Punch (98.1890)

June 28, 1890.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 309

THE LADIES' YEAR.

[Miss Margaret Alford {of Girton) Niece of sclwlarly Dean Alford, is
announced in one of the four '' Senior Classics " at Cambridge]
"A Dbeam of Pair Women "—who shine in the Schools,
Ine Muse should essay ere her ardour quite cools.
Come, bards, take your lyres and most carefully tune 'em,
*or Girton m glory now pairs off with Newnham.
Miss x awcett the latter with victory wreathed,
And now, ere the males from their marvel are breathed,
Miss Mabsaeet Alfoed, the niece of the Dean,
As a Classical Eirst for the former is seen.
Let Girton toast Newnham, and Newnham pledge Girton,
And—let male competitors put a brisk "spurt" on,
Lest when modern Minerva adds learning to grace,
Young Apollo should find himself out of the race 1

OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.

" The Gentle Art of making Enemies, as pleasantly exemplified
in many instances," &c, &c. (for full title see the book itself) is,
whatever " Messieurs les Ennemis " may think of it, a work of rare
humour. Of course you must first of all be interested in King

James and his
subjects, — his
principal subject
being himself,
(and lucky the
man who oan
commandhimself)
—and you must
wish to know the
story of his rights
and wrongs; then
this interest and
desire being taken
for granted, the
book of the but-
terfly is a thing of
beauty and a joy
for now and ever.
The heads are
epigrammatic and
the tails sprightly,
and both emin-
ently characteris-
tic, for the heads
tell their own
tales, and the tails
in tadpolian
scheme are the
outcome of the
heads. Most of the
waggery is in
The Mephistophelian Whistlerian Butterfly " On the these tailpieces,
Pounce " at Antwerp. which, one and all

of them, represent

the real Whistlerian spirit, " the Familiar " of Etcheb James, that is
the Demoniacal Butterfly "in various aspics," as Mrs. Malapeop might
Bay. Does the Butterfly's Master address "Messieurs les Ennemis,"
the Familiar Spirit is all politeness, with head down and wings out-
stretched saluting before coming to " on guard." Does Master "rid
himself of the friendship of the many ? "—the little Demon shakes a reef
out of his tail and flies upwards, to return after a short flight of fancy.
On occasions when Master has been reflecting comically and satirically
on some of his attackers, or on his detractors, the volatile Imp
literally shakes his sides with uncontrollable laughter, and can't
stand upright for very mirth. The famous "Ten o'clock" which
has been immortalised by Mr. Punch as the " Ten-and-sixpenny
o'clock," in consequence of the tickets being half-a-guinea apiece,
is here reprinted. Pbospebo Whistles packs up his bag of tricks,
buries his wand, makes his bow with a little speech at a testimonial
dinner given to him by his friends, and the Familiar Demon Butter-
fly, free at last, darts into space, leaves "Finis" below,—then, you
turn over the page, all is blank,—Magician and Familiar have
vanished!

David Stott, not of Oldham, but_ of Oxford Street, publishes
dainty little pocket volumes, and here is one yclept Essays or Coun-
sels of Francis Bacon. " Put it in the bag!" says the Baron, " and
let it be my travelling companion, so that,_ whenever I want refresh-
ment I may feed on Bacon, that many-sided philosopher." It is a
wonderfully handy volume, tastefully and substantially bound, and
its type of the very clearest. Much-occupied men, who can only
snatch here a moment and there a moment for reading, ought to be
grateful to the inventors and the publishers of all handy books,

meaning, says the Baron, books which are really handy, and which,
without destroying the natural elegance of your figure or the set of
your garments, you can carry comfortably and imperceptibly in your
tail coat pocket.

Notes from the News. By James Payn. (Chatto and Windtjs.)
Notes on passing events of all sorts, spiced with capital stories, which
will indeed be a big capital to be drawn upon by the dining-out
raconteur,—the only thing against his present success being that
most persons will have read these stories in The Illustrated London
News or in this volume. It is a book for the weary work-all-day man
to dip into, and to come out of it again refreshed. When in doubt as
to what light reading to take up, the Baron advises, "Take Patn s.

Babon de Book-Woems.

P.S.—My faithful " Co." has been revelling in the Summer Holi-
day Number of All The Year Bound, whioh consists of a complete
story entitled, A Mist of Error, by Mart Angela Dickens. The
authoress is the granddaughter ot the great novelist, and the daughter
of his son, the most popular of editors, and the best of good fellows.
My "Co." reports, that the novelette is full of promise, and is a
proof that literary genius is hereditary. Interesting from the first
page to the last, A Mist of Error, in spite of its title, is never
suggestive of a fog.—My faithful " Co." is also delighted with Men
of the Time Birthday Booh, compiled by Mr. J. F. Botes, F.S.A.—
a charming little Volume that everyone will be proud to possess.
He prophesies that it will be one of the most popular of Birthday
Books, and congratulates its compiler on the production of a work of
distinct historical value.

A GREAT GUNN.

[Gunn, the great Notts' Batsman, playing for the Players of England
against the Australians at Lords, on June 19 and 20, made 228 runs, the
highest individual score ever made in this country against the Australians.]

Such calm, graceful batting, of funk as defiant,
As proof against flurry, deserved the crowd's roar.

'Twas Cricket, indeed, when the Nottingham Giant,
Against the best batting, piled up that huge score;

And the crowd as they watched him smite, play, block, or run,
Could grasp the full meaning of " Sure as a Gunn I "

ROBERT AT THE LEATHERSELLERS'.

We had been so preshus busy at " the Grand Hotel" lately, that
I hadn't seen werry much of my deer old Citty. but larst week I
was arsked for to go and offishyate there at the jolly Leathersellers
Company's Grand Dinner, as they was about to have a very distangy
Party including one of our most sellybrated Hartist's, who's that
poplar that ewerybody calls him 'Aeet instead of 'Eneet, as must
in course have been the name as his godmothers and godfathers gav
him when he was quite young and had his fust taste of a cold Bath,
and most probberbly didn't like it.

So I went accordingly, and a werry scrumpshus Bankwet they
had, includin them trewly Royal luxeries '80 Shampane and '47
Port! Ah! what a thing it must be to be a Royal or a Nobel
persson, and to live on all the Fat of the Land, and wash it all down
with, nothink yunger than '80 shampain and '47 Port! And no
matter where you gos, or weather it's to lay down a Fust Stone, or
toIHopen a Hexibishun, or to take a Chair at a nobel Charity Dinner,
there it is all reddy for you, and a hole crowd of Peeple a watching
you a eating and a drinking of 'em, and a thanking you artily for
taking the trubble of doing so I Ah! I sumtimes werrily beleeves
as that my nateral tastes tells me as I was horiginally hintended
for sum such useful life myself!

Well, arter the Bankwet of course we had all the reglar gushing
speeches, and werry bewtifool but rather lengthy they was, but
presently a sumthink appened as more estonished me praps than
any think as has appened to me for some time past.

The hartistick and poplar Gent as ewerybody calls Aeet Fuenace
was called upon to return thanks for Hart, when to my intense
estonishment, and ewerybody else's emusement, he aoshally said as
how as his trend "Robeet," seeing how garstly pale he turned
when he was told wot he wood have to do, bad writ down for him
6 lines of most bewtifool Poetry, whioh he at wunce proceeded to
recite, and sat down amid enthusiastick cheers and shouts of larf ter!
Seeing my look of puzzled surprise, he kindly turned round to me
and said, " Look here, Robeet, as I 've rather taken a libberty with
your honnerd name, I '11 repay you by taking another with your
well-known features," and borrowing a bewtifool pencil of me, that
I had bort the day before for a penny, he acshally sketched three
likenesses of me in his Book of the Songs, and giving it to me, said,
with his merry laugh, " There, I hope that will console you for my
bit of harmless fun;" and from what I was offered, for my three
sketches when I showed 'em about, after he was gone, I thinks, that
upon the whole, I got a werry good share of the larf on my own side
of the mouth. Robebt.