DOI issue:
Punch’s Almanack for 1854
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17043#0007
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOR 1854
MONTHLY MEMS.
By a Cabby.
July.—Parties begins to go out
o’ town. Look out for luggage,wich
a reasonable quantity depends on
the fare. Unprotected females has
no right to hany, and always car-
ries most. If they lays it on yon,
you lay it on them.—N.B. People
as goes by train can’t stand a
wrangle. If your fare's in an ’urry
for an express, drive slow; you
may werry likely be too late, hut
you '11 get the same fare back
again, and wot’s the hodds to
you? You can’t distress your
master’s ’oss, unless it’s made |
worth your wile. Notybeany.— j
Never carry no change.
The Chinese State Surgeon.—
It is probable that the Chinese
Empire will be broken up by the
insurgents ; in which case the aid
c»f the celebrated Poo Loo will
probably be invoked to reunite the
smashed China.
Medical Experience.—A fast
young medical student who had
been plucked at the Hall, and
remanded at the Insolvent Court,
remarked that he had got more
credit out of his profession, than
in it.
The Eye of the Law.—This
eye, we are told, is getting so
dreadfully weak, that it is about
to advertise for an articled pupil.
Putting the Cart(e) before
the Horse.—This is done when
a groom gives his steed the choice
Of beans or oats.
How to Hedge with Profit '
to Yourself.—The best way to j
put up with offence, is to meet it '
with a Ha! ha!
The Jullien Era terminated
on .July 12th with the Bal Masque
at Drury Lane Theatre.
POULTRY FANCIES.
Naughty little Boy a “Cochin” it for throwing stones at the Fowls.
GARDENING OPERATIONS
FOR JULY.
{For Fashionable Mammas.)
Put your gold frames in muslin
hags, and cart away loose furniture
to ttie Pantechnicon. Calculate
the relative advantages of foreign,
as compared with English Hus-
bandry, and cultivate whichever
promises to yield the greatest pro-
fit. Cut your box at the Opera,
and look forward to Spa watering
for the autumn. Transplant the
elder branches of your establish-
ment to the seaside, and the
younger sprigs remove to the nur- j
sery. Iloo your tradesmen their j
bills for tlie season, and lay plants
to run up fresh ones at the place
you think of vegetating in. Graft
paper-slips on window-frames, la-
belled “ To Let,” and stick your
servants on board wages. Clear
out your husband’s purse; or, if he
> is rather backward this year, shut
him up in back kitchen; and,
screening yourselves, like mush-
rooms, from the daylight, drill the
policeman to say “ the family have
gone out of town for the season.”
Port, but not Import.—You
seldom meet with a glass of
genuine old port; most of the
wine so called being no more than
elder-ly.
How to Force a Compliment.
— The heat of a hall-room is the
most efficient for this forcing.—It
remains to be proved whether the
compliment, like a pine-apple, is
any the sweeter for the forcing,
though it is very clear that the
frame of mind, in which a compli-
ment is generally forced, cannot
he filled by the most generous
warmth of feeling, or else it would
never think of forcing that which
will not come of its own free
I accord.
Old Lady. “Well, he has Grown;
POULTRY FANCIES.—THE PETS,
AND. REALLY, 1 THINK HE MIGHT LEAVE OFF THOSE FROCKS, AND HAVE A SUIT OF CLOTHES LIKE
his Brother’s.”
MONTHLY MEMS.
By a Cabby.
July.—Parties begins to go out
o’ town. Look out for luggage,wich
a reasonable quantity depends on
the fare. Unprotected females has
no right to hany, and always car-
ries most. If they lays it on yon,
you lay it on them.—N.B. People
as goes by train can’t stand a
wrangle. If your fare's in an ’urry
for an express, drive slow; you
may werry likely be too late, hut
you '11 get the same fare back
again, and wot’s the hodds to
you? You can’t distress your
master’s ’oss, unless it’s made |
worth your wile. Notybeany.— j
Never carry no change.
The Chinese State Surgeon.—
It is probable that the Chinese
Empire will be broken up by the
insurgents ; in which case the aid
c»f the celebrated Poo Loo will
probably be invoked to reunite the
smashed China.
Medical Experience.—A fast
young medical student who had
been plucked at the Hall, and
remanded at the Insolvent Court,
remarked that he had got more
credit out of his profession, than
in it.
The Eye of the Law.—This
eye, we are told, is getting so
dreadfully weak, that it is about
to advertise for an articled pupil.
Putting the Cart(e) before
the Horse.—This is done when
a groom gives his steed the choice
Of beans or oats.
How to Hedge with Profit '
to Yourself.—The best way to j
put up with offence, is to meet it '
with a Ha! ha!
The Jullien Era terminated
on .July 12th with the Bal Masque
at Drury Lane Theatre.
POULTRY FANCIES.
Naughty little Boy a “Cochin” it for throwing stones at the Fowls.
GARDENING OPERATIONS
FOR JULY.
{For Fashionable Mammas.)
Put your gold frames in muslin
hags, and cart away loose furniture
to ttie Pantechnicon. Calculate
the relative advantages of foreign,
as compared with English Hus-
bandry, and cultivate whichever
promises to yield the greatest pro-
fit. Cut your box at the Opera,
and look forward to Spa watering
for the autumn. Transplant the
elder branches of your establish-
ment to the seaside, and the
younger sprigs remove to the nur- j
sery. Iloo your tradesmen their j
bills for tlie season, and lay plants
to run up fresh ones at the place
you think of vegetating in. Graft
paper-slips on window-frames, la-
belled “ To Let,” and stick your
servants on board wages. Clear
out your husband’s purse; or, if he
> is rather backward this year, shut
him up in back kitchen; and,
screening yourselves, like mush-
rooms, from the daylight, drill the
policeman to say “ the family have
gone out of town for the season.”
Port, but not Import.—You
seldom meet with a glass of
genuine old port; most of the
wine so called being no more than
elder-ly.
How to Force a Compliment.
— The heat of a hall-room is the
most efficient for this forcing.—It
remains to be proved whether the
compliment, like a pine-apple, is
any the sweeter for the forcing,
though it is very clear that the
frame of mind, in which a compli-
ment is generally forced, cannot
he filled by the most generous
warmth of feeling, or else it would
never think of forcing that which
will not come of its own free
I accord.
Old Lady. “Well, he has Grown;
POULTRY FANCIES.—THE PETS,
AND. REALLY, 1 THINK HE MIGHT LEAVE OFF THOSE FROCKS, AND HAVE A SUIT OF CLOTHES LIKE
his Brother’s.”