Punch (74.1878)

233 PUNCH, OR THE~ LONDON CHAftlYART. [Mat 25, 1878

TRANSPARENT.

'Liza {noticing newly-married Couple). " Ridic'lous, v' know I Just as )f Folks couldn't see throl gh it! Weil, there !
When me and m? young Man goes to 'Ampion Court, arter^we're tied up, I'll have the Carriage marked 'Married,'
and not be ashamed on it ! 1 "

picture by a letter from Oliver Cromwell, and another from a
gentleman called "Squire Papers." Having looked at the picture
before reading the explanation, it had occurred to me that it was
" Nuns going out for a drive at so much an hour, while the others
are crying at being obliged to stay at home." Or it was "Nuns
going to market, and the Superioress giving her last instructions as
to what they were to pay for a duckling and peas, or whatever it
might be." But I am wrong. Oliver Cromwell's letter to Mr.
Calderon is highly satisfactory.

No. 356. Come to bathe quietly, but, oh, I'm afraid there '* a
horrid lot of frogs here! By E. Armitage, R.A. The Catalogue
suggests quite another idea. The picture doesn't.

No. 406. An Autumn Morning. By H. Johnson. View of Sponge
Cake Farm, with a large slice cut out of one of the poundcakes fan-
cifully shaped like a hay-stack.

No. 1375. Salmon Leap, Cenarth Falls, Cardiganshire. By
Frakk Miles. It should have been called Salmon and Wales.
Of course, we were aware that " Salmon leap ; " But who, or what,
is " Cenarth ? " Bat why " Cenarth falls," when " Salmon leap,"
is a puzzler. Poor Cenarth.! sorry for him. The Fish is leaping,
Miles, in the air, and the Artist is to be congratulated on the leap
he has taken, and not in the dark.

"We Don't Want to Fight," &c.

{Classically put.)

Dear Mr. Punch,

How is this for marks ?

" Inviti quanquam saevo confligere bello,
Adsit opus, Jingo testamur Rjllipotentem,
Sunt nobis nummi, sunt agmina, tela, carinas."

Tours, Etonensis.

At London, and St. Petersburg.—Shuffle on, and Schouvaloff.

PARLIAMENTARY QUALIFICATIONS.

In view of recent Parliamentary experiences, the Committee
appointed to inquire into the conduct of Parliamentary elections
have, we understand, decided to recommend the following test-
questions to be, in future, put to all candidates for Parliament by
the Returning Officer. Candidates unable to answer them to be,
ipso facto, disqualified :—

1. Can you go without sleep for twenty-four hours at a stretch ?

2. Can you make a speech of three hours on a subject you know
nothing about ?

3. Can you crow like a cock, mew like a cat, bark like a dog, and
bray like an ass ?

4. Are you prepared to hiss and hoot everyone voting in a differ-
ent lobby from yourself f

5. Are you able to call a man a liar to his face (or behind his back)
without infringing the rules of Parliamentary debate ?

6. Can you defy the Speaker, challenge his ruling, and call him
to order, without rendering yourself palpably liable to arrest by the
Sergeant-at-Arms ?

7. Enumerate the various methods of obstructing a measure before
the House, enlarging specially on the respective conveniences of
counts-out, reports of progress, adjournments of the House, the
Committee, or the debate, as the case may be, and motions that the
Speaker or Chairman do leave the Chair, &c, &c. Illustrate your
reply in a supposititious report of an all-night sitting.

Text and Acceptation.
Beau pauperes we read,—

The poor are nil habentes f
" No," Bismarck says. " Not they ; that need
Beati possidentes.' "