Punch: Punch (81.1881)

88

PUNCH, OB THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [August 27, 1881.

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM

THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

Prince of W-l-s. Earl of R-s-b-rv. Lord Cr-ubr-k. Bishop of P-t-rb-r-gh. Duke of Ab-rc-m. Lord Ch-lmsf-rd.

Duke of C-mbr-dge. Earl Sp-nc-r. Earl of K-mb-rl-y. Lord C-rl-ngf-rd. Earl of Sh-ft-sb-ry. Archbishop of C-nt-rb-ry.

MORE "FORMS OF THE HOUSES."

{By Electric Light.)

Monday, August 15.—Mr. Macdonald came down to-night deter-
mined to ride upon the whirlwind and direct the storm. " Toby"
he said, turning back the skirts of his coat, and thrusting forward
his swelling chest just as I have seen a pigeon do, " this is a case
where the people's moving, and I'm Vox populous. Bijet's too
quiet, and that there Beoadhubst's trying to cut me out. But I '11
show 'em to-night who's who."

So he did ; only House seems to have known it before. Fine
opportunity for a modest man to come out. Great heart of the
country raging because my Lords have been coming the Marquis
over the Land Bill. Great heart even now beating against the rail-
ings of Palace Yard, or as near to them as a vigorous police, in good
practice, will allow it to come. House crowded; expectancy
written on every face, and a copy of the Lords' Amendments in
every hand. Presently hear a sound like the beating of the sea on a
distant shingly shore.

"They're cheering Gladstone," Haecoitbt says, comforting
. himself under this misappropriation of popular esteem by softly
stroking the swelling of his chin.

Presently Gladstone comes in, looking a little flushed. Cheer
taken up from Ministerial Benches, and rings out again. Lord
Lansdowne, seated in the gallery over the clock, looks down, mar-
velling. Had no idea of this sort of thing. Marquis of Water-
ford, who had recently occasion to believe accepted view of his
career a mistake, and that he really is a statesman, begins to doubt.
"Thank heaven," said Lord Beabouene, who has studied all Mr.
Disraeli's sayings, "that there's twenty feet between us and the
Commons ! "

All the while Macdonald " wisibly swellin." Excited with the
cheers outside, demented by the cheering within,, gets a curious
notion that it is himself all the enthusiasm wells up around. Now is
the time to strike. The Hour demands the Man. Perhaps if he
doesn't make haste, Gladstone will be up claiming to have some-
thing to do with the matter. So Macdonald rises, and standing
well out on the floor, so that he maybe seen of men, "wants to know
whether it is comp'tent to any Hon'ble Member to move the rejection
of the Lords' Amendments as a whole at once."

Why this ribald laughter ? Wherefore this snub from the Speaker ?
and why this hearty reception of Gladstone, when they had only
laughed at him ?

" Henvy, Toby, henvy,'' said Mr. Macdonald, with a sigh. "It's
all very well them sayin' they like the workin' man. But let a workin'
man's Member show that he can dress as well as them, wear watches
and chains and rings like them, use words even bigger than them,
talk about his ' noble friends' like some of them, and show hisself
ready at any moment to lead the House, and then you '11 see where
they '11 be. As Shaespeabe says, Scratch a Corsack and you '11 find
a Tartar."

Business done.—Lords' Amendments to Land Bill knocked over
again.

Tuesday.—Quite an affecting parting with Mr. Rylands just
now. Peter has gone home a sadder and a wiser man. Not even
the excitement of pairing for the rest of the Session with Randolph
has raised his spirits. The Session has been a blank to him, broken
at the last by two acute disappointments following sharp on each
other's heels. When the Liberals were in opposition, Peteb had
rather a good time of it. No week passed but he had some

tremendous Resolution on the Orders, and frequently made a
speech. Now, with his party in power, he is evilly entreated
when he would table a Resolution, and howled at by his neighbours
when he would make a speech.

All this he bore with great patience, though he tells me, with
tears in his eyes, no one knows what he has suffered. But he saw
reward almost within reach. When Grant Dupe went to India,
Peter felt that the only uncertainty was whether Gladstone
would offer him the Under-Secretaryship at the Colonies or in the
Home Department. Peter rather fancied the Colonies, as offering
a wider field for an Imperial mind. Went and looked over the
Colonial Office in a casual manner to make some inquiry, and
thought Grant Dtjee's room very pleasant.

Dreadful blow when a faithless and forgetful Minister passed
him by. Fresh gleam of hope when crisis arose with Land Bill.
Rumoured that if the Lords stuck out, Gladstone would make a
fresh batch of Peers.

" How would 'Lord Burnley' look ? " Petee said to me only last
Friday night. " Or do yon like ' Baron Thelwall ' better ? "

Didn't know what was in his mind at the moment. Thought they
were alternative titles for a novel. But all clear now. The Under-
Secretaryships are rilled ; there are to be no more Peers; and Peter
wearily wends his way homeward meditating on man's ingratitude.
It was in this humour that Randolph, who knows about Mephis-
topheles and Faust, got hold of him and opened friendly negotiations
by proposing to pair. Fancy from something Peter said we shall
hear more of this next Session when the Fourth Party may appear
with a notable recruit.

Business done.—Lords accepted Commons' Amendments to Land
Bill.

Wednesday.—Singularly pleasant man, Sir William Haecotjet,
when he is pleased with himself, a thing which often happens in
spite of ill-natured remarks to the contrary. Came upon him this
afternoon with a piece of paper before him, softly smiling to himself,
and gently caressing his chin.

" What do you think of that, Toby ?" he said, showing me the
paper.

I thought a great deal of it. Really a capital idea. Sir William
at the Lord Mayor's banquet made some beautiful remarks about
Mr. Gladstone, full of tender feeling, high appreciation, and enthu-
siastic personal devotion. Am told several Aldermen wept when
they heard it. Some discriminating person has had the passage
reprinted in letters of gold, and sends Sir William a lew spare
copies. , . , , , ,,

"Beautiful!" I said, "admirable! touching! But dont you
think it would be nice and appropriate to add, perhaps in letters
of silver, the few remarks you offered about Mr. Gladstone, in the
early months of the Session of 1875, when he appeared to be in such
low water that there seemed never a chance of his holding Jus head
up again ? Don't you remember how you turned upon him as he sat
by your side on the front Opposition bench, and how the lories
cheered, and how-" , . ,, , A

But he was gone, after giving me a look as black as thunder.
Suppose I must have said something. Always putting my toot

m Business done.—Mx. Paenell moves Yote of Censure on Mr.

forstee.