DOI Heft:
December 10, 1892
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17694#0278
December 10, 1892.] PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
273
RECONCILIATION.
(Scene from that new Screaming Farce " The Political Box and Cox.")
\" Mr. Gladstone (says the Daily Chronicle) has effected a formal reconciliation with the Member
for Northampton. He visited Mr. and Mrs. Labotjchere, took tea with them, and had a long and very
cordial interview. So far, indeed, as Mr. Labotjchere ever had any personal feeling in reference to
his exclusion from the Ministry, it may be regarded as dead."]
Box. Although we are not destined to
occupy the same—ahem!—Cabinet Council
Chamber—at present, I don't see any neces-
sity for our cutting each other's political
throat, Sir.
Cox. Not at all. It's an operation that
I should decidedly object to.
Box. And, after all, I've no violent ani-
mosity against you, Sir.
Cox. Nor have I any rooted antipathy to
you. Sir.
Box. Besides, it was all—ahem !—Mrs.—
ahem's fault, Sir!
Cox [embarrassed). Well—ahem !—my—er
—loyalty—as a man of honour—to—er—that
lady, Sir, forbids, Sir, my saying, or—er—
permitting to be said-
\_Gradually approaching chairs.
Box. Ah, exactly, I quite understand that.
The truth is-
Cox (quickly). A most excellent thing, in
its way. I always see it.
Box. Yery well, Sir!
Cox. Very well. Sir! [Pause.
Bex. Take a little jam, Sir!
Cox. Thank you, Sir !
[Taking a spoonful. Pause.
Box. Do you sing, Sir ?
Cox (modestly). I have, in days gone by,
done a little Negro Minstrelsy.
Box. Then give us a breakdown. (Parise.)
Well, well, perhaps the suggestion's a little
inopportune. What is your opinion of smoking,
Sir ? [Produces cigarette.
Cox (tartly). I think it is a pestilent
practice, Sir!
Box (puffing). So do some other singular
people, Sir. To be sure, they may not so
much object to it if the pipes are not loaded.
Cox. No—I daresay that does make some
difference.
Box. And yet, Sir, on the other hand,
doesn't it strike you, as rather a waste of
time, for people to keep puffing away at pipes
(or Programmes) with nothing in 'em ?
Cox (drily). No, Sir—not more than any
other harmless recreation—such, for instance,
as posing as a Party leader, without any
Party.
Box (aside). Some of his own Party may be
found a bit shaky. Next time I invite him,
it may be to tea—and turn-out!
Cox (aside). Let him put that in his pipe
(or cigarette) and smoke it!
Box (aloud). Well, well, now we so tho-
roughly understand each other, what—even
Programmes—shall part us ?
Cox. Who—even—ahem! a certain Party,
shall tear us asunder ?
Box. Cox!
Cox. Box!
[About to embrace. Box stops, seizes
Cox's hand, and looks eagerly in his
face.
Box. You'll excuse the apparent insanity
of the remark, but the more I gaze on your
features, the more I'm convinced that you'd
never be such a suicidal idiot as to—seek
another Chamber ?
Cox (winking). Walker!
Box. Ah—tell me—in mercy tell me—have
you such a thing as the '' Strawberry Leaves "
in your eye ?
Cox. No!
Box. Then we are brothers!
[They rush into each other's arms.
Cox. Of course, we stop where we are ?
Box. Of course!
Cox. For between you and me, I'm rather
partial to the House.
Box. So am I—I feel quite at home in it.
Cox. Everything so clean and comfortable !
Box. And I'm sure its Mistress, Mrs.—
ahem!—from what little I've seen of her, is
very anxious to do her best.
Cox. So she is—and I vote, Box, that we
stand by her!
Box. Agreed! (winks). There's my hand
upon it—join but yours—agree that the House
is big enough to hold us both, then Box-
Cox. And Cox-
Both. Are satisfied! [Curtain.
FACT, OR FUNK ?
Sir,—Will you permit me to protest against
the shocking insecurity of life and property in
London ? What are the Police doing r Only
yesterday I was walking, in the middle of the
day, in a rather quiet road in this suburb,
when a highway robber, disguised as an
ordinary beggar, asked me for a copper ! His
look was most forbidding, and he put his
hand under his coat in a way that convinced
me he was about to draw a revolver! I at
once gave him my purse, with half-a-crown
in it, which seemed to pacify him, and I
am convinced that I owe my life to my
presence of mind. The shock, however, has
quite prostrated me, and my medical adviser
has already paid me three visits, on the
strength of it, and says I need "careful
watching for some time." He has very
kindly put off a holiday, in order to watch
me, which is sufficient to prove what a
diabolical outrage I have been the victim of i
Yours, indignantly,
Cozynook, Sydenham. Tabitha Grundy.
Leak Mr. Punch,—We are coming to a
really awful state of things in the Strand!
A friend of mine (who does not wish his name
mentioned) assures me that he was proceed-
ing from the Gaiety Restaurant, where he
had been lunching, towards Charing Cross,
when he was "attacked by_ Vertigo " in
broad day-light! Comment is needless. If
dangerous foreign bandits like this Vertigo
—who from his name must be an Italian—are
permitted to plunder innocent pedestrians
with impunity, the sooner we abolish our
Police Force and save the expense, the better.
No Alarmist.
Dear Ed'tor,—I write you a line to say
I've jus' been 'suited—grossly 'suited—on
Thames 'Bankmen'. Walkin' 'long—quite
shober—sud'ly 'costed by man dressed like
'pleeceman. Said " lot bad krakters about"
—took hold of my arm—wanted see me into
cab. I saw through him at once. It was
a plot! Wanted steal vabblewatch — for-
shately lef watch home. Angry at not
findin' watch—bundled me into cab anyhow
—feel 'fects still. AVhash Scolland Yard
bout? Are spekbull citizens to be 'suited
by pleece — by me'dress-li'pleece, I mean ?
It's all true 'bout Lunn' bein' most unsafe.
Norra word' of 'xagg'ration! Cre1 'xperto.
Thash Latin I—Shows I'm spekbull. No more
now! He'ache. Yours, Rum Punch.
Sir Gerald Portal.
Of Afric's districts C. and E.,
'Tis clear to any mortal,
We've but to keep our Afric key,
And enter by our Portal.
The following mysterious advertisement is
cut from the Grantham Journal:—
WANTED, to Purchase, a HALF-LEGGED
Horse, five years old, suitable for Building
work, about 16 hands.—Address, &c.
Is the horse to have two legs ? Not on all
fours with nature P And the sixteen hands ?
Compensation for want of legs ? Give it up!
273
RECONCILIATION.
(Scene from that new Screaming Farce " The Political Box and Cox.")
\" Mr. Gladstone (says the Daily Chronicle) has effected a formal reconciliation with the Member
for Northampton. He visited Mr. and Mrs. Labotjchere, took tea with them, and had a long and very
cordial interview. So far, indeed, as Mr. Labotjchere ever had any personal feeling in reference to
his exclusion from the Ministry, it may be regarded as dead."]
Box. Although we are not destined to
occupy the same—ahem!—Cabinet Council
Chamber—at present, I don't see any neces-
sity for our cutting each other's political
throat, Sir.
Cox. Not at all. It's an operation that
I should decidedly object to.
Box. And, after all, I've no violent ani-
mosity against you, Sir.
Cox. Nor have I any rooted antipathy to
you. Sir.
Box. Besides, it was all—ahem !—Mrs.—
ahem's fault, Sir!
Cox [embarrassed). Well—ahem !—my—er
—loyalty—as a man of honour—to—er—that
lady, Sir, forbids, Sir, my saying, or—er—
permitting to be said-
\_Gradually approaching chairs.
Box. Ah, exactly, I quite understand that.
The truth is-
Cox (quickly). A most excellent thing, in
its way. I always see it.
Box. Yery well, Sir!
Cox. Very well. Sir! [Pause.
Bex. Take a little jam, Sir!
Cox. Thank you, Sir !
[Taking a spoonful. Pause.
Box. Do you sing, Sir ?
Cox (modestly). I have, in days gone by,
done a little Negro Minstrelsy.
Box. Then give us a breakdown. (Parise.)
Well, well, perhaps the suggestion's a little
inopportune. What is your opinion of smoking,
Sir ? [Produces cigarette.
Cox (tartly). I think it is a pestilent
practice, Sir!
Box (puffing). So do some other singular
people, Sir. To be sure, they may not so
much object to it if the pipes are not loaded.
Cox. No—I daresay that does make some
difference.
Box. And yet, Sir, on the other hand,
doesn't it strike you, as rather a waste of
time, for people to keep puffing away at pipes
(or Programmes) with nothing in 'em ?
Cox (drily). No, Sir—not more than any
other harmless recreation—such, for instance,
as posing as a Party leader, without any
Party.
Box (aside). Some of his own Party may be
found a bit shaky. Next time I invite him,
it may be to tea—and turn-out!
Cox (aside). Let him put that in his pipe
(or cigarette) and smoke it!
Box (aloud). Well, well, now we so tho-
roughly understand each other, what—even
Programmes—shall part us ?
Cox. Who—even—ahem! a certain Party,
shall tear us asunder ?
Box. Cox!
Cox. Box!
[About to embrace. Box stops, seizes
Cox's hand, and looks eagerly in his
face.
Box. You'll excuse the apparent insanity
of the remark, but the more I gaze on your
features, the more I'm convinced that you'd
never be such a suicidal idiot as to—seek
another Chamber ?
Cox (winking). Walker!
Box. Ah—tell me—in mercy tell me—have
you such a thing as the '' Strawberry Leaves "
in your eye ?
Cox. No!
Box. Then we are brothers!
[They rush into each other's arms.
Cox. Of course, we stop where we are ?
Box. Of course!
Cox. For between you and me, I'm rather
partial to the House.
Box. So am I—I feel quite at home in it.
Cox. Everything so clean and comfortable !
Box. And I'm sure its Mistress, Mrs.—
ahem!—from what little I've seen of her, is
very anxious to do her best.
Cox. So she is—and I vote, Box, that we
stand by her!
Box. Agreed! (winks). There's my hand
upon it—join but yours—agree that the House
is big enough to hold us both, then Box-
Cox. And Cox-
Both. Are satisfied! [Curtain.
FACT, OR FUNK ?
Sir,—Will you permit me to protest against
the shocking insecurity of life and property in
London ? What are the Police doing r Only
yesterday I was walking, in the middle of the
day, in a rather quiet road in this suburb,
when a highway robber, disguised as an
ordinary beggar, asked me for a copper ! His
look was most forbidding, and he put his
hand under his coat in a way that convinced
me he was about to draw a revolver! I at
once gave him my purse, with half-a-crown
in it, which seemed to pacify him, and I
am convinced that I owe my life to my
presence of mind. The shock, however, has
quite prostrated me, and my medical adviser
has already paid me three visits, on the
strength of it, and says I need "careful
watching for some time." He has very
kindly put off a holiday, in order to watch
me, which is sufficient to prove what a
diabolical outrage I have been the victim of i
Yours, indignantly,
Cozynook, Sydenham. Tabitha Grundy.
Leak Mr. Punch,—We are coming to a
really awful state of things in the Strand!
A friend of mine (who does not wish his name
mentioned) assures me that he was proceed-
ing from the Gaiety Restaurant, where he
had been lunching, towards Charing Cross,
when he was "attacked by_ Vertigo " in
broad day-light! Comment is needless. If
dangerous foreign bandits like this Vertigo
—who from his name must be an Italian—are
permitted to plunder innocent pedestrians
with impunity, the sooner we abolish our
Police Force and save the expense, the better.
No Alarmist.
Dear Ed'tor,—I write you a line to say
I've jus' been 'suited—grossly 'suited—on
Thames 'Bankmen'. Walkin' 'long—quite
shober—sud'ly 'costed by man dressed like
'pleeceman. Said " lot bad krakters about"
—took hold of my arm—wanted see me into
cab. I saw through him at once. It was
a plot! Wanted steal vabblewatch — for-
shately lef watch home. Angry at not
findin' watch—bundled me into cab anyhow
—feel 'fects still. AVhash Scolland Yard
bout? Are spekbull citizens to be 'suited
by pleece — by me'dress-li'pleece, I mean ?
It's all true 'bout Lunn' bein' most unsafe.
Norra word' of 'xagg'ration! Cre1 'xperto.
Thash Latin I—Shows I'm spekbull. No more
now! He'ache. Yours, Rum Punch.
Sir Gerald Portal.
Of Afric's districts C. and E.,
'Tis clear to any mortal,
We've but to keep our Afric key,
And enter by our Portal.
The following mysterious advertisement is
cut from the Grantham Journal:—
WANTED, to Purchase, a HALF-LEGGED
Horse, five years old, suitable for Building
work, about 16 hands.—Address, &c.
Is the horse to have two legs ? Not on all
fours with nature P And the sixteen hands ?
Compensation for want of legs ? Give it up!