Punch: Punch (89.1885)

234 PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [November 14, 1885.

SANCTA SIMPLICITAS!

Mamma. "Dun't stand idling there, Tommy! Why don't you read f&kifca sometime* ! Look at dear Papa, bs hasn't
Mrca time for Reading ; but whenever he's got a spare moment or two, he takes a French Book out of his Pockec and
reads ir—just to ksrp up his French, you kxow!" [Dear Papa is much tickled, but keeps his amusevient to himself.

« NOT FOR JOE ! "

(An Old Song by a New Singer.)

I am the Boy from Brummagem, / know a thing or two;

But if at anything I'm good, 'tis putting on the screw.

For Joseph is my Christian nam°, and wheresoe'er I go
I give them all to understand they won't get over Joe.

Chorus—I'm wide awake, make no mistake,

As all the world shall know;

And if they try it on with me,

I tell them—Not for Joe !

I'm up behind the Liberal 'Bus, the driver's name is Bill,

A Whip of long experience, a Jehu of some skill.

But as regards the Passengers, that's my ooncern you know,
If doubtful fares will try it on, I tell them—Not for Joe I
Chorus—0 dear no, not for Joe I

Not for Joseph, 0 dear no!

Hi! All the way! Step in I Step in! That is my usual cry,

But a curious-looking Customer I notice standing by,

I know him well, and as a Fare, I've found him not to pay,

For he's always grumbling at the pace, and won't go " All the way."

Chorus—1 'm wide awake, &c.

No friend of mine, this ticklish fare, a fidget, full of fright,

When in his seat, at the first " spurt," he's anxious to alight.
He hails me now. " An inside place this time," says he, "you know."
Says I, " I'm truly grateful, but excuse me—Not for Joe !
Chorus—0 dear no, not for Joe ! &c.

He does not pay at any price; he makes no end of fuss,

And only very recently almost upset the 'Bus.

He chivied Will and me, yet, after rounding on us so,

He hails us for another ride. That will not do for Joe I
Chorus—0 dear no, not for Joe ! &c.

Go it, young Randolph ! _ Tout away! He doesn't like your line,
But on the whole I fancy it will suit him more than mine.

I like to put the pace oil, and to pick my Fart s. He's slow,

And a jolly sight too critical, eo he '11 never do for Joe I
Chorus—0 dear no, not for Job ! &e.

T don't quite know what Bill will say. He's far too easy, Bill.
Wish I was Whip, I'd faster tool, and yet with equal skill.

But if he takes too mixed a lot, I '11 cut the 'Bus, and go.

Other Conductors he may try; the place won't do for Joe !
Chorus—0 dear no, not for Joe ! &c.

Bang I Right behind I What's that Bill says ?. I hope I've not
done wrong.

Some say I'm ruining the 'Bus. That's coming it too strong;
At any rate, I '11 chance it. " Cut along, Bill ! Domino ! "

If he will take such Fares, he must; but he '11 haveto part witlf Joe.
Chorus—I'm wide awake, make no mistake,

At least I fancy so.

Must the 'Bus crawl for G-sch-n's sake ?
My answer's—" Not for Joe ! "

WHAT WILL THEY DO WITH-IT?

In the centre of that triangular space in the new " Place,"—where
now the Metropolitan Board of Works is represented by a Black
Board, which, at present, a board of words, and not of works,
might be utilised from time to time for displaying diagrams, drawing
problems in Euclid, for sketches of models (By J. Clothes-Horsley,
R. A.), and sums in arithmetic, in fact, put generally to such al fresco
all-freeschool uses that those who don't run may stop and learn some-
thing gratis,—Mr. Punch, as The Yery First Commissioner of Public
Works and Chief iEdile for the Metropolis, suggests that the statue
of General Gordon should be erected. The site is unique : so was
the Hero of Khartoum. What is the opinion of our Roval Academi-
cians ? Is there any just oause or impediment ? What do our
First Commissioner and the " Busy B." Mitfobd say ? There will
be no opposition on the part of the Thorneycrofters.. Is there any on
the part of the Metropolitan Board of Works ?