Punch: Punch (78.1880)

) 220 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [May 15, !8»o.

THE OLD AND THE NEW.

Master Freddy (from Eton). “ What lots of Energy you’ve got, Grandpapa ! ”

Grandpapa. “ Pretty well, my Boy, for my Time of Life.”

Master Freddy (languidly). “ Oh, but energy’s such awf’ly Bad Form, you know ! ”

Sir Stafford Northcote seconded the Motion.

Mr. Whitbread weightily reminded the House that it was dealing with a weighty matter,
which might affect the tenure of more than a seat in that House, e.g., a seat on the Woolsack.

Mr. Gregory felt a scruple whether this mixing up of questions as to Legal and Parlia-
mentary Oaths and Affirmations might not somehow bring the House within whiff and wind
of the Law Courts, to which, as an attorney—we beg pardon—a family solicitor, he may be
presumed to have an objection.

Earl Percy, as representative of the high lineage of the Smithsons, and Sir H. Wolff,
as representative of the stiff higher lineage of the Children of Israel, having a natural aversion
to the Proletarian and Latitudinarian representative of the Northampton sutors, who have
soared so far beyond their last, in their present, representatives, moved and seconded the
adjournment of the House, at least till they could see the Motion in black and white, and
discover whether they liked it any better in print than in Lord Frederick’s mouth and the
Clerk at the Table’s Manuscript.

Sir C. Dilke and Mr. Walpole deprecated delay, in the teeth of Wolff.

Mr. Beresford Hope said the House was only a half-hatched chicken, so had no right
to be wholly chicken-hearted, though a mine had been sprung upon it.

_ Whereupon the Percy and the Wolff having done their utmost to divide the House, and
failed, let their Motion be negatived without a division, and the House set to again for a
“good swear.” Then, by way of getting Bradlaugh off the brain, several Orders were
agreed to, several new Writs were issued for seats emptied by Office, and two for seats
emptied by death; and Notices of Motion were given—

By Sir H. Drummond Wolff—second cry of Wolff this Session—to call attention to our
Treaty obligations towards Turkey.

By Mr. Morgan Lloyd, for a Biff to Prevent Canvassing. (My dear Morgan Lloyd,
don’t you wish you may get it ?) ;

By Mr. McIver, to caff attention to the operation of Free Trade on Manufactures and
Agriculture in Ireland, and to move a Resolution. (What can move Mr. McIver’s Resolution,
who has still the courage of his belief in Protection ?);

And by Sir Wilfrid, to move a Resolution in favour of Local Option.

In shorter words, enter three M.P.’s on three hobby-horses—pawant, prancant !

N.B.—Mr. Morgan Llowd’s is not a hobby-horse, but a Welsh pony, a very different
animal, though as little likely to come to the halfway-house on the road to Purity of Election,

with the sign of “No Canvass,” as the
veriest hobby-horse that was ever trotted
out on the Westminster Course.

Wednesday.—More parading of hobby-
horses. Mr. Chaplin on Agricultural Hold-
ings ; Mr. Plimsoll, on Crain Cargoes;
and Mr. Richard, on Disarmament.

The animals were not much admired, and
their well-known points did not call for
much remark—or, at least, did not provoke
any beyond the familiar, “Ah! the old
story!”

A squabble over the nomination of the
Bradlaugh Committee, of which Lord R.
Crosvenor brought down a list including
all shades of opinion and legal lore, from
the mild wisdom of Walpole to the per-
fervid genius of Chaplin, and from the
ponderous erudition of Holker to the legal
liveliness of Hopwood, and all ingredients
of British blood, from the solid John Bull-
it-headedness of Massey, to the Welsh
warmth of Watkin Williams, and the
Irish fire of Captain Nolan.

On Monday more names, said Lord
Richard, would be added, if their bearers
were by that time housed, as it was to be
hoped they would be.

Sir H. D. Wolff, as champion of ortho-
doxy, had opened the ball, or rather the
fire, by announcing his intention of opposing
the nomination of the Committee when ana
by whomsoever moved.

Hereupon a lively little teacup-tempest
was stirred up over the question whether a
Motion could be made to add names without
notice of names given; Messrs. Gorst and
Callan, Ritchie and McCullagh Torrens,
bringing their small tea-spoons to Sir H.
Drummond Wolff’s big gravy ditto.

The Speaker being referred to, said no
doubt the rule was that Notice of Names
should be given, but the House might dis-
pense with it; and Lord F. Caafendish, as
Deus ex machina, suggested that Lord
Richard had better keep his Notice of
Names till Monday, and move the Com-
mittee the day after.

Here is a mighty craning at an imaginary
fence. It is a mere cry of “Wolff”—not
serious. The House has swallowed too
many camels, Quakers and Separatists,
Moravians and Jews, Latitudinarians, and
Platitudinarians, Unitarians and Humani-
tarians, Anythingarians, and Nothing-
arians, to be now straining over such
a gnat as poor Mr. Bradlaugh, natural
representative of the Northampton Shoe -
makers, who object to the Immortality of
the Sole, and spell the word indifferently
with ana without a “u” and an “ e.”

The time has surely passed when the
House should seek shelter against objection-
able beliefs or unbeliefs behind such delu-
sive defences as oaths and tests. “ Let the
swearers swear, and the sayers sajr,” the
Law has proclaimed, for all Courts. Why,
then, not for the High Court of Parliament
—the Court of Courts—the very conduit
and fountain-head of Law ?

Let us hope that the Commons’ Committee
will be enabled so to report, and thus allow
the troubled Wolff to lie down with that
brace of little ewe lambs—Bradlaugh and
Labouchere! It is surely enough that
Northampton has made a Member of Mr.
Bradlaugh, without the House making a
martyr of him—and, as such, a much more
prominent and important person.

A BRIGHT IDEA FROM PRACTICAL LANCA-
SHIRE.

How to get the most good out of the New
Parliament. Put it on Peace-Work.