DOI Heft:
November 11, 1882
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17753#0227
November 11, 1882.] PUNCH, OP THE LONDON CHAPIVAPl
221
Very odd how the good Baronet mixes up people and
things. But the strain on his mind is enormous. Highest
Authority in the House, who is sometimes startled by
finding Sir Charles forlornly wandering about distant
oorridors, suggested he might wear a cloth-cap which
he could put in his pocket. But Sir Charles says he is
sure he’d put it in somebody else’s, and it would come to
the same thing. “ No,” he says, with a far-away look in
his eye. “ Man and boy, I ’ve been looking for my hat
for thirty years, and I ’ll go on—I’ll go on.”
Business clone— Mr. Gibson’s Amendment moved.
Wednesday.—Most affecting scene in the House to-
day. Lord Randolph came out in new character.
Hitherto has found the Present and the Past sufficient
for the searchings of his great mind. Now takes the
Future under his wing, and comes out as a Seer.
Solemnly warns Conservative Party of what is in store
for them. They will curse the day on which they were
betrayed. “ Aye,” says Lord Randolph, raising a pro-
phetic hand, and bending a glowering glance on the
shrinking form of Sir Stafford, “and the Leader who
betrayed them! ”
Drummond Wolef, who has a proper pride in his
Leader, says, “Reminds me of the warning given to
Lochiel before the fatal day: ‘ Lochiel, Lochiel,
beware of the day, When the Lowlands shall meet thee
in battle array ! ’ and that sort of thing, doncha know'?”
Drummond says with glistening eye and heightened
colour.
Certainly is something in that style, though don’t
remember myself ever to have seen a Seer with his hair
parted in the middle, carefully oiled, and brought to in
little bows at the forehead. As far as hair goes, Caven-
dish Bentinck or Mr. Forster would do the Seer better.
Also, Randolph might learn a lesson from Mr. Chaplin
when arranging his features on these occasions, and in
manipulating his voice. The troubled brow, the drooped
lips, the humid eye of Mr. Chaplin, combined with low
and solemn tones tremulous with suppressed emotion,
are recommended to Randolph’s attention next time
he comes out as a prophet. Also, he really must rumple
his hair.
Business done.—Conservative Party Warned.
Thursday.— More speeches to-night, though everyone
admits the thing is thrashed out.
“Wish the Speakers were, too,” says Lord Richard
Grosvenor, with yawn as long as list of Amendments
to First Resolution. “ What do people want making
speeches ? Quite enough for a man to vote.”
One thing to be said is that if Members will speak,
others won’t listen. House empty all night till eleven
o’clock. Then Clans gather, Members turn up from
various places, far and near, Northcote makes gentle
little jokes of astronomical order, at which the House
genially laugh. Hartington makes strong straight
speech which would have been straighter and stronger
had it been shorter. Everything that can be said has
been said. Marquis observes. What use is unlimited
prolixity in debate ? Excellent idea, only might have
been expressed in less than forty minutes.
When Hartington sits down, Mr. Callan gracefully
rises, and is impartially howled at. Old joke this, to
wait till Leaders have wound up debate, and then ap-
pear. Riles the House, and temporarily makes you
personage of importance. Difficult to say which side
Mr. Callan declares for. Is very distinctly heard to
denounce “ this coercible Government.” After which
he sinks back gently, but firmly, on the crown of his
hat, which is coerced into flattened shape.
Business done.—Mr. Gibson’s Amendment rejected by
322 votes against 238.
Friday.—House nearly empty all night. Neverthe-
less, speeches made on various subjects more or less
nearly connected with Amendment before House. Irish
Members show signs of waking up.
Business done.—None.
Rival Nostrums.
To right human wrongs and make all the world well,
Would the world but attend, there are two would
have taught her:
“ Land for the People’s the cure! ” cries Parnell,
Whilst Richardson swears it is Water.
“THE POSTMASTER ABROAD AGAIN.’
Pat {to Clerk). “ Surr ! I stnt TrN Shillings to me Bkother through
the Post, an’ he tills me”—(fuming)—“he niver got ’t ! ! ”
Clerk [calmly). “ At what Office did you get the Order?”
Pat. “Shure, thin, it was to voursilf I gave the Money, an’ be
Jabers I’ve got yer Receipt for’t!” [Produces Money Order in a fiery.')
“Look at that, now! !”
DIARY OF A SABBATARIAN A LA MODE DE LONDRES.
Sunday, October 29.—Went to church, and found Ihe choir very imperfect
Made a note to write to the Rector about a new tenor that I heard at a pro-
prietary chapel.
Went to the Fogey Club and had lunch. Had occasion to complain of the
quality of the claret. Wrote several letters to the Daily Waterbutt in favour
of strict Sabbath observance—the closing of public-houses, the stoppage el
bands in the Park, the cessation of railway, postal, and telegraph service, &c
Read the money article in the Observer, and wrote to my Banker to buy
Egyptians, Turks, and other Infidel Stocks at present low quotations. Wrote
to my Member of Parliament to vote against the admission of Mr. Bradlaugh,
on pain of losing my vote and interest at the next election.
Dined at home, because the Sunday dinners at the Fogey Club are really too
unbearable. Dressed, and went to an evening party at Baron Midas’s. Several
royal personages were present, and, in their company, I enjoyed a very clever
performance by Madame Camembert, the French Actress, and her Company
Fancy I heard somebody say that the piece had been refused a public licence.
Glad that we have officials who know their duty, and do it. One was present
at this party. Found a difficulty in getting a cab when I left the house. Made
a note to complain to the Home Office of the disgraceful way in which the public
are neglected by Cabmen.__
An Echo of the Week.
A Reuter’s telegram in the Daily Telegraph on Friday, from Alexandria,
says:—
“ Sala Pasha, during his short stay here, has formed five companies of police of
110 men each.”
And all this time he is writing books, inditing columns of gossip for the
Illustrated News, countless leaders for the Daily Telegraph, taking the chair
at dinners and Societies, scampering about the world generally, and going to
see every new piece at the theatre. They may well call him “the versatile
and ubiquitous.”
221
Very odd how the good Baronet mixes up people and
things. But the strain on his mind is enormous. Highest
Authority in the House, who is sometimes startled by
finding Sir Charles forlornly wandering about distant
oorridors, suggested he might wear a cloth-cap which
he could put in his pocket. But Sir Charles says he is
sure he’d put it in somebody else’s, and it would come to
the same thing. “ No,” he says, with a far-away look in
his eye. “ Man and boy, I ’ve been looking for my hat
for thirty years, and I ’ll go on—I’ll go on.”
Business clone— Mr. Gibson’s Amendment moved.
Wednesday.—Most affecting scene in the House to-
day. Lord Randolph came out in new character.
Hitherto has found the Present and the Past sufficient
for the searchings of his great mind. Now takes the
Future under his wing, and comes out as a Seer.
Solemnly warns Conservative Party of what is in store
for them. They will curse the day on which they were
betrayed. “ Aye,” says Lord Randolph, raising a pro-
phetic hand, and bending a glowering glance on the
shrinking form of Sir Stafford, “and the Leader who
betrayed them! ”
Drummond Wolef, who has a proper pride in his
Leader, says, “Reminds me of the warning given to
Lochiel before the fatal day: ‘ Lochiel, Lochiel,
beware of the day, When the Lowlands shall meet thee
in battle array ! ’ and that sort of thing, doncha know'?”
Drummond says with glistening eye and heightened
colour.
Certainly is something in that style, though don’t
remember myself ever to have seen a Seer with his hair
parted in the middle, carefully oiled, and brought to in
little bows at the forehead. As far as hair goes, Caven-
dish Bentinck or Mr. Forster would do the Seer better.
Also, Randolph might learn a lesson from Mr. Chaplin
when arranging his features on these occasions, and in
manipulating his voice. The troubled brow, the drooped
lips, the humid eye of Mr. Chaplin, combined with low
and solemn tones tremulous with suppressed emotion,
are recommended to Randolph’s attention next time
he comes out as a prophet. Also, he really must rumple
his hair.
Business done.—Conservative Party Warned.
Thursday.— More speeches to-night, though everyone
admits the thing is thrashed out.
“Wish the Speakers were, too,” says Lord Richard
Grosvenor, with yawn as long as list of Amendments
to First Resolution. “ What do people want making
speeches ? Quite enough for a man to vote.”
One thing to be said is that if Members will speak,
others won’t listen. House empty all night till eleven
o’clock. Then Clans gather, Members turn up from
various places, far and near, Northcote makes gentle
little jokes of astronomical order, at which the House
genially laugh. Hartington makes strong straight
speech which would have been straighter and stronger
had it been shorter. Everything that can be said has
been said. Marquis observes. What use is unlimited
prolixity in debate ? Excellent idea, only might have
been expressed in less than forty minutes.
When Hartington sits down, Mr. Callan gracefully
rises, and is impartially howled at. Old joke this, to
wait till Leaders have wound up debate, and then ap-
pear. Riles the House, and temporarily makes you
personage of importance. Difficult to say which side
Mr. Callan declares for. Is very distinctly heard to
denounce “ this coercible Government.” After which
he sinks back gently, but firmly, on the crown of his
hat, which is coerced into flattened shape.
Business done.—Mr. Gibson’s Amendment rejected by
322 votes against 238.
Friday.—House nearly empty all night. Neverthe-
less, speeches made on various subjects more or less
nearly connected with Amendment before House. Irish
Members show signs of waking up.
Business done.—None.
Rival Nostrums.
To right human wrongs and make all the world well,
Would the world but attend, there are two would
have taught her:
“ Land for the People’s the cure! ” cries Parnell,
Whilst Richardson swears it is Water.
“THE POSTMASTER ABROAD AGAIN.’
Pat {to Clerk). “ Surr ! I stnt TrN Shillings to me Bkother through
the Post, an’ he tills me”—(fuming)—“he niver got ’t ! ! ”
Clerk [calmly). “ At what Office did you get the Order?”
Pat. “Shure, thin, it was to voursilf I gave the Money, an’ be
Jabers I’ve got yer Receipt for’t!” [Produces Money Order in a fiery.')
“Look at that, now! !”
DIARY OF A SABBATARIAN A LA MODE DE LONDRES.
Sunday, October 29.—Went to church, and found Ihe choir very imperfect
Made a note to write to the Rector about a new tenor that I heard at a pro-
prietary chapel.
Went to the Fogey Club and had lunch. Had occasion to complain of the
quality of the claret. Wrote several letters to the Daily Waterbutt in favour
of strict Sabbath observance—the closing of public-houses, the stoppage el
bands in the Park, the cessation of railway, postal, and telegraph service, &c
Read the money article in the Observer, and wrote to my Banker to buy
Egyptians, Turks, and other Infidel Stocks at present low quotations. Wrote
to my Member of Parliament to vote against the admission of Mr. Bradlaugh,
on pain of losing my vote and interest at the next election.
Dined at home, because the Sunday dinners at the Fogey Club are really too
unbearable. Dressed, and went to an evening party at Baron Midas’s. Several
royal personages were present, and, in their company, I enjoyed a very clever
performance by Madame Camembert, the French Actress, and her Company
Fancy I heard somebody say that the piece had been refused a public licence.
Glad that we have officials who know their duty, and do it. One was present
at this party. Found a difficulty in getting a cab when I left the house. Made
a note to complain to the Home Office of the disgraceful way in which the public
are neglected by Cabmen.__
An Echo of the Week.
A Reuter’s telegram in the Daily Telegraph on Friday, from Alexandria,
says:—
“ Sala Pasha, during his short stay here, has formed five companies of police of
110 men each.”
And all this time he is writing books, inditing columns of gossip for the
Illustrated News, countless leaders for the Daily Telegraph, taking the chair
at dinners and Societies, scampering about the world generally, and going to
see every new piece at the theatre. They may well call him “the versatile
and ubiquitous.”