Punch / Almanack (1846)

PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOE 1846.

garden bedding.

It is not true that the asparagus-bed should be
a four-poster ; but that, and other beds, some-
times require blankets of matting : and. during
cold weather, are better for a counterpane of snow.

a substitute for bread.

Bath Bunns are generally considered much
richer than the ordinary bunns, and as certain
loaves are called bricks, it is possible that Bath
Bricks may be resorted to in the event of bread
rising in price very materially. The suggestion
seems, at least, as good as that of Dr. Hqkland,
who proposes l'eas as a means of appeasing
hunger.

the english emtire.

" The sun," it is said, " never sets on the
Queen's dominions." A Frenchman says, the
reason is because the sun is never seen in Eng-
land at all.

*w/f -A- ri-'—^ 1H - ■ w p

Railway Miseries. Railway Directors reduced to driving tkeik own Broughams and Cabs for Hire. «

No. XII. J

CHAPTER XII:

SHOWING HOW MR. CAUDLE LEFT niS WIFE A WIDOW. HIS DEFENCE OF HIS TYRANNY.

Mr. Caudle, ere he left this world, had much more " Breakfast Talk "
with his unfortunate wife; but it is believed that we have given the principal
heads of his discourses : for his topics were like the church bells, they nearly
always rang the same morning peal. To the reader who believed in the
declaration of the first Mrs. Caudle that her husband " was really an
aggravating man," with her prophecy that " the world wouldat last know him
as well as she did." the conduct of the individual towards the ensnared and
unfortunate Miss Prettvman may not afford surprise. Caudle himself,
however, set up an ingenious if not a credible defence. Prettv.man, his
brother-in-law, had now and then remonstrated with him. " I don't mean it
—upon my life, I mean nothing. I'm very fond of your sister—extremely
fond ; it's only a habit, my ill-treatment—nothing but a habit."

"A hahit! " cried Pretty.man, "why that's what we complain of!
That's what we want yon to get rid of."

"Impossible, mv dear boy—quite impossible. Having lived twenty years
with the late Mrs. Caudle - though 1 believe her to be a sainted woman
notwithstanding-how was it to be expected that 1 shouldu't make a natural
use of mv liberty. You don't suppose I was going to suffer Mrs. Caudle
the second to be'only another Mrs. Caudle the first, -so you see I bent the
bar the other way."

" And this is vour defence? " cried Prettvman.

" My excellent friend." said Caudle, "bad temper's catching. There-
fore, let folks beware how they come together. If I've been a little bit of a
tyrant in my second marringe, 'tis only because I was a slave in the first;
and all tyrants, mv dear bov. are only slaves turned inside out."

" 1 can make nothing of "that figure." said I'rettv.man, " but this : that
in most marriages there are faults of both sides."

" Exactly so/' answered Caudle, " and both I've known."