Punch / Almanack (1844)

i f ri ILATR E i A T p Z
R o v m. 1

P D El\i,

A*

I'M t) ! ! I / U

it Vi Pfinl

it r,° &&

i!wv*

SHAKESPEARE JUBILEE. PROCESSION OF THE BRITISH DRAMA IN 1844.

On the 2d of April, in the year 1801, thebattle of Copenhagen was fought; but not
in CopenhaRen-flelds, as might be imagined. Nelson seeing the mizen of the enemy
going to leeward, gave orders to luff, and having spliced the main brace of the top-gallant,

Farming Directions.

Cease folding your turnips,
but don't neglect washing
them when you intend using
them ; and be sure to mangel
vour wurzel. Roll over grass
land ; but wear an old coat
when you do roll over it.

Jocular Hints.

The morning of the first
will be favourable for an ex-
cursion into the country; you
having invited a number of
friends to partake of a friend-

MONTHLY REMARKS.

Yon blushing rose:—but no! We had a
comparison to make:—the thought is mad-
ness. Beauty, to the individual of small
income, is like the pastrycook's shop
to the schcol-boy.

The morn ot life is the first
April. Hope is the wag; the
tender heart the fool.

The sleet assails the cheek
and blinds the eye. The pave-
ment, o'erspread with snow
and salt, Hows with a freezing
mixture. Happy the man
whose Albert wrapper exults
in its integrity.

Domestic Economy.

After arranging with a ser-
vant to live on board wages, be
sure to drown your cat.

-ly dinner with you in town.

Cayenne gingerbread may be administered
to thb elephant at the Zoological Gardens.

Aphorisms.

See, the flowers are coming out. It is morn;

PREDICTIONS.

This month umbrellas will be brisk and macintoshes lively. A rise
will take place in water-butts, and cistern balls will be looking up.

Puddles are likely to be decanted into boots ; we should therefore
ndvise pedestrians to keep their soles well corked; and commissions
are given to hatters to survey tiles, in order to ascertain if they are
waterproof. It you are anxious to provide yourself with a light cape,
get a bill discounted, and take twenty per cent, in Sherry.

Monthly Notices.

The service of objections on overseers must be complete by the First of
April, or the objections will be no service whatever.

piped all hands; while Admiral Parker got his own head well up to the wind, and
shivered two of his opponents' timbers. Nelson now received a proposal for a
truce, and each party taking in the stun' sail, eased off to his own moorings.

MONTHLY

Legal Memoranda.

Observe in April: —That returns of every -
thing are made in this month, except bor-
rowed umbrellas. That returns of taxes do
not mean that the taxes will be returned ;
and the mistress who makes a point of scold-
ing all her servants, must not be angry
at the rating being assessed. Persons
using hair-powder pay 1/. 3s. 6d., but
the same parties using gunpowder pay
31. 13s. lid. Silk dresses may be shot
without taking out a certificate.

How to make an April Fool.
Provide any parishioner of St..
Stephen's, Walbrook, with a blank
receipt, and send him to Alder-
man Gibbs for the balance of
the Parish accounts.

REMARKS.

Another JJ'ay.

Refer any person who
is anxious to be informed
of the time of day to the
Clock of St. Clement's
Church.

Another " Another frViy."
Find a journeyman
tailor who wishes to
earn his living by his
trade, and send him to
Moses.

Zoological.
The nimble Fly now
becins to wake the echoes
with a tuneful buzz, and
when the Day is propi-
tious we may expect the


Jlar''"'

t/j

HINT TO COUNTRY COUSINS. .

If you are fond of birds, the best place to buy them is „0tc i
A canary averages an old dress-coat, and a bulfinch can ^ie- y
a pair of highlows. You mu-t be careful not to give your c» p3t'r
cient water to wash themselves in, or they may prove to o

Primrose-hill,

Horse Duties.

eme


iveO

It is the duty of a hired horse to go till he drops, upon en
but in ordinary cases, to be hired for Richmond, and <"
Hampton Court.

Sentiment.—May the wearer of the cont which has been renovated
. ^ never be caught in a shower.

1

M

2

Tu

3

W

4

Th

5

F

6

S

7

&

8

M

9

Tu

10

W

11

Th

12

F

13

S

14

Sb

15

M

Actions brought aoainst Hoi-e as a Director of tub West Middlesex 'Assurance
Company, 1812. The Hole proved not equal to the part.

A i,ate Act requires that Marriage Certificates be written on a 5s.
Stamp—making marriage a dollar-ous ceremony, and one of a very low stamp.

IS31. At a coffee-shop, Jenkins sees in the Morning Post a guinea reward for the
u plum-pudding." Takes the dog home; sends in his card, and is dismissed with one
pound one, aud an order to " Attend an Evening Party "on the 11th.

Wordsworth accepts the Poet Laureateship, 1843. Coroner
Wakley undertakes the advertisements of the tailor Moses.

Good Friday.

Duke of Cleveland received the Order of the Bath, 1842,—
and gave directions for a cold shower the next morning,

faster hunting.

Mahomet A li's Mortar ok 13 tons proved at Woolwich yesterday, 1843. Such mortar
being certain to keep Mahomet's troops together like bricks.

6000 tons of Coals wanted by thb British for Hong Kong, 1843. They not being
able to get at the China Wall's end.

Saturn rises 3 h. 0 m. His ring not being visible, he begs the loan
of the King of Prussia's gift to the Moon, in Threadneedle-stieet.

1881. Jenkins attends the "party," and strangely overhears a proposal for a sccret

marriage between Lady Emily and Capt. Hercules , her lover, in the Blues.

Jenkins feels his quills beginning to shoot, and thinks his fortune made.

Rodnky's Victory, 1782. Rodney—like an English dramatic author—taking every-
thing from the French as fast as it came out, and often putting very bad English
into it.

A Stat11* of Father Thames erected at Somerset House, 1789. Father Thames
since made chief contractor for the diet of the Unions as ordered by the Poor Law

Commissioners.

i ^buntiflr) after lEaster.

A Court of Honor established in Bavaria to prevent Duelling, 1819. In England,
the C'jurt ot Honor for the same purpose, is the Old Bailey.

• s f '

1831. Jenkins writes thus to Post:—"A marriage is on the tapis (this Jen\[neii['''

French Plays), between Lady 1£ and Capt. II . Orders are $ptfl

trousseau [this from Cranbourne Alley) tor tlie caka si-osa (this from if
futuro [this from undertaker). ,edf"1

When i'e> ,,

cct»

.1/

Establishment ok tiie Loyal London Volunteers, 179-1
field, they were familiarly known as the scarlet runners.

Abernethy d. 1831. The Faculty, to show their resp'
his memory in black draughts.

1). w. Harvky's motion for a revision of tiir Pension List nboativbp> ,,j

objecting to Harvey's Sauce on their 44 loaves and fishes." . t'1

The Tower Ditch filled up, 1843. The Lions h«virl
washing and mangling at the Surrey Zoological OardcU3'

2 ^buntrag after faster.

o ti>;

1831. The Captain in the Blues calls at the Post. Wishes to learyinll';[li
of the paia^raph; cannot conceive bv what miracle the affair Kat Je"*
Post shakes hands with itself, and sends some orders for the Opera J

the coffee-shop- ^ Jf

Lord Brougham appears as " a Lion at the soihEe

4

Cowley in Paris, 1843. A lion only skin-deep•


af

• — — j " iivu yjiiiy upi-/"

Thunder storm passes over London, 1843. Sours Sir I •

who, till then, never thought small beer of himself- pfo1 j
Lord Waldkgrave's sale at Strawberry Hill,
first time his lordship has been accessory to knockiwl

1 Tunl-i ri j 'jc fltii nnkl ^ i-'.. .31! 3 _ . - i .. r

1831. ^ Jenkins, as the noble foundling, and accepted suitor of Griseld* -
maiden visit to the Opera, accompanied by his lady-love, and the M»n
On leaving, hia health is kindly inquired after by his triend Fog. l,,t* ^ fjU1

The Chanckllor of thb Exchkquer acknowledges the receipt of a si
Win. ow Duty, 1842. A proof of the distress of the people—paper
windows.

3 £bunliflg after lEasier.

t'bl'1


,>*,1

Yesterday the annual Drawing of the Art Union, 1842. ;*»»•,-
given the whole of his mind to the undertaking, t*efa an equivale*1
This joke by a dead shot.

Lord Ellbnborouoh oistrihutks Orders or Merit to thb A**v ^

A banquet is given to him in consequence of' the victory, and he
the honours.