DOI issue:
Punch’s Almanack for 1853
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17042#0006
THE LA©1ES OF TWE CREATION.
old Mrs. Pea- ___into the draw-
ing room, -which
»odt (whose
front had unac ,; II I f»_INI \ I | 11111 fj^lfHLM fillliJMllNIUlii,^,^^^ V Ws not u'ntUwe
countably dis- llllii^rn^NII ' 11111TWF^' '^rtP^^f-f^^| ji ' : I |||,| >fll j 1 III illi'' - had been sent
bafdLXitha III I M [CREAM) ffil t) \ 1 j | | I i | I I Ife^tf^^^F' ' ^pi? the' mel
little fringe of ^ 1 A 1 L f f> Jl ! i = =V ( H IP^lNW ll 11 " j I looked! and how
greyharronnd ,p!CF_J I U flffl G J M i ' ^ '"I Jj A i16 very glad they
about it, which , ^1 II . „ 1 llf I 1^ Ml !lli < Wt \}\\ JT* seemed .when
somehow she ALE!|f£A ^ \M JHL WM^mBM P If!/ I IJImL h '1) iv!^m I fiT^ ^ _/ - we came in, and
didn't seem in D^MM II ™"' 1 IB! k^^A^^'^kU SSJi^llTl^W hoW U after"
the least to care -rflMl'^ fitPf 1/ ll \t IT Wmgffitk LI..J. I%..'W5-' ftMwll ^^ii^J wards appeared
about seeing) ■ fl U^Ss^vS1' IMj§ iNTl! J* i ^=^=-! Ki >'A^j¥A#^ they had been
entirely failed in ---_ ' jMmffirKr^ 4B$a6b>>Ss> Xifflm 1 I » I jl WOT €Vs^ * v*8**^ comparing notes
her attempt to - MW'^M^^ WSS^Wk^SS^m^ ; --^ ''r**Z \x/£ff/M^M^m^\^W^MM concerning their
prevent us from =X ^> H T ill MtEIt ' I BTl^Tr V £0?° ~W^^^^mMm^tW^i \\ wives, and their
nibbling at the • WMfk j gBHSM^W^MM^^hw^.- ' mWf&l fiMPJ^m^M- f housekeeping
macaroons and ! VaaC-\V^^V-M JmBWK Mf^^ ■J^^Wt^RsSS^ .' I'.'- —^S^ expenses, until
bonbons, which 1 I |i: ■^^^^SKBBm^SKtEtSKL wRST£(yKA==^*^ AAt^ «S^*^^^^ffl#W they had all but
she said spoiled ;f , - J^/,*^^11^^ bs^I^^P?#!^r ^ ' 'A- ' ;v ^Ar~Afe I v^ki^^S^^W quarrelled. I did
our palates for .} || u ;:j Jff^M// ^WMSPHfer' \ . A/-- D / 'AA?^WwCfMl^^^ not feel at all
the claret ; I'm \ | jik, vMWj^^MM// \'^SBfBK» ' - ' Vl t^AjMtllSFW well for the rest
afraid, too, that 1|gMM W'7 A ViT \ ■' WMP^ Wr^^^^^ii^SSiMl^i^ of the evening,
some of us took A|Bg' f, ffl I l^^^B^^^M fell asleep
more wine than ■ —LV^97W7ifl, 'M llCT'f ill 1! I AAnM&-^ i^^^^3^^^^S5?«BB^»fflB^ on a sofa, till it
wewereusedto, A,• Wl \V&7 i . }} A\ IVM ill I ^^KS^Mll was time to take ^
and I know/saw ^iWK&gis^"' ' VaW| j^7^^ ^ LiB^^^^A^^ ■■-^ Edward home.
more candles ijij^yi^^pEr^ "''"^^Bai'f'^W^^^Pl^OT^^'t'iHi■ t^^^K^K^S!^^^^ ^r^Z^^ "~A^~- --^ "^i^i^^7-"''^' ~' had such a head-
thath 'tabf Werd ^"^E^^^^^^^[^^^1^1^^^^OTH£^:'~ ""'^;S=:;;^:---I^^^^^^^^^A: a«he! I vowed
Edward com- r-^a*S^. '' ^^^^^^■•-J|^^^^|(^^8B^F~~^-:^^^3e> ^s*f~,^^^^^^^^A' the decanters"
plained bitterly """^ ' ^B^m . to) ' '* "rtMw**' • . " ^= J>-y' ; * ' again as long as
of the way I — ^<r~/^-~^S3 ^ c ^=^~ - „ "" " ' ^ • - ^ I lived, but go
chattered with - _ -rr ^ ^rr~ up stairs with
young Subcin- the gentlemen.
GLE, after we Fdward wanted
came up stairs EFFICIENCY OF FEMALE POLICE IN WHAT IS VULGARLY CALLED A "JOLLY ROW." very much to go
moot points. i weights and measures. i maxims for a young lady's curl-papers.
1. Whether a police-van may be accepted as a legal
conveyance ?
2. Whether a retired innkeeper can resume his avocation
without rendering himself liable to be considered a Re-
publican ?
3. Whether the ancient Hebrews were not invariably tried
by Jewry?
4. Whether public vocalists who sing out of time can be
legally arrested for uttering false notes ?
5. Whether, by the Registration Act, you are required to
register a berth under Government?
6. Whether a blind man can be held liable for a bill payable
at sight?
The Balance of Power.—One thousand pounds at your
Banker's.
A Measure of Iniquity.— A. quart bottle holding little more
than a pint.
The Pleasubes of Travelling.—A young lady has been
turned out of society at New Jersey for having, upon the
rhapsody of the moment, exclaimed at a tea-table, " How plea-
sant it is to travel 1 When you are at sea, what can be more
delightful than a smack?—or on land, than a good 'buss ! "
Philosophy of Fogtism.—An old bachelor, recommended to
take a wife for the sake of companionship, replied, " Marriage,
Sir, would be simply the exchange of loneliness for disquiet."
Modesty is a handsome dish-cover, that makes us fancy
there must be something very good underneath it.
An old maid is an odd boot—of no use without a fellow.
The true test of a man's temper is to keep him waiting five
minutes for his dinner.
There's a secret drawer in every heart, as there is in every
desk, if we only knew how te touch the spring of it.
The art of economy is drawing in as much as one can, but
unfortunately young ladies will apply this " drawing in " to
their own bodies, when they wish to avoid anything like a
waist.
A breach of promise of marriage may be called as " a run-
away ring from the church-door."
Prediction for May.—Mars is in
opposition to Pallas. Let the soldier
on duty at St. James's beware.
Navigation fob Ladies. — The
stitch a vessel threads the ocean
with is a tack.
Domestic Anomaly.—Breakfast is
generally considered a quiet meal;
yet it is that at which there is the
most tongue.
Mercantile Marine. — Captains
of merchant-ships will never be well
informed even if they become readers,
so long as they are skippers.
Game of Hazard.—A steam-en-
gine bursting and skying a copper.
Canine.—A gentleman that has
had the shine taken off his boots by
a lady's spaniel, will back the dog to
lick anything.
Fabulous Wealth of India.—
That the riches of India are in great
measure imaginary is obvious from
the fact that the term, wealth, is
there applied to a lac of rupees.
Law Terms.—We are happy to
announce a great alteration in Law
Terms, which have been much re-
duced by the recent diminutions in
the scale of costs.
Written Agreements should be
drawn up as shortly as possible ; for
parties are sure to agree best be-
tween wham there are the fewest
words.
Being anxious to make our Alma-
nack as complete as possible, we
shall be obliged to any one who
would tell us the cost of a Poetical
Licence, and at what office it is ob-
tainable.
An Under Tenant.—One who oc-
cupies a cellar.
An Immediate Landlord.—One
who will not wait for his rent.
An Affecting Picture.— There
cannot be a more moving representa-
tion than a diorama.
MISS BROWN KINDLY TAKES HER COUSIN OUT FISHING.
Inferior Animal. " Oh dear ! Miss Brown ! Here's a fish taken all my bait. Do
come and put on another worm ! "
Prediction for June.—Mars will
threaten Taurus. The Ordnance ad-
vertises for tenders for Beef.
Copyright Question.—Is a con-
stable guilty of plagiarism when he
takes up one of Her Majesty's
subjects ?
Philharmonic Sentiment.—May
every cottage contain a cottage piano.
Vulgar Error.—The popular
supposition that the pig sees the
wind most likely was derived from
the nautical corruption, a " bow-
wester."
The Garb of Nature. —In Spring,
Nature puts on her newest livery,
but, during the rain of Winter, gene-
rally appears in " slops."
Historical Butcher's Bill.— The
history of the reigns of Henry VIII.
and Mary has been defined to be
an account of stakes and chops.
Fallacy of Naturalists.—It is
not true, whatever may have been
asserted, that whales are produced
by the sea lashing the shore.
National Defences.—The charge
of British regiments is felt by the
enemy alone, because our soldiers
only stick it into them.
Fashions for 1853.—Costumes for
Conversaziones will consist of book-
muslin.
Not so Bad as it Seems.—What
part of a shop is exactly like every
other part? The Counter-part.
A Nice Question for the Stamp
Office.-- Supposing duty to have
been paid on a horse, is there any
drawback if the animal jibs?
A Good Name.—The Isle of Dogs
is happilv so called, as it is situated
in the Thames, which is a great
Kennel.
A Worthy Creature.—He was
worth ten thousand a-year—and that
was all.
old Mrs. Pea- ___into the draw-
ing room, -which
»odt (whose
front had unac ,; II I f»_INI \ I | 11111 fj^lfHLM fillliJMllNIUlii,^,^^^ V Ws not u'ntUwe
countably dis- llllii^rn^NII ' 11111TWF^' '^rtP^^f-f^^| ji ' : I |||,| >fll j 1 III illi'' - had been sent
bafdLXitha III I M [CREAM) ffil t) \ 1 j | | I i | I I Ife^tf^^^F' ' ^pi? the' mel
little fringe of ^ 1 A 1 L f f> Jl ! i = =V ( H IP^lNW ll 11 " j I looked! and how
greyharronnd ,p!CF_J I U flffl G J M i ' ^ '"I Jj A i16 very glad they
about it, which , ^1 II . „ 1 llf I 1^ Ml !lli < Wt \}\\ JT* seemed .when
somehow she ALE!|f£A ^ \M JHL WM^mBM P If!/ I IJImL h '1) iv!^m I fiT^ ^ _/ - we came in, and
didn't seem in D^MM II ™"' 1 IB! k^^A^^'^kU SSJi^llTl^W hoW U after"
the least to care -rflMl'^ fitPf 1/ ll \t IT Wmgffitk LI..J. I%..'W5-' ftMwll ^^ii^J wards appeared
about seeing) ■ fl U^Ss^vS1' IMj§ iNTl! J* i ^=^=-! Ki >'A^j¥A#^ they had been
entirely failed in ---_ ' jMmffirKr^ 4B$a6b>>Ss> Xifflm 1 I » I jl WOT €Vs^ * v*8**^ comparing notes
her attempt to - MW'^M^^ WSS^Wk^SS^m^ ; --^ ''r**Z \x/£ff/M^M^m^\^W^MM concerning their
prevent us from =X ^> H T ill MtEIt ' I BTl^Tr V £0?° ~W^^^^mMm^tW^i \\ wives, and their
nibbling at the • WMfk j gBHSM^W^MM^^hw^.- ' mWf&l fiMPJ^m^M- f housekeeping
macaroons and ! VaaC-\V^^V-M JmBWK Mf^^ ■J^^Wt^RsSS^ .' I'.'- —^S^ expenses, until
bonbons, which 1 I |i: ■^^^^SKBBm^SKtEtSKL wRST£(yKA==^*^ AAt^ «S^*^^^^ffl#W they had all but
she said spoiled ;f , - J^/,*^^11^^ bs^I^^P?#!^r ^ ' 'A- ' ;v ^Ar~Afe I v^ki^^S^^W quarrelled. I did
our palates for .} || u ;:j Jff^M// ^WMSPHfer' \ . A/-- D / 'AA?^WwCfMl^^^ not feel at all
the claret ; I'm \ | jik, vMWj^^MM// \'^SBfBK» ' - ' Vl t^AjMtllSFW well for the rest
afraid, too, that 1|gMM W'7 A ViT \ ■' WMP^ Wr^^^^^ii^SSiMl^i^ of the evening,
some of us took A|Bg' f, ffl I l^^^B^^^M fell asleep
more wine than ■ —LV^97W7ifl, 'M llCT'f ill 1! I AAnM&-^ i^^^^3^^^^S5?«BB^»fflB^ on a sofa, till it
wewereusedto, A,• Wl \V&7 i . }} A\ IVM ill I ^^KS^Mll was time to take ^
and I know/saw ^iWK&gis^"' ' VaW| j^7^^ ^ LiB^^^^A^^ ■■-^ Edward home.
more candles ijij^yi^^pEr^ "''"^^Bai'f'^W^^^Pl^OT^^'t'iHi■ t^^^K^K^S!^^^^ ^r^Z^^ "~A^~- --^ "^i^i^^7-"''^' ~' had such a head-
thath 'tabf Werd ^"^E^^^^^^^[^^^1^1^^^^OTH£^:'~ ""'^;S=:;;^:---I^^^^^^^^^A: a«he! I vowed
Edward com- r-^a*S^. '' ^^^^^^■•-J|^^^^|(^^8B^F~~^-:^^^3e> ^s*f~,^^^^^^^^A' the decanters"
plained bitterly """^ ' ^B^m . to) ' '* "rtMw**' • . " ^= J>-y' ; * ' again as long as
of the way I — ^<r~/^-~^S3 ^ c ^=^~ - „ "" " ' ^ • - ^ I lived, but go
chattered with - _ -rr ^ ^rr~ up stairs with
young Subcin- the gentlemen.
GLE, after we Fdward wanted
came up stairs EFFICIENCY OF FEMALE POLICE IN WHAT IS VULGARLY CALLED A "JOLLY ROW." very much to go
moot points. i weights and measures. i maxims for a young lady's curl-papers.
1. Whether a police-van may be accepted as a legal
conveyance ?
2. Whether a retired innkeeper can resume his avocation
without rendering himself liable to be considered a Re-
publican ?
3. Whether the ancient Hebrews were not invariably tried
by Jewry?
4. Whether public vocalists who sing out of time can be
legally arrested for uttering false notes ?
5. Whether, by the Registration Act, you are required to
register a berth under Government?
6. Whether a blind man can be held liable for a bill payable
at sight?
The Balance of Power.—One thousand pounds at your
Banker's.
A Measure of Iniquity.— A. quart bottle holding little more
than a pint.
The Pleasubes of Travelling.—A young lady has been
turned out of society at New Jersey for having, upon the
rhapsody of the moment, exclaimed at a tea-table, " How plea-
sant it is to travel 1 When you are at sea, what can be more
delightful than a smack?—or on land, than a good 'buss ! "
Philosophy of Fogtism.—An old bachelor, recommended to
take a wife for the sake of companionship, replied, " Marriage,
Sir, would be simply the exchange of loneliness for disquiet."
Modesty is a handsome dish-cover, that makes us fancy
there must be something very good underneath it.
An old maid is an odd boot—of no use without a fellow.
The true test of a man's temper is to keep him waiting five
minutes for his dinner.
There's a secret drawer in every heart, as there is in every
desk, if we only knew how te touch the spring of it.
The art of economy is drawing in as much as one can, but
unfortunately young ladies will apply this " drawing in " to
their own bodies, when they wish to avoid anything like a
waist.
A breach of promise of marriage may be called as " a run-
away ring from the church-door."
Prediction for May.—Mars is in
opposition to Pallas. Let the soldier
on duty at St. James's beware.
Navigation fob Ladies. — The
stitch a vessel threads the ocean
with is a tack.
Domestic Anomaly.—Breakfast is
generally considered a quiet meal;
yet it is that at which there is the
most tongue.
Mercantile Marine. — Captains
of merchant-ships will never be well
informed even if they become readers,
so long as they are skippers.
Game of Hazard.—A steam-en-
gine bursting and skying a copper.
Canine.—A gentleman that has
had the shine taken off his boots by
a lady's spaniel, will back the dog to
lick anything.
Fabulous Wealth of India.—
That the riches of India are in great
measure imaginary is obvious from
the fact that the term, wealth, is
there applied to a lac of rupees.
Law Terms.—We are happy to
announce a great alteration in Law
Terms, which have been much re-
duced by the recent diminutions in
the scale of costs.
Written Agreements should be
drawn up as shortly as possible ; for
parties are sure to agree best be-
tween wham there are the fewest
words.
Being anxious to make our Alma-
nack as complete as possible, we
shall be obliged to any one who
would tell us the cost of a Poetical
Licence, and at what office it is ob-
tainable.
An Under Tenant.—One who oc-
cupies a cellar.
An Immediate Landlord.—One
who will not wait for his rent.
An Affecting Picture.— There
cannot be a more moving representa-
tion than a diorama.
MISS BROWN KINDLY TAKES HER COUSIN OUT FISHING.
Inferior Animal. " Oh dear ! Miss Brown ! Here's a fish taken all my bait. Do
come and put on another worm ! "
Prediction for June.—Mars will
threaten Taurus. The Ordnance ad-
vertises for tenders for Beef.
Copyright Question.—Is a con-
stable guilty of plagiarism when he
takes up one of Her Majesty's
subjects ?
Philharmonic Sentiment.—May
every cottage contain a cottage piano.
Vulgar Error.—The popular
supposition that the pig sees the
wind most likely was derived from
the nautical corruption, a " bow-
wester."
The Garb of Nature. —In Spring,
Nature puts on her newest livery,
but, during the rain of Winter, gene-
rally appears in " slops."
Historical Butcher's Bill.— The
history of the reigns of Henry VIII.
and Mary has been defined to be
an account of stakes and chops.
Fallacy of Naturalists.—It is
not true, whatever may have been
asserted, that whales are produced
by the sea lashing the shore.
National Defences.—The charge
of British regiments is felt by the
enemy alone, because our soldiers
only stick it into them.
Fashions for 1853.—Costumes for
Conversaziones will consist of book-
muslin.
Not so Bad as it Seems.—What
part of a shop is exactly like every
other part? The Counter-part.
A Nice Question for the Stamp
Office.-- Supposing duty to have
been paid on a horse, is there any
drawback if the animal jibs?
A Good Name.—The Isle of Dogs
is happilv so called, as it is situated
in the Thames, which is a great
Kennel.
A Worthy Creature.—He was
worth ten thousand a-year—and that
was all.