DOI Heft:
October 29, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0203
198 PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. [October 29, 1892.
(
STUDIES IN CONTINENTAL PERSPECTIVE.
A Duet for, Tenor and Bass.
"SQUARED!"
A Song of a Settlement.
Air—" The Death of Nelson:'
Eecitative.
Near, Nelson's monument, -with gloom
opprest,
The rowdy mourns a Question, now at rest.
But Asquith's laurels shall not fade with
years,
Whose canny settlement the public cheers.
Air.
'Twas in Trafalgar's Square,
We heard the spouters blare,
Each rough rejoicing then.
They scorned churl Warren's yoke,
Of order made a joke,
And claimed the Rights of Men.
But Asquith came, the cool and brave,
And poured oil on the troubled wave.
His speech was just a beauty !
Along each line this meaning ran :—
" England respects true Rignts of Man,
But means enforcing Duty."
No more rude mobs may roar,
A nuisance and a bore,
Where'er Burns lead the way.
As victory is this claimed
By spouts, by cool sense tamed ?
All right! Let them hooray!
But dearly is their conquest bought,!
'Twas scarce for this mad Graham fought
'Tis fair, though—there's its beauty.
All just claims met by this shrewd plan,
The speechifying Rights of Man,
Plus the Policeman's duty.
Asquith's clear, certain sound,
Will spread dismay around!
Some circles. " We believed'
Asquith was on our side,"
The roughs will say. " He's tried,
And we—well, we're deceived.
If we 're permitted in this Square
To muster there, why should we care ?
The game has lost its beauty !
Licence unfettered is our plan.
Who cares a cuss for Rights of Man,
Checked by that bugbear Duty ? "
PRESENTED AT COURT.
Mr. Punch, Sir,
I am indignant—disgusted! I went
last night to see a new piece, called The
Guardsman, at the Court Theatre, the plot
of which, reminded me—'tis merely a coin-
cidence—of Incognita, now going strong in
St. Martin's Lane. The coincident being that
a certain young man won't marry an uncertain
young lady whom they want him to marry, be-
cause he is in love with quite another young
lady (as he thinks) who (the incognita) turns
out to be the very lady whom he is required to
wed, However, that's not what I'm writing
about. I leave criticism to your " professional
gent." Well, Sir, it was very_amusing: and
very well acted. But from a military point of
view, shameful, Sir!—shameful! The people
about me were laughing, and said that the
lines were good; that, take it all round, it
ought to be a success; that it was most
amusing. But how could I appreciate any-
thing when I found a Captain in the Guards,
on the Queen's Birthday, walking about in
plain leather boots! It was as bad, in my
mind, as when Mr. Charles Warner, in
the piece called In the Hanks, appeared as a
private in the same distinguished Regiment
in patent leathers! And what was the Cap-
tain doing, Sir, in mess uniform at his uncle's
chambers, when he was supposed to be on
guard at the Tower ? At least so I under-
stood him to be, but I may have been wrong.
At any rate, an odd sort of place to dine at,
if he was not on duty, and if he were, he
should not have left his post. Moreover,
where was his scarf, as orderly officer ? But
perhaps he was not on duty, and had dropped
in upon the mess (in the height of the Season!)
in a friendly sort of way. Well, that might
explain matters a bit, but not to my entire
satisfaction. And my wife tells me that it
is rather late to make alterations in a Court
dress the day before the Drawing-Room. And
she says, too, that she has never been hustled
and crushed when she has gone to Bucking-
ham Palace. And if it comes to that, Sir,
I have accompanied her, and can vouch for
the strict accuracy of the statement. But
these are minor matters. What I cannot
stand are The Guardsman's boots !
Yours more in anger than in sorrow,
An Old Soldier.
Mars Lodge, Cutsaddleborough,
Tomatki7ishire.
Rhymes for the Times.
If I were a missionary
On the plains of Uganda,
17 d leave that position airy
Ere, at dawn, anew 'gan day.
Question for a Dickensian Examination
Paper.—"Here's Pip—Ask Pip. Pip's our
mutual friend." In which of Dickens's
Novels does this occur ?
(
STUDIES IN CONTINENTAL PERSPECTIVE.
A Duet for, Tenor and Bass.
"SQUARED!"
A Song of a Settlement.
Air—" The Death of Nelson:'
Eecitative.
Near, Nelson's monument, -with gloom
opprest,
The rowdy mourns a Question, now at rest.
But Asquith's laurels shall not fade with
years,
Whose canny settlement the public cheers.
Air.
'Twas in Trafalgar's Square,
We heard the spouters blare,
Each rough rejoicing then.
They scorned churl Warren's yoke,
Of order made a joke,
And claimed the Rights of Men.
But Asquith came, the cool and brave,
And poured oil on the troubled wave.
His speech was just a beauty !
Along each line this meaning ran :—
" England respects true Rignts of Man,
But means enforcing Duty."
No more rude mobs may roar,
A nuisance and a bore,
Where'er Burns lead the way.
As victory is this claimed
By spouts, by cool sense tamed ?
All right! Let them hooray!
But dearly is their conquest bought,!
'Twas scarce for this mad Graham fought
'Tis fair, though—there's its beauty.
All just claims met by this shrewd plan,
The speechifying Rights of Man,
Plus the Policeman's duty.
Asquith's clear, certain sound,
Will spread dismay around!
Some circles. " We believed'
Asquith was on our side,"
The roughs will say. " He's tried,
And we—well, we're deceived.
If we 're permitted in this Square
To muster there, why should we care ?
The game has lost its beauty !
Licence unfettered is our plan.
Who cares a cuss for Rights of Man,
Checked by that bugbear Duty ? "
PRESENTED AT COURT.
Mr. Punch, Sir,
I am indignant—disgusted! I went
last night to see a new piece, called The
Guardsman, at the Court Theatre, the plot
of which, reminded me—'tis merely a coin-
cidence—of Incognita, now going strong in
St. Martin's Lane. The coincident being that
a certain young man won't marry an uncertain
young lady whom they want him to marry, be-
cause he is in love with quite another young
lady (as he thinks) who (the incognita) turns
out to be the very lady whom he is required to
wed, However, that's not what I'm writing
about. I leave criticism to your " professional
gent." Well, Sir, it was very_amusing: and
very well acted. But from a military point of
view, shameful, Sir!—shameful! The people
about me were laughing, and said that the
lines were good; that, take it all round, it
ought to be a success; that it was most
amusing. But how could I appreciate any-
thing when I found a Captain in the Guards,
on the Queen's Birthday, walking about in
plain leather boots! It was as bad, in my
mind, as when Mr. Charles Warner, in
the piece called In the Hanks, appeared as a
private in the same distinguished Regiment
in patent leathers! And what was the Cap-
tain doing, Sir, in mess uniform at his uncle's
chambers, when he was supposed to be on
guard at the Tower ? At least so I under-
stood him to be, but I may have been wrong.
At any rate, an odd sort of place to dine at,
if he was not on duty, and if he were, he
should not have left his post. Moreover,
where was his scarf, as orderly officer ? But
perhaps he was not on duty, and had dropped
in upon the mess (in the height of the Season!)
in a friendly sort of way. Well, that might
explain matters a bit, but not to my entire
satisfaction. And my wife tells me that it
is rather late to make alterations in a Court
dress the day before the Drawing-Room. And
she says, too, that she has never been hustled
and crushed when she has gone to Bucking-
ham Palace. And if it comes to that, Sir,
I have accompanied her, and can vouch for
the strict accuracy of the statement. But
these are minor matters. What I cannot
stand are The Guardsman's boots !
Yours more in anger than in sorrow,
An Old Soldier.
Mars Lodge, Cutsaddleborough,
Tomatki7ishire.
Rhymes for the Times.
If I were a missionary
On the plains of Uganda,
17 d leave that position airy
Ere, at dawn, anew 'gan day.
Question for a Dickensian Examination
Paper.—"Here's Pip—Ask Pip. Pip's our
mutual friend." In which of Dickens's
Novels does this occur ?