DOI issue:
January 12, 1878
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17732#0009
January 12, 1878,] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 5
produced Diplomacy; or, Miss Dora's Mousetrap (unless any-
other change in the title be effected in the interim), written by
the two Rowes. Capital collaboration between two Rowes ! The
hard Rowe and the soft Rows. Hard Rowe insisting on every line
being spoken as written; soft Rowe smoothing it all down, and
getting' the piece played as both Authors want it. Success to the
two Rowes ! This is only their nom deplume, but the Rowes by any
name will always be acceptable. Your Hay, Gentlemen, is produced
on the night of the 12th; soon that "Twelfth Night" may the
play be " what you will" and everything you wish. Receive (this
to my Editor), Sir, the expression of the highest consideration from,
Your Representative.
DOUBTFUL.
of John Knox was Cardinal Beatoun, and that his end was being first
hanged, and then pickled and preserved in a vault in the Castle at
St. Andrews, it is hardly to be wondered at that Papal Prelates
should pause before adventuring onpartes infidelium whose infideles
manifest their infidelity in this disagreeable fashion.
We notice an omen too in the names of the present heads of the
Scotch Papal Hierarchy such as it is.,—Drs. Eyre and Strain of
St. Andrews.
It is obvious that a very little strain in the direction' of Rome,
with a race so perfervidly Protestant as the Scotch, may awaken a
great deal of ire. Perhaps, on the -whole, the Pope, before he makes
his new Scotch arrangements, would do well to consider whether le
Scot vaut la chandelle of Holy Church, which His Infallibility is
thinking of again setting up in that stubborn and rebellious soil.
A GOOD FRENCH LESSON.
Describing- the success of a new play at the Gymnase, a Paris
Correspondent calls attention to a fact which he most properly con-
siders to be worthy of report:—
" It is to be noticed that in the ball-room scene several charming actresses
appear and dance who have not a word to utter. The names are printed in
the bills, but the personages are mute. How many theatres are there in
London where well-known comedians could be induced to appear as guests, in
a single scene, in order that the success of a piece should not be imperilled by
ill-dressed supers ?"
There still are certain matters which are managed not so well in
England as in France, and the matter of stage management may be
fairly classed as one of them. Attention to small details is fre-
quently a great thing in getting up a piece, and frequently these
little points are largely overlooked, if not utterly lost sight of. On
the English stage a ball-room scene would be a sorry spectacle, nor
would the presence of "well-known Comedians" materially en-
liven it. One may, indeed, imagine how Mr. Toole might be
applauded for dancing a quadrille, and what mirth he might elicit
by his comical contortions while drawing on his gloves (which, of
course, would be too big for him), or when entangling his legs help-
lessly with his partner's long silk skirt. But one must cross the
Channel to see a ball-room scene put fitly on the stage, where the
guests are not grotesque in costume or appearance, and the dancing
is of such sort as is seen in modern drawing-rooms, and does not
degrade a comedy into a burlesque. Let Mr. Hare, the Manager of
the Court Theatre, take the opportunity of Victims, in which one Act
passes at an aesthetic soiree, to set a better example. He has pre-
pared the way to a change for the better in this respect by all he has
done already in the way of stage-mounting and arrangement.
THE SOCIETY FOR THE ABOLITION OF CAKES
AND ALE.
Fired doubtless by the example of the raid upon Christmas Cards
in the newspapers, tand determined to better the instruction, the
writers of the following genial letters have sent Mr. Punch their
" seasonable " communications for publication.
Mr. Punch, Lower Tooting.
Were you not a man, I might possibly respect you. But,
as I hate the whole of your sex, I can but regard you with feelings
of loathing and contempt. Still, I am more likely, perhaps, to receive
justice at your hands than at the hands of any of your brothers, I
write to protest against the sending of Valentines. The men who send
them are impudent puppies, and the women forward minxes. I have
no patience with either ! I never received but one Valentine myself,
and that was of an insulting character—suggesting that I was over
forty, when even now I am barely thirty three. I sent it to my
Solicitor. That was more than ten years ago, and he has not yet
discovered the libeller. If he had, I would have taught the
creature the penalty of propagating libellous lies, even under the
vulgar disguise of a Valentine.
Yours indignantly,
Virginia Veejuice.
g No. 3 Staircase, Mould's Inn.
I hearttly approve of the excellent letters in the news-
papers on the extravagant folly of Christmas Cards, which has now
reached such a disgusting pitch. It is said that these idiotic effusions
please the children, but what right, I ask, have the children to be
pleased at the expense of their elders ? 1 hate children. They are
nuisances and grievances, which every year become more expensive
to those who are unlucky enough to be saddled with them, and
even more annoying to those who have escaped the infliction.
And now, Sir, I wish to raise my voice against another abuse. I
would ask, why should children's birthdays be kept ? Why should
these little nuisances have toys and treats showered upon them in
celebration of events which from any rational point of view can only
be described as lamentable ?
The practice has increased, is'increasing, and ought to be diminished
—nay, Sir, it ought to be discontinued altogether. From causes beyond
my own control, I am a frequent visitor at a house where children
abound. The cook and the cellar are a set-off against the nursery-
plagues. Whenever I am at this house one child or another is sure to
be having a birthday, and I am expected to give this child a present
under the penalty of being considered a mean old brute. Put the
thing down, Sir, put it down ! It is an imposition, Sir, a scandal, a
levy of blackmail on those whom Providence and Prudence together
have saved from this class of inflictions !
Amongst whom I thankfully sign myself, Yours,
sowerbv. G rumpus.
c The Hole, ten miles from Merton,
blR,
I don't very often get hold of a paper, because I take good
care to live as far as I can from my fellow-creatures. For many
years I have been convinced that most things in life are bad, and the
remainder worse. The attack upon Christmas Cards is about the
most sensible move that has attracted my notice for the last quarter
of a century. But why not go further and do away with the other an-
noyances of the festive (!) season, such as bells, waits, holly,mistletoe,
charitable appeals, roast turkeys, plum-pudding, mince-pies, "good
wishes," and all the rest of the Christmas tomfoolery ? I throw out
the suggestion for what it is worth, and sign myself without any
disguise, Kerr Mudgeon.
n.b.
" Our Winter Exhibition" to be "continued in our next." A
few more sketches yet remaining to be shown to the public.
produced Diplomacy; or, Miss Dora's Mousetrap (unless any-
other change in the title be effected in the interim), written by
the two Rowes. Capital collaboration between two Rowes ! The
hard Rowe and the soft Rows. Hard Rowe insisting on every line
being spoken as written; soft Rowe smoothing it all down, and
getting' the piece played as both Authors want it. Success to the
two Rowes ! This is only their nom deplume, but the Rowes by any
name will always be acceptable. Your Hay, Gentlemen, is produced
on the night of the 12th; soon that "Twelfth Night" may the
play be " what you will" and everything you wish. Receive (this
to my Editor), Sir, the expression of the highest consideration from,
Your Representative.
DOUBTFUL.
of John Knox was Cardinal Beatoun, and that his end was being first
hanged, and then pickled and preserved in a vault in the Castle at
St. Andrews, it is hardly to be wondered at that Papal Prelates
should pause before adventuring onpartes infidelium whose infideles
manifest their infidelity in this disagreeable fashion.
We notice an omen too in the names of the present heads of the
Scotch Papal Hierarchy such as it is.,—Drs. Eyre and Strain of
St. Andrews.
It is obvious that a very little strain in the direction' of Rome,
with a race so perfervidly Protestant as the Scotch, may awaken a
great deal of ire. Perhaps, on the -whole, the Pope, before he makes
his new Scotch arrangements, would do well to consider whether le
Scot vaut la chandelle of Holy Church, which His Infallibility is
thinking of again setting up in that stubborn and rebellious soil.
A GOOD FRENCH LESSON.
Describing- the success of a new play at the Gymnase, a Paris
Correspondent calls attention to a fact which he most properly con-
siders to be worthy of report:—
" It is to be noticed that in the ball-room scene several charming actresses
appear and dance who have not a word to utter. The names are printed in
the bills, but the personages are mute. How many theatres are there in
London where well-known comedians could be induced to appear as guests, in
a single scene, in order that the success of a piece should not be imperilled by
ill-dressed supers ?"
There still are certain matters which are managed not so well in
England as in France, and the matter of stage management may be
fairly classed as one of them. Attention to small details is fre-
quently a great thing in getting up a piece, and frequently these
little points are largely overlooked, if not utterly lost sight of. On
the English stage a ball-room scene would be a sorry spectacle, nor
would the presence of "well-known Comedians" materially en-
liven it. One may, indeed, imagine how Mr. Toole might be
applauded for dancing a quadrille, and what mirth he might elicit
by his comical contortions while drawing on his gloves (which, of
course, would be too big for him), or when entangling his legs help-
lessly with his partner's long silk skirt. But one must cross the
Channel to see a ball-room scene put fitly on the stage, where the
guests are not grotesque in costume or appearance, and the dancing
is of such sort as is seen in modern drawing-rooms, and does not
degrade a comedy into a burlesque. Let Mr. Hare, the Manager of
the Court Theatre, take the opportunity of Victims, in which one Act
passes at an aesthetic soiree, to set a better example. He has pre-
pared the way to a change for the better in this respect by all he has
done already in the way of stage-mounting and arrangement.
THE SOCIETY FOR THE ABOLITION OF CAKES
AND ALE.
Fired doubtless by the example of the raid upon Christmas Cards
in the newspapers, tand determined to better the instruction, the
writers of the following genial letters have sent Mr. Punch their
" seasonable " communications for publication.
Mr. Punch, Lower Tooting.
Were you not a man, I might possibly respect you. But,
as I hate the whole of your sex, I can but regard you with feelings
of loathing and contempt. Still, I am more likely, perhaps, to receive
justice at your hands than at the hands of any of your brothers, I
write to protest against the sending of Valentines. The men who send
them are impudent puppies, and the women forward minxes. I have
no patience with either ! I never received but one Valentine myself,
and that was of an insulting character—suggesting that I was over
forty, when even now I am barely thirty three. I sent it to my
Solicitor. That was more than ten years ago, and he has not yet
discovered the libeller. If he had, I would have taught the
creature the penalty of propagating libellous lies, even under the
vulgar disguise of a Valentine.
Yours indignantly,
Virginia Veejuice.
g No. 3 Staircase, Mould's Inn.
I hearttly approve of the excellent letters in the news-
papers on the extravagant folly of Christmas Cards, which has now
reached such a disgusting pitch. It is said that these idiotic effusions
please the children, but what right, I ask, have the children to be
pleased at the expense of their elders ? 1 hate children. They are
nuisances and grievances, which every year become more expensive
to those who are unlucky enough to be saddled with them, and
even more annoying to those who have escaped the infliction.
And now, Sir, I wish to raise my voice against another abuse. I
would ask, why should children's birthdays be kept ? Why should
these little nuisances have toys and treats showered upon them in
celebration of events which from any rational point of view can only
be described as lamentable ?
The practice has increased, is'increasing, and ought to be diminished
—nay, Sir, it ought to be discontinued altogether. From causes beyond
my own control, I am a frequent visitor at a house where children
abound. The cook and the cellar are a set-off against the nursery-
plagues. Whenever I am at this house one child or another is sure to
be having a birthday, and I am expected to give this child a present
under the penalty of being considered a mean old brute. Put the
thing down, Sir, put it down ! It is an imposition, Sir, a scandal, a
levy of blackmail on those whom Providence and Prudence together
have saved from this class of inflictions !
Amongst whom I thankfully sign myself, Yours,
sowerbv. G rumpus.
c The Hole, ten miles from Merton,
blR,
I don't very often get hold of a paper, because I take good
care to live as far as I can from my fellow-creatures. For many
years I have been convinced that most things in life are bad, and the
remainder worse. The attack upon Christmas Cards is about the
most sensible move that has attracted my notice for the last quarter
of a century. But why not go further and do away with the other an-
noyances of the festive (!) season, such as bells, waits, holly,mistletoe,
charitable appeals, roast turkeys, plum-pudding, mince-pies, "good
wishes," and all the rest of the Christmas tomfoolery ? I throw out
the suggestion for what it is worth, and sign myself without any
disguise, Kerr Mudgeon.
n.b.
" Our Winter Exhibition" to be "continued in our next." A
few more sketches yet remaining to be shown to the public.