Punch: Punch (75.1878)

84

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

[August 24, 1878.

I carried away with, rue the oars, mast, sail, &c, and then loosened
the fastenings of the Arkadia, which at once came to pieces. I left

the rudder with them, and, as I had got all the bolts with me, I
knew they couldn't make a bolt without me,^and so felt satisfied.

Kising early, I went to the top of the hill, and saw a man striking
an attitude. Having always a sympathy for the weak, and noticing

that the man was
about to strike it again,
and this without the
smallest provocation, I
interfered.

The person, thus in-
terrupted, in his cruel
sport—for every savage
thinks he has a natural
right to strike his own
attitude as much as he
likes—was in evening
dress, and began, forth-
with, making signs of
amity to us.

'' He has been out all
night," said McSmug-
gins, suspiciously.

'' I know him,'' cried
M'yionyu, the Detec-
tive, "from informa-
tion I've received, it

is--."

"Who?" I asked,
breathlessly.
_ He replied in a thril-
ling whisper,

Dltmcrambo the
Brigand! "

DlTMCRAMBO, the native BRIGAND,

In Evening Dress, making Signs of Amity to us.

(From a sketch taken on the spot. N.B.—Notice the eye, which is well
dotted, and gives a double or treacherous expression to the Brigand's
countenance.)

THE NEXT NAVAL REVIEW.

(By Telegraph.)

Portsmouth, 8 a.m.
The morning is fine, the sea calm, and the leaves are per-
feetly [still. Not a breath of wind, fortunately. The Authorities,
however, are rather anxious. Some of the sailors of the Omnipotent
have not learned to walk upon the tight rope, and it is feared that
they may cause that powerful Ironclad to lose its finely adjusted
balance and capsize in consequence.

10 A.M.

The Authorities are in high spirits. The whole of the Ironclad
Fleet has moved nearly a dozen yards without serious mishap. The
Thunderbolt, however, very narrowly escaped a terrible accident.
Some careless Seaman allowed a heavy shot to roll on one side,
causing the vessel to heel over in a most alarming and dangerous
manner. A light-weight Midshipman, with the assistance of a small
balloon, was, however, able to repair the mischief before the ship
turned turtle.

12 noon.

Another mishap ! Some silly Artillery Volunteers have just fired
a gun. The concussion has caused a distinct breath of wind. The
Ironclads are rocking and rolling in the most violent and perilous
style. They have had to be anchored ; and now the Authorities are
talking about using Russian air-bags as a further precaution.

2 p.m.

A great diappointment! The Naval Preview has had to be
postponed ! Sufficient wind has sprung up to blow out some of the
fiags. Besides, it is beginning to rain.

FAIR GAME.

Actors r. Authors was played at Lord's last week. We believe
there is to be a return match. The following is our list of the two
Elevens, open to correction :—

Actors.

Mr. Benjamin Webster (with a very long innings, and " not out").
Mr. J. B. Buckstone (also a long innings—stumped).
Mr. John Hare (" caught "-Theatre).
M. H. Irving (long leg).

Mr. S. Bancroft (who wiU score some splendid runs).

Mr. J. L. Toole (in two pieces—one being The Cricket on the Hearth).

Messrs. James and Thorne (one run between them).

Mr. Phelps (long stop). _

Mr. Henry Neville (point).

Mr. Arthur Cecil (Captain).

Mr. Dion Boucicault (will appear as The Vampire, a new version
of The Umpire).

For the Authors, Messsrs. Bolton and Saville Rowe will go in
together, and obtain two runs. Mr. Planche will be Captain and
long stop. Mr. Wills will exhibit his well-known play. Mr.
Albery will also give us a notion of his play, "not out". Mr.
Palgrave Simpson will "adapt" himself to circumstances.
Mr. H. J. Byron will make a big hit, and Mr. W. S. Gilbert several
with his Harlequin "bat." Mr. E. L. Blanchard, Umpire.
Messrs. Farnie and Reece will stand in and make some good
catches. And should any assistance be wanted, a messenger will
at once be sent to fetch the Editor of Vanity Fair, T. G. Bowles,
or Mr. Mortimer of the Figaro, who woidd provide the players with
stage-directions for his Little}Cricket.

Rule, Britannia'

Here is the latest sample of our naval supremacy:—

" A Yacht run down.-—The Lively, one of Her Majesty's despatch-
boats, had landed a party at East Cowes yesterday afternoon, and as she was
' slewing ' round to go away, she carried away the cutwater and other parts of
the Boyal yacht Alberta. The Lively proceeded on her course, and had not
gone far when she came into collision with a yacht that was ' for hire or sale,'
and immediately sank her, a portion of her mast only remaining above water.
This occurred in broad daylight. Fortunately no person was on board at the
time. The Lively then ran aground."

After dealing such lively destruction, suicide seems quite the
correct thing. But should not such despatch-boats be called
" Happy Despatch " boats ?

Branding- a Buck.

Mr. J. Roebuck has been made a Privy Councillor, and in that
character may write "Right Honourable" after his name. But
both as to the "right" and the "honour," under the circumstances,
opinions are likely to differ. The Queen is, happily, not the foun-
tain of "right," whatever she may be of " honour," in the conven-
tional sense of the word.

To CoBESSrOHBBl'ns.—The Editor does not hold himself bound to acjcnoidedge, return, or pau for Contributions. In no case can these be returned unless accompanied by a

ttampfd and directed envelope. Copies should be kept.