Punch: Punch (78.1880)

March 27, 1880.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

THE USE OF THE TELEPHONE

[Bell rings.-]

City Gent (through Telephone). “Yes.”—(Listens.)—“Os!—eh?”—(Listens.)—“Ah!—eh?—I don’t quite-What ? ”—(Listens

again.)—“Can’t hear what you say !”—(Listens.)—“Um !—eh?—conf- Here,—stop a Minute!—I’ll send a Clerk round

to see what you want. Nibbs, run round to Draper’s Gardens, &c., &c.--1”

company always excepted—had encouraged the belief abroad that
England was divided at home.

Lords Kimberley, Cranbrook, Ripon, Cairns, and Selborne,
took part in one of the smartest little condones ad populum the
Upper House has turned out, and, as usual, our Lords, in the conduct
of their last week, stand in favourable contrast with our Commons.

(Commons.)—A'calm correction of one of Government’s blunders—
about the Easter Monday YolunteerReview—by the Commons’ cool of
the evening, Sir JohnHolker; and acalm committal, by SirSTAFRord
Northcote, of another and more serious one, the addition of £100.000
to the monstrously cruel and unjust probate duties on personalty,
on the plea of relieving smaller estates at the expense of larger.

Mr. Gladstone protested against this tampering with an iniquit-
ously unfair impost, which wanted thorough over-hauling. He
showed how the alteration would make bad rather worse than better,
both as regarded the pressure on small properties and the unfair
distinction between personal and real estate. He knew his protest
would be useless, but must make it for comfort of his conscience.

Mr. Childers backed Mr. Gladstone in his protest against Bill
and Budget.

Sir Selwin Ibbetson and Mr. Hubbard tried to set up a case for
the Budget, though the latter would have nothing to say to the Bill,
and gave it up as a bad j ob.

MrWaddy criticised, and the Chancellor of the Exchequer
did his best to defend the Budget. It was painful to see Sir Staf-
ford’s efforts to wriggle out of the mess. He had not extinguished
the Sinking Fund, only diverted it for five years. The Government
had diminished debt—they really had, though it mightn’t be so easy
to prove it in figures, and ought to be thanked for not having
increased taxation. The country was hard up, and preferred
borrowing to paying.

After some desultory talk, during which the House dwindled down to
one and the Chair, indefatigable Sir George Balfour being left, like
a senatorial Atlas, to bear the Collective Wisdom on his single pair of
shoulders, the Bill was read a Second Time, and the House skedaddled.

Tuesday (Lords).—Lord Camperdown pleaded for the poor
water-drinkers of the Metropolis, helpless in the hands of the
hydra of the Companies, who can go on raising rates with
rentals, till it seems likely to come to a mournful two-part song of
“ Bricks and Mortar all around, and not a House to take ' ” and
“ Water, water, all ar mnd, and not a drop to drink ’’—except for
the bloated milhonnaires who don’t care how much they pay either
for their house-room or their Adam’s Ale, How that Mr, Cross’s
Bill was crossed out, was there, Lord Camperdown asked, to be no
buffer between water-sellers and water-buyers r
Earl Beauchamp rather regretted the new Bill, which he thought
had been unfairly strangled in the birth, bqt said that whenever a
new Parliament met. Water must be one of its first cares.

(Commons)—To the fag-end of a House the Bill for legalising
Cab-corruption went into Committee*

Never was a more audacious abuse of the opportunities of an
expiring Parliament and an overwhelming majority, than this un-
handsome driving of hansoms and much-growled-at invasion of
growlers, over the body of th; law. Say what they will, it is a
change calculated, if not meant, to catch cab-masters’ votes, and to
give a strong pull to long purses.

The English Opposition, being divided, protested in vain, but
Scotch and Irish vetos, the first country being unanimous, the second
past praying for, were successful in taking these countries out of
the Bill, into which an ill-advised amendment of Sir John Hol-
eer’s had brought them—the Bill having been originally framed for
England only. Wales protested she was at least as poor, and as
honest as either Scotland or Ireland, but could not get out. So after
various Divisions the Bill passed through Committee, and the Elec-
tion I/aw of England is the worse by another advantage secured to
long purses, and another facility given for indirect purchase of
votes. But if Tory voters submit to he driven, let Opposition
voters walk to the poll, and a-top of their Ministerial Opponents !

Wednesday (Lords). — A Lordly passage of rms over the
Hypothec Bill, in which Lord Calrns called Lord Redesdalk a