DOI Heft:
April 8, 1882
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17752#0167
160 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVAEI. [April 8, 1882.
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
BXTRACTED FROM
THE DIARY OF TOBY. M.P.
Q-ETTINGr G-LADSTONE’S COLLAR UP.
_ Monday Night, March 27.—Mr. Walpole in his seat at question
time; Doesn’t often come now. Unlucky he should have heen here
to-night; his feelings having been sufficiently worked upon during
! the course of a long and honourahle career. If he ’d only been ten
minutes later all would have been well. Came in just in time to
hear Mr. Sexton put a question. It seems there is a prisoner in
Kilkenny Graol, to whom a blood-thirsty Government have refused
the use of a harmonium. Attorney-General of Ireland con-
fronted with the question as to whether the Executive had declined
to allow this Gentleman the use of a harmonium, fenced with it in
customary Crown-lawyer style. Could not answer without notice.
That’s allvery well, but in the meantime this Nobleman languishes
in prison uncomforted by the strains of the harmonium.
i “ No one can suspect me of associating with the Land-League lot,”
Mr. Walpole said to me, with the tears streaming adown his face ;
1 ‘ ‘ but to think that a Gentleman sent to gaol, having asked for a
harmonium, should be refused ! It ’s worse than anything done in
Naples during the reign of Bomba.”
“ Perhaps,” I said, wishing to comfort him, “ they eouldn’t get it
in at the door, and the windows are, I ’m told, always incon-
veniently narrow in gaols.”
“ 'Then,” said Mr. Walpole, with honest indignation, and a fresh
tear, “ they should have built another prison, or should have taken
care to put a Gentleman of musical tastes in a gaol where the door-
way was wide enough to take in an ordinary harmonium.”
“ Peradventure,” I remarked, “ the other Gentlemen in prison
might not like a harmonium going. I have heard of people who
obj ected to a piano ‘ strumming, ’ as they brutally call it, in the
next room, and I have seen the harmless organ-grinder driven
from the door-step bv the hard-hearted householder.”
“ Oh! ” said Mr. "Walpole, weeping afresh, “that’s the diffi-
culty of the Government. I am glad I am out of it. Can’t please
qne party without offending another. What ’s one man’s harmonium
is another man’s abomination. Full of difficulty, full of difficulty ;
vet I cannot refuse the natural tear when I hear these cases of
Governmental tyranny.”
Wish the estimable old Gentleman would look alittle nearer home,
and waste some of his sympathy on us. Here ’s the Cloture Barrel-
Organ been a-grinding all night, and we are promised another night
of it on Thursday.
Thursday Niglit.—House crowded again, and everysign of excite-
ment. Thoiight at first it was the Scalloped-Oyster, Swan-with-
Two-Necks, and Mulligatawny Railway Bill in another stage.
Begin to be sorry hadn’t looked it up. But shall vote one way or
the other this time. Shall follow Dillwyn’s lead. He seems to
know more about it than any other man, and the other night observed
highly judicious eourse. Moved an Amendment, and then voted
against it. More cannot be expected from a Borough Member.
Turns out not to be Stewed-Oyster, Black-Swan, and Mumble-
Bee Railway. Our old friend the Cloture on again. Going to settle
it now, I expect. _ Been at it long enough. Here ’s Easter Recess
close at hand. Nice thing to get it all over before we start af'resh after
the holidays. When we come back shall have a chance of getting
to real business. Lyon Playfair (who, by the way, does look paler)
says we ’ve hardly touched the fringe of the question. Seems there
are fifty Amendments before we get through this first Resolution,
and there are eleven more Resolutions. Sir George Elliot, who
can do any sum in his head, reckons that at present rate of progress
shall have reached the third Rule on 12th of August. Sir George
looking very well, but complains of cramped space.
“Egypt’s the place for me, Toby,” he says. “ I like a place
where you can cock your legs upon the bench, and no questions
asked. In Egypt you can take your dinner lying down if you like ;
but here have to sit boit upright, as if you were being photographed.
The other night got on a back bench, where I thought I could. not
catch the Speaker’s eye if I wanted. Spread myself out; just be-
ginning to think Parliamentary life not so bad after all, when up
comes Sergeant-at-Arms. Says this isn’t manners. ‘ No, but it ’s
eomfort,’ says I. But had to sit up.”
Nice genial man, Sir George. Joseph Gillis quite taken to him.
Pleasant to see them together. J. G. instructing him in politics,
and fancies he ’ll make somethiDg of him.
“ Worst of' him is,” Joey B. says, “ whenever I talk of his noble
espousal of our cause at the Election, and his pledge about the
prisoners, he changes the subject, or sees someone on other side who
he must speak to.”
Pretty speechfrom Mr. Bright, and short too, which is something'
in these days. Almost gentle with the Conservatives, but came
down heavy on the Land-Leaguers, to their pained indignation.
Have observed before that your greatest sticklers for Order are to be
found amongst the Land-Leaguers. Also, here are the most sensi-
tive minds who sbrink from the use of harsh language. Mr. Callan
positively gets red in the face, and his wordstumble over each other
in generous haste, when he hears any imputation on the honesty of
purpose, purity of motive, or general decorum of Land-League
party. Man of exquisitely _ refined mind is Philip. Also _ of
polished manners. Shrinks instinctively not only from anything
that is absolutely rude or vulgar, but from speech calculated to hurt
the feelings of the least-considered Member. Land-Leaguers
shocked at Mr. Bright’s language to-night. Mr. Sexton retiresfor
four hours, to prepare impromptu reply. When he comes back goes
hot for Bright. Mr. Callan and Mr. Healy must be absent, else
we should hear protests against these insinuations and imputations
on the part of their colleague.
Friday Morning.—Division at last. Elderly Members who were
here even before Mr. Newdegat.e, brought gently in by the new
Ambulance Corps. Members asleep waked up. Mr. Warton’s
snuff-box in great request. Members being half asleep, terribly
afraid of going into wrong lobby. Wideawake Members with an
eye to the scarcity of cabs, get into the lobbies as soon as the ques-
tion is put. Mr. Biggar bustles out between Colonel Stanley and
Sir Walter Barttelot.
“Landlordism and No-rent,” says Sir Wilerid Lawson, coming
in from the Bar, where he has had a “ pick-me-up,” composed of
the refreshing lemon and the invigorating spring water.
Mr. Healy rubs shoulders with Sir Staeeord Northcote, and
Mr. Callan leads the way for Mr. Chkistopher Sykes. A constant
stream from either doorway ; a rising hubbub of voices ; a succes-
sion of Members breaking through the throng, bringing in the latest !
figures polled ; search for Lord Richard Grosvenor, who has been ■
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
BXTRACTED FROM
THE DIARY OF TOBY. M.P.
Q-ETTINGr G-LADSTONE’S COLLAR UP.
_ Monday Night, March 27.—Mr. Walpole in his seat at question
time; Doesn’t often come now. Unlucky he should have heen here
to-night; his feelings having been sufficiently worked upon during
! the course of a long and honourahle career. If he ’d only been ten
minutes later all would have been well. Came in just in time to
hear Mr. Sexton put a question. It seems there is a prisoner in
Kilkenny Graol, to whom a blood-thirsty Government have refused
the use of a harmonium. Attorney-General of Ireland con-
fronted with the question as to whether the Executive had declined
to allow this Gentleman the use of a harmonium, fenced with it in
customary Crown-lawyer style. Could not answer without notice.
That’s allvery well, but in the meantime this Nobleman languishes
in prison uncomforted by the strains of the harmonium.
i “ No one can suspect me of associating with the Land-League lot,”
Mr. Walpole said to me, with the tears streaming adown his face ;
1 ‘ ‘ but to think that a Gentleman sent to gaol, having asked for a
harmonium, should be refused ! It ’s worse than anything done in
Naples during the reign of Bomba.”
“ Perhaps,” I said, wishing to comfort him, “ they eouldn’t get it
in at the door, and the windows are, I ’m told, always incon-
veniently narrow in gaols.”
“ 'Then,” said Mr. Walpole, with honest indignation, and a fresh
tear, “ they should have built another prison, or should have taken
care to put a Gentleman of musical tastes in a gaol where the door-
way was wide enough to take in an ordinary harmonium.”
“ Peradventure,” I remarked, “ the other Gentlemen in prison
might not like a harmonium going. I have heard of people who
obj ected to a piano ‘ strumming, ’ as they brutally call it, in the
next room, and I have seen the harmless organ-grinder driven
from the door-step bv the hard-hearted householder.”
“ Oh! ” said Mr. "Walpole, weeping afresh, “that’s the diffi-
culty of the Government. I am glad I am out of it. Can’t please
qne party without offending another. What ’s one man’s harmonium
is another man’s abomination. Full of difficulty, full of difficulty ;
vet I cannot refuse the natural tear when I hear these cases of
Governmental tyranny.”
Wish the estimable old Gentleman would look alittle nearer home,
and waste some of his sympathy on us. Here ’s the Cloture Barrel-
Organ been a-grinding all night, and we are promised another night
of it on Thursday.
Thursday Niglit.—House crowded again, and everysign of excite-
ment. Thoiight at first it was the Scalloped-Oyster, Swan-with-
Two-Necks, and Mulligatawny Railway Bill in another stage.
Begin to be sorry hadn’t looked it up. But shall vote one way or
the other this time. Shall follow Dillwyn’s lead. He seems to
know more about it than any other man, and the other night observed
highly judicious eourse. Moved an Amendment, and then voted
against it. More cannot be expected from a Borough Member.
Turns out not to be Stewed-Oyster, Black-Swan, and Mumble-
Bee Railway. Our old friend the Cloture on again. Going to settle
it now, I expect. _ Been at it long enough. Here ’s Easter Recess
close at hand. Nice thing to get it all over before we start af'resh after
the holidays. When we come back shall have a chance of getting
to real business. Lyon Playfair (who, by the way, does look paler)
says we ’ve hardly touched the fringe of the question. Seems there
are fifty Amendments before we get through this first Resolution,
and there are eleven more Resolutions. Sir George Elliot, who
can do any sum in his head, reckons that at present rate of progress
shall have reached the third Rule on 12th of August. Sir George
looking very well, but complains of cramped space.
“Egypt’s the place for me, Toby,” he says. “ I like a place
where you can cock your legs upon the bench, and no questions
asked. In Egypt you can take your dinner lying down if you like ;
but here have to sit boit upright, as if you were being photographed.
The other night got on a back bench, where I thought I could. not
catch the Speaker’s eye if I wanted. Spread myself out; just be-
ginning to think Parliamentary life not so bad after all, when up
comes Sergeant-at-Arms. Says this isn’t manners. ‘ No, but it ’s
eomfort,’ says I. But had to sit up.”
Nice genial man, Sir George. Joseph Gillis quite taken to him.
Pleasant to see them together. J. G. instructing him in politics,
and fancies he ’ll make somethiDg of him.
“ Worst of' him is,” Joey B. says, “ whenever I talk of his noble
espousal of our cause at the Election, and his pledge about the
prisoners, he changes the subject, or sees someone on other side who
he must speak to.”
Pretty speechfrom Mr. Bright, and short too, which is something'
in these days. Almost gentle with the Conservatives, but came
down heavy on the Land-Leaguers, to their pained indignation.
Have observed before that your greatest sticklers for Order are to be
found amongst the Land-Leaguers. Also, here are the most sensi-
tive minds who sbrink from the use of harsh language. Mr. Callan
positively gets red in the face, and his wordstumble over each other
in generous haste, when he hears any imputation on the honesty of
purpose, purity of motive, or general decorum of Land-League
party. Man of exquisitely _ refined mind is Philip. Also _ of
polished manners. Shrinks instinctively not only from anything
that is absolutely rude or vulgar, but from speech calculated to hurt
the feelings of the least-considered Member. Land-Leaguers
shocked at Mr. Bright’s language to-night. Mr. Sexton retiresfor
four hours, to prepare impromptu reply. When he comes back goes
hot for Bright. Mr. Callan and Mr. Healy must be absent, else
we should hear protests against these insinuations and imputations
on the part of their colleague.
Friday Morning.—Division at last. Elderly Members who were
here even before Mr. Newdegat.e, brought gently in by the new
Ambulance Corps. Members asleep waked up. Mr. Warton’s
snuff-box in great request. Members being half asleep, terribly
afraid of going into wrong lobby. Wideawake Members with an
eye to the scarcity of cabs, get into the lobbies as soon as the ques-
tion is put. Mr. Biggar bustles out between Colonel Stanley and
Sir Walter Barttelot.
“Landlordism and No-rent,” says Sir Wilerid Lawson, coming
in from the Bar, where he has had a “ pick-me-up,” composed of
the refreshing lemon and the invigorating spring water.
Mr. Healy rubs shoulders with Sir Staeeord Northcote, and
Mr. Callan leads the way for Mr. Chkistopher Sykes. A constant
stream from either doorway ; a rising hubbub of voices ; a succes-
sion of Members breaking through the throng, bringing in the latest !
figures polled ; search for Lord Richard Grosvenor, who has been ■