.

A chamber candlestick supplied with an extinguisher. A ceiling or a chimney ornament which are neither of them

A ditto looking-glass, which, if not propped up with your hair- cracked,
brush, never turns its back upon you when you go to shave. A pen with both nibs perfect, and a writing-table not too rickety

A bath which does not leak, and a water-jug that is not very to write at.
dangerous to lift. A sofa at all softer than a hard deal board, and which has not its

A leg of mutton, upon which, after dining with your husband, springs fractured exactly at the only place whereon you want to sit.
you can find next morning enough left to be hashed. A picture or engraving, hung up by way of ornament, which with

A (very) grand piano, whereof the keys don't rattle like the bones any candour you could call a work of art.
of nigger minstrelsy, and whereof you can imagine, by a powerful A pot which makes your coffee at all clearer than pea-soup,
flight of fancy, that the notes have in their infancy, been ever heard A pair of decanters which are not an odd couple, and half a score
in tune. of wine glasses, any two of which will match.

A chiffonnier that you can lock securely, and a tea-caddy that A door which does not let a hurricane of draught through it, and
really seems to be without a leak. j which you can actually shut without a slam._

A door-mat which is not provided with a hole to trip up all your And finally, a bed that you may go to without trembling, and a

visitors when they come to call

A table-cloth or napkin without eleven holes in it.

A window that has not at the least one sashline broken, and that
does not vibrate noisily with the very slightest breeze.

An easy-chair which gives you any ease when sitting in it, and
wherein you may take your usual after-dinner nap without an
apprehension of a castor coming off.

A tea-pot, out of which, with excessive care and patience, you
can contrive to pour a cupful without dropping the lid into it.

A sitting-room wherein, to avoid smoke-suffocation, you need not
keep both door and window open when you fight the fire.

A chest of drawers that is complete in all its handles, and a
vegetable-dish cover provided with a knob.

bill that you may pay without a fear of being fleeced.

Ritualistic Rebellion.

It cannot be any Archdeacon of the Established Church who is
such an obstinate Ritualist as, by persisting in the performance of
illicit Romanesque ceremonials, to constitute himself a rebel against
his Bishop. Let such rebellious folly, therefore, never be imputed
to Archdeacon Denison. If it could, many people would not hesi-
tate to style him Archdeacon Donkey. But that would be writing
an estimable but pigheaded clergyman down an Ass. It were more
respectful to name the Ritualist Rebel— Anarchdeacon Denison.

Vol. C3.

4-2