Punch (103.1892)

August 27, 1892.]

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

87

IN OFFICE WITH THE
LABOUR YOTE.

(How to deal with an Awk-
ward Matter, according to
Precedent.)

Scene—A Smoking-Room
and Lounge. Eminent
Statesman discovered
filling a pipe. Private
Secretary in attendance.

Em. S. Now I think
all's ready to begin.
Mind, my lad, and have
the tea and decanters in
readiness when I ring for
them. Enough chairs ?

Pri. Sec. Only half-a-
dozen expected, Sir; so I
thought if I got six that
would be enough.

Em. S. Quite so. And
now, my dear fellow, show
in the Deputation.

[Private Secretary opens
door, when enter several
Workmen in their Sun-
day best, headed by
Fussy M.P.

Fussy 31. P. [with effu-
sion ). My dear Sir, this is
a great pleasure. I hope I
see you well. (Shakes the
hand of Eminent States-
man with profuse cor-
diality.) And now, if you
will allow me, I will intro-
duce these Delegates. It
would have pleased them
better if they could have
had an Autumn Session,
but they are quite pre-
pared to be satisfied with
an interview, as it is in the
Recess. [Speaking in the
soft tones of the House at
Westminster.) Sir ! My
Right Hon. Friend! It is
my privilege as well as my
duty— a most pleasant one
—to introduce what I may
aptly declare to be the
most representative body
of men it has ever been
my good fortune to meet.

I, my dear Sir-

Em. S. (interrupting).
Thank you very much, but I fancy we can get on bette-r by talking
it over quietly. It's very hot, so if you don't mind, I will take
off my coat and sit in my shirt-sleeves. [Removes his coat.

Fussy M.P. (taken aback). My dear Sir !

Members of the Deputation. Thankee, Sir! We '11 follow suit.

[They remove their coats. can get an idea of what you really

Em. S. Now you would like to \^£(lf ^ want, you can do nothing —nor

smoke? Well, my Private Secre- /r-'^Mk' Kw i* 4 can I. So now, if you have another

tary will hand round cigars, cigar- J^^^^ 4_df <Xf appointment to keep, please don't

ettes, and tobacco. Don't be shv, ^ ^ . let me detain you. All I can wish

Consider my house Liberty Hail. A /^^T^^^^t T0VL1 do wisa yotl* May you a11

Well, tell me —what's it all ^ Mjk%L MM pr°SPfr ™ 7 uTundertaMngs* And

First Mem. of Dep. (pointing to ^jjS4* f^/^^mf^^^^^^^^^i ^i^KS^^B ^rst Mem' WeU» Sir» if y°u
Fussy 31. P.) Why he said as how /' ^M^SAMlwf^A -rMsa1 Y] Wr^J V!on,t see us any m(>re, good-bye!

he would do all the speaking. I |/f9^ri^qH^^^>^^^(^^WI^S 4\\\\ifl Em' S' Good-bye! Mind the

Em. S. Yery likely, and doit VW ^Br//^rl^^m J§M^stePs! Good-bye! [The Deputa-

(bowing to him) very well. But I \ N§k" ^J^C ^rl:;^wlf tion leave- Eminent Statesman

would far rather that you should \ turns his attention to other matters

speak for yourselves. Come let us V^^^K^^M with a smile of satisfaction.

meet as old friends. Now—what ^^^^^^^j^p^^^iW JiliSMf T1'' VI 0.111^^ ^^f^55^— -^-^"S^^^^ --

dCSecond Mem. of Dep. Why, Sir, «L J^^^S^^^^\vl ^ m^^^^Ajtk "Excelsior! or Straight Up!"

if you put it in that pleasant way, f^ZMmm 'ffikSms- LJ ~ Sir Douglas Straight was

I may say, payment for hours of ^J^^W^MW 'jL ^ s^m^ldJWfW'^ knighted last week. N.B.—Would

labour put in by some one else. ^j^-^^^m^ ^^^^^^^ have been mentioned earlier, if we

Em. S. Yes, very good. Capital <*S£ss*-- tad had the straight tip.

NEVER SATISFIED.

Grumpy Husband. "How badly informed Newspapers are! Why, here
they say, ' Sir Thomas Grimsby entertained us and a number of others
at Dinner last night 1' Entertained ! why, I never was so Bored in
my Life ! "

notion. But how are you
to manage it p

Third 3Iem. of Dep.
(roughly). That's your
business, and not ours.
We tell you what we want,
and you have to carry out
our wishes.

Em. S. (smiling). You
mean the wishes of your
class—your order ?

Second Mem. Well,
that's about it. We do
represent them. Why we
are sent to you by over
100,000!

Em. S. And what is the
full complement of your
combined trades ?

Second Mem. About nine
millions, but that has no-
thing to do with it.

Em. S. With it! Do
with what ?

First 3fem. of Dep. Why,
what we require, Right
Hon. Sir—what we require!
Em. S. (amiably). And

that is-?

First Mem. of Dep. (tri-
umphantly). On, you must
tell us that! It is not our
place, but yours—see ?

Em. S. Not exactly.
But will you not join me ?
(Offers cigarettes.) And
now let us get at the heart
of the question. Who is
to do your work for you ?

First Mem. of Dep.
[puffing at the tobacco).
Don't you think that could
be done by the Govern-
ment ?

Em. S. I don't know.
I am delighted to see you,
because it is with your as-
sistance that I propose
mastering the details of
the matter. But you really
must help me.

Second Mem. of Dep.
(taken aback). But, I say,
Sir, is this quite fair ? We
are accustomed to put up
someone such as he (point-
ing to the Fussy M.P.), and
leave it to him to do all the
talking.

Em. S. Yes, I know the old-fashioned plan; but I prefer the
new. Pray go on. How will you get your work done gratuitously ?

Fourth Mem. Oh, come! That's putting it a little too strong !
We are not accustomed to it. What does it all mean ?
Em. S. I think I can answer you. My good friends, until you