Punch: Punch (70.1876)

February 26, 1876.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 67

"I'11 do ditto," says Friz, who lias seen four grey dray-horses
pass, and feels he must win.

Chestnuts, browns, and a bay, and ninthly a General Omnibus
with two whites to the fore.

Hugh pockets his hundred, and they retire to the card-room,
where they remain, with an interval for dinner, till four o'clock the
next morning-. Gerald has lost a couple of thou., which he hasn't
got; and Fitz has recouped himself with an agreeable surplus, of
which we hope a few sovereigns will find their way into the pockets
of Hodge, Pat, and Bill.

In the Drawing-room and Kitchen next door may be noticed by
any Asmodeus like ourselves another and equally edifying contrast.

Down-stairs a very snuffy old woman, with a walnut-juice resem-
blance to a gipsy, is promising, with the aid of a greasy pack of torn
cards and a sediment of tea-leaves, all sorts of honours, titles, and
fortune to poor little Mast Anne Housemaid, for the large sum of
one silver sixpence and a pound or two of kitchen stuff. While
Mart Anne is gazing with credulous delight on the propitious Sibyl,
a Paternal agent steps down through the area-gate, which is wide
open, and kindly offers an arm of escort to the snuffy pseudo-gipsy,
for whom lodgings have been prepared in Queer Street.

In the Drawing-room above sits Mrs. Reginald Coleve.il, with
six or eight friends, who have invited the celebrated American
Medium, Jabez M. Postor, to join their circle, in hopes of eliciting
revelations of the Future from such condescending spirits as may
happen to listen to their call. The shutters are closed, the little
fingers of the Illuminati are linked round a large table, on which a
tambourine is already beginning to tap out the names of the return-
ing ghosts and the destinies of the inquirers. This masculine
Sibyl has nothing snuffy about him, wears a faultless evening dress,
and several diamonds on his fingers. It would be downright rude-
ness and want of savoir-vivre if the Paternal Governor interfered
with him—but at the same time we confess to a weak pity for the
gipsy, and a strong desire to let off Pat and Hodge aforesaid.

To the Government we simply repeat—"Why this Thusness ?

RINKOMANIA.

, , ^ E believe we break no
'\' \ V / confidence in publishing
1 \h news that the atten-

\ y y tion of Parliament will
I shortly be called to the

%*- prevalent epidemic, and a

V;, Royal Commission, in all

probability, appointed to
W^V' inquire into the causes
yYP which have led to the
^ mania for Pinking, to

consider the effects it
\ is producing on society,

O and to report if any, and

* what steps may be ad-

visable to check its rapid
progress. How exten-
sively the mania is spread-
ing on all sides may be
gathered from a glance at
the columns of advertise-
5= - ments, which, besides in-
ESE; viting notice to the rinks

£r=^=s=r^^^;^^L^^^^===r~--- already started, announce
^^z^^^^^^^^^^^^^:^ a myriad of new skating
-— -=^^1^^^^=^=-^ clubs in progress, or in

prospect. That the mania
has extended from the
West End to the East, from Hammersmith to Houndsditch, and
from the lordly Prince's Ground to the vulgar Pig and Tinderbox,
may be seen by a few titles of the companies projected, which we
are exclusively now privileged to quote :—

The Mile-End and Whitechapel Rink, and Wheel-Skate Letting
Company. Capital, Two Millions. Treasurer {pro tern.), Mr. Jere-
miah Diddler.

The Costermongers' Skating-Rink, and General Conversation Club.
Chairman of Executive Committee, Mr. Bawler.

The Holloway-cum-Hornsey Rise and Hackney Prinking Company
(Very) Limited.

The United Handsome Cabmen's Rink, promoted to provide a
means of healthful indoor exercise for Cabmen.

The Wapping Old Stairs Rink and Below Bridge Skating Company.
The Land's-End Real Ice Rink. Executive Committee. Messieurs
Blunderhead and Boobie, with power (if they can) to add to their
number.

The Eligible Spinsters' Rink. Established to promote flirtation

among Marriageable Persons. Chairwoman of Committee, Miss
Selena Slypuss.

The Organgrinders' Skating Club, and Asphalte Recreation Com-
pany, for the use and entertainment of itinerant musicians. N.B. A
Concert on wheels will be given every evening, when the public will
(on payment) be privileged to attend.

The John O'Groat's House Rink. Open to all Nations. Sandie
McSawnie, Honorary Secretary.

The Jolly Beggars' Skating Rink, and Club for Merry Mendi-
cants. Temporary premises, Rag and Tatter Alley, Scamp Street.

The _ Water Bibbers' Rink, and Tee-Totallers upon Wheels
Aquarium and Convivial Club. President, Sir Wilerid Lawson.

The Swindleham Skating Company (Limited). Promoters, Cap-
tain Flashman and Sir Hokem Snivey. Present population, 1229 ;
anticipated Rinkers, 1220. Capital, £50,000, in Shares of £10 each.
Prepayment in full to be made on application.

The Seven Dials Skating Rink ; for the promotion of this fashion-
able and invigorating pastime among the poorer classes. Chairman
of Executive Committee, Mr. Catsmeat.

The Slushborousdi-cum-Sloppiton Al Fresco Pinking Company.
Secretary, Mr. Damper. President of Council, Sir Timothy
Goloshes.

The Amalgamated Duffers' Rink and Slide and Tumble Company.
Manager, Mr. Clumsie. Treasurer, Mr. Foolscapp.

The Burglars' Skating Rink. President of Committee, Mr. Wil-
liam Sikes. Bankers, Messrs. Downibird and Hookttt. Members
for election to attend (after nightfall) at the Office of the Company,
which for i»raclential reasons need not publicly be advertised.
N.B.—Ring the top bell twice, and sharply whistle.

The North Pole Rinking Company. Promoted with a view of
providing wheel skates gratis in the Polar Regions.

The Submarine Skating Rink. Temporary Offices in Water Lane.
Chairman of Committee, Mr. Diver.

SANSCULOTTES AT LIMERICK.

It is not often that an Irishman can be twitted with what other
Irishmen might call Scotch economy. But the Cork Examiner
reports a suggestion on the part of certain members of the Corpora-
tion of Limerick, not only in respect of caution and economy, but
also as relative to a matter of clothing, specially Caledonian. At a
late meeting of one of the Limerick Corporation Committees, the
Mayor presiding, Mr. Connolly, of the firm of John Connolly and
Son, the municipal tailors, attended to submit for acceptance the
new clothing which had been ordered for the Night Watchmen;
when

"Alderman Cleary said he heard a member alongside observe on the
impropriety of supplying Watchmen with trousers; for, if they dismissed a
Watchman, the question arose how would they get the trousers off him if he
would not give it up himself?

" Mr. Bernal said he was the member alluded to by Alderman Cleary,
and he would advise them to adopt the suggestion which Alderman Tinsley
made some time ago, or by supplying the Watchmen with a hat, coat, and
cape. The Watchmen should be obliged to pay sixpence a week for the
trousers."

"It's ill takin' the breeks aff a Highlandman." This Trans-
Tweedian adage might, had the colleagues of the two gentlemen
abovenamcd adopted their ideas, have become as apx>licable to the
Night Watchmen of Limerick as it is to the Gael. The Watch
would perhaps have had to be reconstituted, and the Corporation to
advertise for recruits, notifying, although in Ireland, that "No
Irish need apply." The suits of Limerick's Night Watchmen would
then have suited none but Scotchmen. A uniform consisting of a
hat, coat, and cape, and no trousers, would for its complement have
really required a kilt. The expedient wherewith Brian O'Lynn
supplied any deficiency in his wardrobe is no longer practicable.
Sheepskins are too costly for that now. As a lay of a Limerick
Night Watchman, Brian O'Lynn would have needed to be sung
with a difference, somewhat after this fashion:—■

" Brian O'Lynn, wanting trousers to wear,

Joined the Limerick Night Watch in hopes of a pair ;
Which when he found out he would not be found in,
' 'Twill be mighty cool walkin',' says Brian O'Lynn."

The " songs of other days" included one in which a, pretty picture
was presented to the mind's eye by a couplet in glorification of—

" Paddywhack, just come from Cork,

With his coat nately buttoned behind him."

An elegant addition to this array, in a Hibernian sense, might
have been beheld at Limerick exhibited by Paddywhack patrolling
the streets at night in the dark without any trousers. Perhaps,
however, the streets of Limerick are lighted after dark—by lumi-
naries even brighter than Alderman Cleary and Mr. Bernal.