DOI issue:
December 5, 1874
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16939#0249
SOUTH' WESTEKM RAILWAY STATIONS
ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS RCGE NTS PARK
CAIViOLN TOWN SWAN INN OLD Kl i
Seal tells the Legal Department Commissioners that he never has
more than a -week’s holiday in the year. The Times remarks that
a large amount of work seems to be got out of the Great Seal. It
appears that the Great Seal rather takes a great deal of work out
of his Porter.
THE TROUBLESOME TRIO.
{A Seasonable Entertainment.)
Enter Monsignor Capel, meeting Loud Camoys, Mu. Petre, and
Me. Shee.
Monsignor. Ah! you three Gentlemen! coming from Rome! How
far have you got on your road F
Lord Camoys. 0, a long way! We’ve reached Acton.
Monsignor. Ah! in that direction! Acton—if you ’ll pardon my
omitting the aspirate—is past ’ealing; and not very far from
Hanwefl.
Mr. Petre. But I protest-
Monsignor. Of course you do: en effet you are a Protestant.
Excuse the yeu de mot. but the only thing Catholic about you is
your present tone, which I should call the bark of Petke.
Mr. Shee. This is not a matter-
Monsignor. To be. treated lightly? Certainly not. There never
was any mischief without a woman being at the bottom of it, so I
am not surprised to see a Shee come forward in this matter. Fare-
well, Gentlemen! Ite ad astra—you can imagine what I mean.
[Exit Monsignor on his road to Pome. Exeunt the Trouble-
some Trio, on their roads—whither f
h aw Definition.—“ Pot-wallopers.” Drunkards who thrash
their Wives.
THE WISE MEN OF THE NORTH.
The following report of the Barony Parochial Board appeared
in the Glasgow Herald of November 24th:—
“A discussion took place as to whether the new Chaplain should be pro-
vided with the usual clerical pulpit vestments.
“Mb. IJougall objected, on the ground that the vestments were just
Popish garments, and nothing else.
“ Mb. Marshall was astonished to hear such sentiments.
“ Mr. Russell thought the garments would be required by the Chaplain
to keep him warm, as there was a great draught in the place ; and it should
be also recollected that a great smell came from the kitchen. {laughter.)”
Mr. Punch hopes that after the close reasoning displayed in the
speech of Mb. Russell, which is reported above, tbat very clever
gentleman will consent to publish a new Handbook of Recipes. To
encourage Mb. Russell to commence this task, Mr. Punch has
much pleasure in presenting him with a few specimens of the sort
of Recipes that the Public would be sure to expect at Ms hands.
How to Play on the Piano.—Wear an Ulster coat and go out for
a ride.
How to Order a Good Dinner.—Get a nice young Lady for a
partner, and make up a set for the Lancers.
How to Cure a Smoky Chimney.—Play a game of Whist with
your Wife, the Yicar, and the Doctor.
How to Pemember your Umbrella.—Purchase a small toy for your
godson, and send it to him anonymously from the toy-shop.
How to Make a Lobster Salad.—Play a tune on the nute and
subscribe to Mudee’s Circulating Library. . _ ,
But there, the list might be extended ad infinitum. Mr. Punch j
feels sure that the proposed work would receive a hearty welcome
in Ireland. _
Old Grumpy’s Definition.—Perpetual Motion—a Lady’s Tongue.
242
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 5, 1874.
PRECISE.
Driver {impatient). “ Now, Bill, what’s it all about*”
Conductor. “ Ge’tleman wants to be put down at No. 20 A in Claringdon Squake, fust Portico on the Right after you
pass the * Red Lion,’ private Entrance bound the Corner !”
Driver. “ O, certainly ! Ask the Ge’tleman if we shall Drive Up-stairs, an’ set ’im down at ’is Bed-Room Door in
the Three-Pair Back ? ”
ZOOLOGICAL GARDENS RCGE NTS PARK
CAIViOLN TOWN SWAN INN OLD Kl i
Seal tells the Legal Department Commissioners that he never has
more than a -week’s holiday in the year. The Times remarks that
a large amount of work seems to be got out of the Great Seal. It
appears that the Great Seal rather takes a great deal of work out
of his Porter.
THE TROUBLESOME TRIO.
{A Seasonable Entertainment.)
Enter Monsignor Capel, meeting Loud Camoys, Mu. Petre, and
Me. Shee.
Monsignor. Ah! you three Gentlemen! coming from Rome! How
far have you got on your road F
Lord Camoys. 0, a long way! We’ve reached Acton.
Monsignor. Ah! in that direction! Acton—if you ’ll pardon my
omitting the aspirate—is past ’ealing; and not very far from
Hanwefl.
Mr. Petre. But I protest-
Monsignor. Of course you do: en effet you are a Protestant.
Excuse the yeu de mot. but the only thing Catholic about you is
your present tone, which I should call the bark of Petke.
Mr. Shee. This is not a matter-
Monsignor. To be. treated lightly? Certainly not. There never
was any mischief without a woman being at the bottom of it, so I
am not surprised to see a Shee come forward in this matter. Fare-
well, Gentlemen! Ite ad astra—you can imagine what I mean.
[Exit Monsignor on his road to Pome. Exeunt the Trouble-
some Trio, on their roads—whither f
h aw Definition.—“ Pot-wallopers.” Drunkards who thrash
their Wives.
THE WISE MEN OF THE NORTH.
The following report of the Barony Parochial Board appeared
in the Glasgow Herald of November 24th:—
“A discussion took place as to whether the new Chaplain should be pro-
vided with the usual clerical pulpit vestments.
“Mb. IJougall objected, on the ground that the vestments were just
Popish garments, and nothing else.
“ Mb. Marshall was astonished to hear such sentiments.
“ Mr. Russell thought the garments would be required by the Chaplain
to keep him warm, as there was a great draught in the place ; and it should
be also recollected that a great smell came from the kitchen. {laughter.)”
Mr. Punch hopes that after the close reasoning displayed in the
speech of Mb. Russell, which is reported above, tbat very clever
gentleman will consent to publish a new Handbook of Recipes. To
encourage Mb. Russell to commence this task, Mr. Punch has
much pleasure in presenting him with a few specimens of the sort
of Recipes that the Public would be sure to expect at Ms hands.
How to Play on the Piano.—Wear an Ulster coat and go out for
a ride.
How to Order a Good Dinner.—Get a nice young Lady for a
partner, and make up a set for the Lancers.
How to Cure a Smoky Chimney.—Play a game of Whist with
your Wife, the Yicar, and the Doctor.
How to Pemember your Umbrella.—Purchase a small toy for your
godson, and send it to him anonymously from the toy-shop.
How to Make a Lobster Salad.—Play a tune on the nute and
subscribe to Mudee’s Circulating Library. . _ ,
But there, the list might be extended ad infinitum. Mr. Punch j
feels sure that the proposed work would receive a hearty welcome
in Ireland. _
Old Grumpy’s Definition.—Perpetual Motion—a Lady’s Tongue.
242
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[December 5, 1874.
PRECISE.
Driver {impatient). “ Now, Bill, what’s it all about*”
Conductor. “ Ge’tleman wants to be put down at No. 20 A in Claringdon Squake, fust Portico on the Right after you
pass the * Red Lion,’ private Entrance bound the Corner !”
Driver. “ O, certainly ! Ask the Ge’tleman if we shall Drive Up-stairs, an’ set ’im down at ’is Bed-Room Door in
the Three-Pair Back ? ”