Punch (65.1873)

104

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[September 13, 1873.

CATCHING A LITTLE TARTAR.

“So you don’t care about Donkey-Riding, Missy. And why?"

“ 0, /’ve got a Pony, and one doesn’t care about Donkeys after that, you know!”

“ Has a Pony got more Legs than a Donkey, then ?”

Missy [who doesn't like to be chaffed). “ Yes ; exactly Twice as many as some Donkeys that I know of ! ”

BETTER OEE THAN USUAL.

Now Members review a past Session,

If barren, which might have been worse;

Imposed more restraint and repression
On Person; exactions on Purse.

We need not be much discontented.

The Houses of late, each Recess

Recurring, with burdens augmented
Have left us, and liberties less.

But this time, for once, of few measures,

If any, we have to complain,

Designed to diminish our pleasures,

Or curb us with bridle and rein.

There ’s always this great compensation
For Parliament’s vacuous jaws ;

A Session of no legislation
Afflicts us with no needless laws.

Our Rulers of no more have reft us;

Given small cause to bless them or ban.

The Session but little has left us
Unhappier than when it began.

For us the Recess a release is
From all that a Briton annoys ;

Save ill-luck, expense which increases,

And what Progress daily destroys.

Motto for the Members of the New York Gold Ring.—
“ Cusses not loud, but deep.”

OUR BLACK-DIAMOND DIGGERS.

From a story told in the Newcastle Chronicle, it appears that pit-
men are really accustomed to travel in first-class carriages. Yery
soon, no doubt a pitman will be able to keep his own carriage, unless
he drinks a vast deal too much first-quality champagne, Chateau
d’Yquem, and other extremely expensive wines. The craft of the
pitman, heretofore a mere handicraft, is rising into an art, a scien-
tific art like surgery ; and the extraction of coals from the bowels
of the earth will soon be on a par, both as to dignity and remunera-
tion, with those operations by which the human frame is relieved of
morbid formations and foreign bodies. The picks and other imple-
ments used in extracting coal will come to be made of the finest
tempered steel, some of them perhaps of silver. Pitmen’s wages
will cease to be so called ; they will take the name of fees; and
young gentlemen, wishing to follow an employment which will occupy
but a small portion of their time in its pursuit, be rewarded with
high emolument, and not have its portals obstructed by any exami-
nation, will enter the Pit rather than the Medical, or any other
Profession. In the meanwhile, who but a miUionnaire will be able
to afford a fire F

Benedicto Benedicatur.

“ Bless you, my children! ” said His Holiness the Pope, through
the eloquent mouth of his servant the Archbishop, to the Pilgrims
ere they started on their progress from our shores. These progres-
sionists, we may presume, were all of them true Catholics, and we
may doubt if any Protestant who chanced to come among them
would have received the Holy Father’s benediction with the rest.
Yet it is said that Mr. Punch, whom no one will accuse of Catholic
roelivities, was heard before the Pilgrims left us to allege that, if
e joined them, he would certainly “ be blest.”