DOI Heft:
October 22, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0191
186
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[OcroBEB 22, 1892.'
PIMM
THE HEIGHT OF EXCLUSIVENESS.
Miss Prunes. 'Ah, Doctor, these High Schools are sadly mixed ! But, under my care, I can assure you that your
little Ward will associate with Daughters of Gentlemen only!"
The Doctor. "That, Madam, is to be Select indeed; since I belteve Pallas Athene alone fulfilled such a condition.'
{For pedigree of Pallas Athene vide Classical Dictionary—Art. "Minerva."
COLUMBUS.
Columbus ! We read of Mm every day,
In books, pamphlets, magazines, papers;
Whilst Italy, Portugal, Spain, U.S.A.,
Cut constant, consecutive capers.
They started last
month with re-
views on the
main;
On the land with
processions—a
quaint row.
Suchthe/ei!es, aptly
called by the
French " Fetes de
Genes"
Fait accompli, good
luck, ca nous gene
trop !
But never say die ; now Huelva goes on,
New York follows, steady and sober,
And Chicago makes ready for more derned,
dog gone
Fetes to last till, at least, next October !
Columbus, your search for a sort of New Cut
Was meant for the best, we don't doubt it;
No harm in discovering Continents, but
You might have said nothing about it.
Still, had you not found a location for clam,
Canvas back, buckwheat cakes, we should
sorter t
Have missed the acquaintance of 'cute Uncle
Sam,
And his fearless, free, fragile, fair daughter.
Columbus ! The newspapers never will drop
This subject; we wish, as months roll on,
Some common bacillus had put a full stop
Long ago to Don Christobal Colon !
" ANECDOTAGE."
Companion Paragraphs to Stories of the same hind.
Sir Walter Scott was never so well
pleased as when meeting a brother author.
One day he passed by a gauger, who was so
careless in his duties that the author of
Waverley] was able to smuggle into Edin-
burgh some whiskey that was supposed never
to have paid duty. On reaching Abbots-
ford, "the Wizard of the North " was in-
formed that he had met one of the greatest
poets of North Britain. " So I suspected,"
he replied. "It must have been Burns."
Sir Walter was right—it was Burns.
Pitt, the younger, and Fox were both fond
of port wine, and lost no opportunity of indulg-
ing in their favourite beverage. Meeting at
Crockford's one evening, Pitt (being in
straitened circumstances) proposed that they
should play for a bottle of sherry. '' No," said
Fox, " if I must lose, I will lose in Claret!'' and
the rival Statesmen succumbed to intoxication.
Wilberforce, the well-known philan-
thropist, was accustomed to visit the prisons.
At Newgate one day he met a well-known
forger, and asked him '' What he was in
for?" "Forthe same reason that you are
out," was the smart, but uncourteous reply.
NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE
ENGLISH POLICE.
{Freely Adapted from the Irish Rules.)
1. Constables who are required to inter-
fere in a street-row must have fourteen days'
notice before they can
be expected on the spot
of the disturbance.
2. Policemen will
parade the streets from
12 a.m. to 4 p.m., but will
make themselves scarce
in the event of meeting
a party procession, or
noticing the holding of a
public demonstration.
3. Hyde Park, Trafal-
gar Square, and all other
fashionable trysting-
places, shall be considered without the sphere
of Police influence at times of political
excitement.
4. Constables shall not congregate on land
set apart for workmen's gatherings, except
to organise strikes amongst themselves.
5. The labours of the Police shall not com-
mence before sunrise, or continue after sun-
set ; and it will be left to the sagacity of the
Public to guard their own property during
the hours that the Constables are off duty.
6. In the absence of the Civil Power, it
will be considered contrary to professional
etiquette for any respectable member of the
criminal classes to carry on his unimpeded
vocation,
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
[OcroBEB 22, 1892.'
PIMM
THE HEIGHT OF EXCLUSIVENESS.
Miss Prunes. 'Ah, Doctor, these High Schools are sadly mixed ! But, under my care, I can assure you that your
little Ward will associate with Daughters of Gentlemen only!"
The Doctor. "That, Madam, is to be Select indeed; since I belteve Pallas Athene alone fulfilled such a condition.'
{For pedigree of Pallas Athene vide Classical Dictionary—Art. "Minerva."
COLUMBUS.
Columbus ! We read of Mm every day,
In books, pamphlets, magazines, papers;
Whilst Italy, Portugal, Spain, U.S.A.,
Cut constant, consecutive capers.
They started last
month with re-
views on the
main;
On the land with
processions—a
quaint row.
Suchthe/ei!es, aptly
called by the
French " Fetes de
Genes"
Fait accompli, good
luck, ca nous gene
trop !
But never say die ; now Huelva goes on,
New York follows, steady and sober,
And Chicago makes ready for more derned,
dog gone
Fetes to last till, at least, next October !
Columbus, your search for a sort of New Cut
Was meant for the best, we don't doubt it;
No harm in discovering Continents, but
You might have said nothing about it.
Still, had you not found a location for clam,
Canvas back, buckwheat cakes, we should
sorter t
Have missed the acquaintance of 'cute Uncle
Sam,
And his fearless, free, fragile, fair daughter.
Columbus ! The newspapers never will drop
This subject; we wish, as months roll on,
Some common bacillus had put a full stop
Long ago to Don Christobal Colon !
" ANECDOTAGE."
Companion Paragraphs to Stories of the same hind.
Sir Walter Scott was never so well
pleased as when meeting a brother author.
One day he passed by a gauger, who was so
careless in his duties that the author of
Waverley] was able to smuggle into Edin-
burgh some whiskey that was supposed never
to have paid duty. On reaching Abbots-
ford, "the Wizard of the North " was in-
formed that he had met one of the greatest
poets of North Britain. " So I suspected,"
he replied. "It must have been Burns."
Sir Walter was right—it was Burns.
Pitt, the younger, and Fox were both fond
of port wine, and lost no opportunity of indulg-
ing in their favourite beverage. Meeting at
Crockford's one evening, Pitt (being in
straitened circumstances) proposed that they
should play for a bottle of sherry. '' No," said
Fox, " if I must lose, I will lose in Claret!'' and
the rival Statesmen succumbed to intoxication.
Wilberforce, the well-known philan-
thropist, was accustomed to visit the prisons.
At Newgate one day he met a well-known
forger, and asked him '' What he was in
for?" "Forthe same reason that you are
out," was the smart, but uncourteous reply.
NEW REGULATIONS FOR THE
ENGLISH POLICE.
{Freely Adapted from the Irish Rules.)
1. Constables who are required to inter-
fere in a street-row must have fourteen days'
notice before they can
be expected on the spot
of the disturbance.
2. Policemen will
parade the streets from
12 a.m. to 4 p.m., but will
make themselves scarce
in the event of meeting
a party procession, or
noticing the holding of a
public demonstration.
3. Hyde Park, Trafal-
gar Square, and all other
fashionable trysting-
places, shall be considered without the sphere
of Police influence at times of political
excitement.
4. Constables shall not congregate on land
set apart for workmen's gatherings, except
to organise strikes amongst themselves.
5. The labours of the Police shall not com-
mence before sunrise, or continue after sun-
set ; and it will be left to the sagacity of the
Public to guard their own property during
the hours that the Constables are off duty.
6. In the absence of the Civil Power, it
will be considered contrary to professional
etiquette for any respectable member of the
criminal classes to carry on his unimpeded
vocation,