Punch (100.1891)

January 21, 1891.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

47

STILL ANOTHER CHAPTER OF MY MEMOIR.

(In Supplement of "Harper.")
By Monsieur Van de Blowitzown Tromp.

forget at this moment where I
was born, bat I lived long
enough at Marseilles to be mar-
ried in that great southern
Trench city. My wife's father
had been in the Marines; her
uncle (on the grandfather's side)
had been a Sapeur pompier.
Thus did I, as it were, become
lie with the sea and land forces
of my adopted country. My
wife's mother was a descendant
of a noble but anonymous family
in the Vosges, whilst her mater-
nal uncle was accustomed to
attach to himself some local
unpopularity by proferring for
investigation a complicated sheet
which set forth his genealogy,
tracing his origin back to the
Bourbons.

You ask me which Bourbon ?
I frankly answer, I cannot tell.
My wife's maternal uncle spoke
of them as "<Ae Bourbons," just
as you talk of " the Groceries,"
and no one asks you Lequel?
As for my own ancestry, I do not speak of it. I have never been in the habit
of thrusting myself on the attention of the public. It is sufficient for me that
my wife's maternal uncle's ancestors were Bourbons.

I first began to take charge of public affairs in connection with an election
that took place in the city where I found myself. M. de LESSFrs opposed
Thiers and Gambetta. He presented himself as an independent candidate.
Was he ? I suspected. Already I had my secret agents in every centre of
population. One, whose letter bore the post-mark the Pyramids, placed in
my hand proof that De Lesseps was an official candidate of the Empire. I
secretly conveyed this information to a local newspaper. The news burst like
a tempest on the public of Marseilles, and swept away in its irresistible whirl
the candidature of M. de Lesseps.

This was pretty well for a first newspaper paragraph, worth at the time, as I
remember thinking, more than the paltry three sous a line that became my due.
But I had made more than a few sous—I had made an enemy ! Years after,
Bismarck told me how, chatting with Napoleon the Third at Donchery,
that fallen monarch had recalled this incident, in which his prophetic eye
justly discerned the beginning of the end. He admitted that he had said to
the Empress, "France is too small for me and Van de Blowdz.avn Tromp.
One of us must cross la 3Ianche."
Sublime! One of us did.

But my time was not yet. My friends advised, nay, besought me to leave
Marseilles. Towards the end of this year (1809) I took their advice, and retired
to a small property I chanced to have in the centre of the Landes. This
place being dry, and somewhat remote, was peculiarly suitable for watching
the growth of great problems with a mind unbiassed by any knowledge of
facts. I saw the Franco-German question grow, and I foresaw how it would
end. I wrote to Thiers, and told him all about it. "When the war broke out
I mounted my stilts, and cautiously made my way across the untrodden track,
following my Destiny. I had predicted the downfall of the Empire, and, in
its last gasp, the Empire strove to wither me. Proceedings had been com-
menced, when Sedan put an end to them.

At this epoch France was on her knees, beaten down by the German hand,
her eyes blind with blood and tears. One thing alone could cheer her. I cjuld
do it, and I did. I applied for Letters of Naturalisation. Some weeks later I

became a French citizen, and received a letter from M.
Adolph Cremleux, then Minister of Justice, and never
suspected of being a wag. He wrote: "Your applica-
tion for Naturalisation in the midst of our great disasters,
is for me the signal of a new life for us. A country
which in the midst of such catastrophes recruits citizens
like you, is not to be despaired of."

Years after, Thiers, then President of the Republic,
said, " I never will forget that you became a Frenchman
in the time of our misfortunes." Edmund About pic-
turesquely said, "s'est fait naturaliser vaincu,"
Bismarck has told me that the Emperor "William, then
at Versailles, in the first flush of triumph at touch on
his brow of the Imperial diadem, hearing of the event
through the capturing of a balloon despatched with the
news to dolorous Paris, passed a sleepless night.

" I fear me," he said, " all will now be lost."

"Not at all, your Majesty," said Bismarck, affecting
an indifference he assures me he did not feel. "There
is not even a Frenchman the more. They have lost an
Emperor and gained Van de Blowitzown Tromp. Ce
met ec/al."

"]Sot quite," Baid the Emperor, with subtle flattery.
The Emperor "William, though he had his failings, was
a keen judge of the comparative value of men.

The limits of this article compel me to glance hastily
over succeeding epochs in a career with the main drift
of which the civilised world is already familiar. After
saving Marseilles to the Republic, by a series of actions
alternating bet ween desperate valour and brilliant strategy,
I went to Paris to report on the great event. Calling
on the official entrusted with the duty of considering
claims to decorations, I began at once by saying that
my own name mutt not be taken into consideration.

"Let my name," I said, gently but firmly, "be scored
out in the proposed list of decorations."

" Mais, Monsieur,'11 he said, " there is no such list."

I, however, was not to be put off with excuse of that
kind. I insisted, both to the Secretary of the Minister
of War, to M. Thiers, that I should not be decorated. I
was only too successful. When the list came out, all my
associates at Marseilles were decorated. I was not in-
cluded. This was all right. It was what I had requested.
I could say nothing. All the same, I could not help
thinking that my advice had been too literally accepted.

Every morning, for a week after, I called on M. Thiers.
At the end of the sixth day he said, " You must go to
Riga. I do not quite know where it is, but it sounds
remote. You shall be Consul at Riga." I was delighted.
Like the President, I was not sure where Riga was ; but
the salary was certain, and there was fine old Roman
flavour about the title Consul.

But it was not to be. I was predestined to be a great
Newspaper Correspondent. How that came about cannot
be told in this chapter. I will only say that early in my
new career I secured the approbation of Mr. Delane,
who, I need scarcely say, was the most competent judge
the world ever saw of the merits of a journalist.

At the risk of being dry and bald, I have confined
myself to telling accurately what has happened, my
greatest ambition being to leave no one the chance of
misrepresenting, as his whim, fancy, or passion may
dictate, facts in which I am so deeply interested. Let
those note them who, after my time, have to defend my
memory should it ever be attacked.

The Shinntr Quartette ; " or, Musical Football.

"More Honoured in the Breach than the
Observance."—Breach of Promise cases—as a rule.