DOI Heft:
November 12, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0226
November 12, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
221
But it's mean of Chal-
mers—I swear it is. He
ought not to have al-
lowed it. And then,
never to let on about
it to us. Well, my
day's spoilt, if they
come on with us after
wards. I couldn't shoot
an ostrich sitting with
a woman chattering to
me. Miss Chickweed's
got her eye on you,
Lloyd. She's marked
you. No g ood try i ng to
do a ramp. You 're
nailed, my boy, nailed !
Lloyd. Hang Miss
Chickweed ! She half
killed me last night
with all kinds of silly
questions. Asked me
to be sure and bring
her home a rocketing
rabbit, because she'd
heard they were very
valuable. Why can't the
women stay at home ?
\_They walk on moodily.
A few minutes later.
Lunch has just begun.
3Iiss Chickweed (mid-
dle-aged, but skittish).
Oh, you naughty men,
how long you have kept
us waiting ! Now, Cap-
tain Lloyd, did you
shoot really well ? Or,
were you thinking of
- Well, perhaps I
oughtn't to say. See
how discreet I am. But
do tell me, all of you,
exactly how many birds
you shot—I do so like
to hear about it. You
begin, Captain Lloyd.
How many did you
shoot P ( Without wait-
ing for an answer.)
I m sure you must
have shot a dozen. Yes,
I guess a dozen. And,
oh, do give me a feather
for my hat! It will be
so nice to have a real
feather to put in it.
And we've got such a
treat for you. Mary,
you tell them. No, I '11
tell them myself. If
you 're all very good at
lunch, we 're going to
walk with you a little
afterwards. There!
[But, at this awful pro-
spect, consternation
seizes the men . Chal-
mers (the host)
makes frantic signs
to his wife, who
(having, somehow,
been squared")
affects not to see.
A feio desperate
attempts are made
to express a polite
joy ; but the lunch
languishes, and
darkness closes over
the melancholy
scene.
THE VANISHING RUPEE.—A Cry from India.
A Colonel laments the disappearance of the Rupee, and shows how, whenever he had a step up in his Regiment (each time growing
in importance and having more calls on his purse), the Rupee at once took a step down, decreasing in importance and reputation.
I.-subaltern. ^-CAPTAIN.
A Naval Inquiry.—
The Howe and the why ?
As a " Sub," free from family ties, Raised to Captain's rank, it so fell out
With constant " fivers " from the Pater, I fell in love with the Station belle,*
The Rupee I thought a goodly size, Got spliced; the Rupee, at once, no doubt,
Though once its value was much greater. In spite, not in love, but value fell.
III.—Major. IV.—Colonel
^ipfc- M:.
Children came, money went, all U P, Cramming ! Schooling ! Bills by every post!
I thought, when promotion brought more pay But now, as Colonel, I think I see
(What luck !); but that slippery Rupee My way ; but I count without my host.
Decreased more visibly from that day. Vanished, like a ghost, has the Rupee !
* By this I do not mean the Barmaid who presides over the stale buns at our Eailway Eefreshment-room; I refer to the
prettiest g-irl at the Military Station where I was quartered.
PREMIER AND PHYSICIAN.
{Imaginary Report of an utterly
impossible Interview.)
So you got through your labours
at Oxford, my dear friend, without
feeling any ill effects ?—Certainly,
never enjoyed myself more. Every-
one paid the deepest attention. One
Don actually used an ear-trumpet.
Well, and what do you intend doing
next ?—Oh, lots of things. You see
my Parliamentary work is next to
nothing—not a moment more than ten
hours a-day. So I must do something
with my spare time.
Certainly, I have no objection. But
I should like to hear your programme,
I shall have it ship-shape. But say for ride on my own account. I feel sure
November. Shall we say November ? , that I can do better than those German
Certainly. What do you propose ; and Austrian fellows,
doing in November ?—Well. 1 think Where do you propose to ride ?
I shall retranslate the works of Homer,
andwrite an exhaustive article in the
Encylopcedia Britannica (new edition)
From John o' Groat's to the Land's
End, I fancy, will be the course. I
ought to do it in three days.
on the " Life of Wellington." Of course you will use more than
And that is all ? Well, and a fair ! one horse ? — Oh, certainly. No
amount, too !—All! What nonsense ! cruelty. And I think I shall try the
Why, that will take me less than no : walk myself on foot, just to see if a
time. Then I think I shall ascend , horse will be able to keep up with me.
Mont Blanc, so as to be able to see And is there any" other exploit that
how the summit looks in winter.
Then I shall translate the Waverley
Novels into Swedish.
Well, youmightbe worse employed,
but you must not overdo it.—Overdo
it! Certainly not 1 Why, I am strong
I have only sot it into form for a | as a horse. And that reminds me, I j might say this, so I have written and
week or so. Before the end of the year j think I shall attempt a long- distance ' respectfully declined the invitation!
you contemplate f—I thought I might
perh aps dine with the new Lord MayTor.
What! dine with the new Lord
Mayor! Why, you would never be
able to bear the strain ; the great
exertion!—I was half afraid you
221
But it's mean of Chal-
mers—I swear it is. He
ought not to have al-
lowed it. And then,
never to let on about
it to us. Well, my
day's spoilt, if they
come on with us after
wards. I couldn't shoot
an ostrich sitting with
a woman chattering to
me. Miss Chickweed's
got her eye on you,
Lloyd. She's marked
you. No g ood try i ng to
do a ramp. You 're
nailed, my boy, nailed !
Lloyd. Hang Miss
Chickweed ! She half
killed me last night
with all kinds of silly
questions. Asked me
to be sure and bring
her home a rocketing
rabbit, because she'd
heard they were very
valuable. Why can't the
women stay at home ?
\_They walk on moodily.
A few minutes later.
Lunch has just begun.
3Iiss Chickweed (mid-
dle-aged, but skittish).
Oh, you naughty men,
how long you have kept
us waiting ! Now, Cap-
tain Lloyd, did you
shoot really well ? Or,
were you thinking of
- Well, perhaps I
oughtn't to say. See
how discreet I am. But
do tell me, all of you,
exactly how many birds
you shot—I do so like
to hear about it. You
begin, Captain Lloyd.
How many did you
shoot P ( Without wait-
ing for an answer.)
I m sure you must
have shot a dozen. Yes,
I guess a dozen. And,
oh, do give me a feather
for my hat! It will be
so nice to have a real
feather to put in it.
And we've got such a
treat for you. Mary,
you tell them. No, I '11
tell them myself. If
you 're all very good at
lunch, we 're going to
walk with you a little
afterwards. There!
[But, at this awful pro-
spect, consternation
seizes the men . Chal-
mers (the host)
makes frantic signs
to his wife, who
(having, somehow,
been squared")
affects not to see.
A feio desperate
attempts are made
to express a polite
joy ; but the lunch
languishes, and
darkness closes over
the melancholy
scene.
THE VANISHING RUPEE.—A Cry from India.
A Colonel laments the disappearance of the Rupee, and shows how, whenever he had a step up in his Regiment (each time growing
in importance and having more calls on his purse), the Rupee at once took a step down, decreasing in importance and reputation.
I.-subaltern. ^-CAPTAIN.
A Naval Inquiry.—
The Howe and the why ?
As a " Sub," free from family ties, Raised to Captain's rank, it so fell out
With constant " fivers " from the Pater, I fell in love with the Station belle,*
The Rupee I thought a goodly size, Got spliced; the Rupee, at once, no doubt,
Though once its value was much greater. In spite, not in love, but value fell.
III.—Major. IV.—Colonel
^ipfc- M:.
Children came, money went, all U P, Cramming ! Schooling ! Bills by every post!
I thought, when promotion brought more pay But now, as Colonel, I think I see
(What luck !); but that slippery Rupee My way ; but I count without my host.
Decreased more visibly from that day. Vanished, like a ghost, has the Rupee !
* By this I do not mean the Barmaid who presides over the stale buns at our Eailway Eefreshment-room; I refer to the
prettiest g-irl at the Military Station where I was quartered.
PREMIER AND PHYSICIAN.
{Imaginary Report of an utterly
impossible Interview.)
So you got through your labours
at Oxford, my dear friend, without
feeling any ill effects ?—Certainly,
never enjoyed myself more. Every-
one paid the deepest attention. One
Don actually used an ear-trumpet.
Well, and what do you intend doing
next ?—Oh, lots of things. You see
my Parliamentary work is next to
nothing—not a moment more than ten
hours a-day. So I must do something
with my spare time.
Certainly, I have no objection. But
I should like to hear your programme,
I shall have it ship-shape. But say for ride on my own account. I feel sure
November. Shall we say November ? , that I can do better than those German
Certainly. What do you propose ; and Austrian fellows,
doing in November ?—Well. 1 think Where do you propose to ride ?
I shall retranslate the works of Homer,
andwrite an exhaustive article in the
Encylopcedia Britannica (new edition)
From John o' Groat's to the Land's
End, I fancy, will be the course. I
ought to do it in three days.
on the " Life of Wellington." Of course you will use more than
And that is all ? Well, and a fair ! one horse ? — Oh, certainly. No
amount, too !—All! What nonsense ! cruelty. And I think I shall try the
Why, that will take me less than no : walk myself on foot, just to see if a
time. Then I think I shall ascend , horse will be able to keep up with me.
Mont Blanc, so as to be able to see And is there any" other exploit that
how the summit looks in winter.
Then I shall translate the Waverley
Novels into Swedish.
Well, youmightbe worse employed,
but you must not overdo it.—Overdo
it! Certainly not 1 Why, I am strong
I have only sot it into form for a | as a horse. And that reminds me, I j might say this, so I have written and
week or so. Before the end of the year j think I shall attempt a long- distance ' respectfully declined the invitation!
you contemplate f—I thought I might
perh aps dine with the new Lord MayTor.
What! dine with the new Lord
Mayor! Why, you would never be
able to bear the strain ; the great
exertion!—I was half afraid you