DOI issue:
Punch's Almanack for 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17033#0003
PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOR 1856.
FACT FOR MARCH.
english history.
On the eighteenth we commemorate
Edward, King of the West Saxons. His
character presented a singular compound,
and he was himself fond of a singular com-
pound of methlegin, woad, and mangel
worzel, which he used to mingle in a bowl
before all his court, facetiously declaring,
that he liked to mix in company. To him
is attributed a saying, now confined to the
most stupid vulgar. At one of his orgies,
there was but a single pine torch lighted,
at which he was incensed. A courtier re-
marked, that though the guests were in
the dark, there was light enough for the
monarch. Edward imperiously replied,
" Throw a little light upou the subject!'
Sackcloth and Ashes. — A London
Alderman was heard to remark, that he
didn't so much mind living upon hashes
during Lent, but that as for the sackcloth,
he'd only take the first half of it.
The affectionate heart thinks it good to
have two strings to its beau; the volatile,
two beaux to its string. (Punch to the fair
reader. Affectionate or volatile?)
It is not impossible that the Mor-
monites may derive their name from the
fact, that some of them have Mor(e)-
mon-ey than wit.
The Most Honourable Order of the
Bath.—To order a Bath, and pay for it at
the time of giving the Order.
Good luck will drive hedge-hogs to
market, and when he gets'em there, will
find 'em all guinea-pigs.
Looking-Glass into a Frame.
Biographical.—Sir Isaac Newton whs
never married, lie thought more ot
Saturn's ring than Hymen's.
Scientific Problem. — If electricity
annihilates time, how about the electric
clock ?
A Novel Conundrum.—Why is a vacant
Episcopal See like a new Novel? Because
" the right of Translation is reserved."
Hint on Health.—For air and exercise
too many young ladies resort almost exclu-
sively to the piano.
MORAL FOR MARCH.
A bushel of March-winnow'd dust *fc-
Is worth, they say, a monarch's ransom;
Let Bomba save it—mobs don't trust;
For such a life such price were handsome.
Naval Intelligence.—A veterinary
surgeon, whose commission will bear date
the First of April, is about to be appointed
to every Regiment of Horse Marines.
High Art.—The highest specimens of
Art in London are undoubtedly Sir James
Thornhill's paintings in the dome of St.
Paul's.
HaiPy Land.—An ingenuous youth said,
he should like to go to school in Scotland,
because he understood it was the Land of
Cakes.
Contagion.—Several young ladies who
were accustomed to sit under a popular
preacher, became, consequently, much
affected.
Moor's Melodies.—The cry of the
grouse, the bark of the dogs, the crack of
the guns.
Chemistry fob Ladies.—Beef contains
nitrogen as well as oxygen.
A Brief Acquaintance.—That of the
Barrister with his Client.
What games could never be brought to
sixes and sevens ? All-Fours and Fives.
How Tradesmen should serve their
Customers.—With civility, without ser-
vility.
Definition for the Band of Hope.—
A Teetotaller is a personwho eats his toast
instead of drinking it.
Gardening Directions— Put Venus';: - ffMSj " ^^^^^^S'^^^^-^SS^gEZ:^^' Men and Insects.-The Ant subsists
WHAT A TERRIBLE TURK !
Oh ! Here's a jolly Snow Ball. Let 'a take and put it agin Somebody's Door ! :
by its own industry; the Uncle by that of
other people
Political Paradox.—Acts of Parlia-
ment will afford increased provisions,, but
not food.
Beware of the officious friend. He is
the too well-meaning man, who in the
pathway of the early bird would strew
worm-lozenges.
The Eglantine in Bloom.—A fox-
hunter has remarked, that he should say
the flower of all others with the finest
scent was the dog-rose.
A DELICATE COMPLIMENT
First Whip (who is a little ruffled because the Fox wout break). " Now, then, Sir! Out o' the Way, unless you'll get into the Cover. Mayhap, your Ugly Mug IMBf
frighten HlM out. COME up, 'oss !
FACT FOR MARCH.
english history.
On the eighteenth we commemorate
Edward, King of the West Saxons. His
character presented a singular compound,
and he was himself fond of a singular com-
pound of methlegin, woad, and mangel
worzel, which he used to mingle in a bowl
before all his court, facetiously declaring,
that he liked to mix in company. To him
is attributed a saying, now confined to the
most stupid vulgar. At one of his orgies,
there was but a single pine torch lighted,
at which he was incensed. A courtier re-
marked, that though the guests were in
the dark, there was light enough for the
monarch. Edward imperiously replied,
" Throw a little light upou the subject!'
Sackcloth and Ashes. — A London
Alderman was heard to remark, that he
didn't so much mind living upon hashes
during Lent, but that as for the sackcloth,
he'd only take the first half of it.
The affectionate heart thinks it good to
have two strings to its beau; the volatile,
two beaux to its string. (Punch to the fair
reader. Affectionate or volatile?)
It is not impossible that the Mor-
monites may derive their name from the
fact, that some of them have Mor(e)-
mon-ey than wit.
The Most Honourable Order of the
Bath.—To order a Bath, and pay for it at
the time of giving the Order.
Good luck will drive hedge-hogs to
market, and when he gets'em there, will
find 'em all guinea-pigs.
Looking-Glass into a Frame.
Biographical.—Sir Isaac Newton whs
never married, lie thought more ot
Saturn's ring than Hymen's.
Scientific Problem. — If electricity
annihilates time, how about the electric
clock ?
A Novel Conundrum.—Why is a vacant
Episcopal See like a new Novel? Because
" the right of Translation is reserved."
Hint on Health.—For air and exercise
too many young ladies resort almost exclu-
sively to the piano.
MORAL FOR MARCH.
A bushel of March-winnow'd dust *fc-
Is worth, they say, a monarch's ransom;
Let Bomba save it—mobs don't trust;
For such a life such price were handsome.
Naval Intelligence.—A veterinary
surgeon, whose commission will bear date
the First of April, is about to be appointed
to every Regiment of Horse Marines.
High Art.—The highest specimens of
Art in London are undoubtedly Sir James
Thornhill's paintings in the dome of St.
Paul's.
HaiPy Land.—An ingenuous youth said,
he should like to go to school in Scotland,
because he understood it was the Land of
Cakes.
Contagion.—Several young ladies who
were accustomed to sit under a popular
preacher, became, consequently, much
affected.
Moor's Melodies.—The cry of the
grouse, the bark of the dogs, the crack of
the guns.
Chemistry fob Ladies.—Beef contains
nitrogen as well as oxygen.
A Brief Acquaintance.—That of the
Barrister with his Client.
What games could never be brought to
sixes and sevens ? All-Fours and Fives.
How Tradesmen should serve their
Customers.—With civility, without ser-
vility.
Definition for the Band of Hope.—
A Teetotaller is a personwho eats his toast
instead of drinking it.
Gardening Directions— Put Venus';: - ffMSj " ^^^^^^S'^^^^-^SS^gEZ:^^' Men and Insects.-The Ant subsists
WHAT A TERRIBLE TURK !
Oh ! Here's a jolly Snow Ball. Let 'a take and put it agin Somebody's Door ! :
by its own industry; the Uncle by that of
other people
Political Paradox.—Acts of Parlia-
ment will afford increased provisions,, but
not food.
Beware of the officious friend. He is
the too well-meaning man, who in the
pathway of the early bird would strew
worm-lozenges.
The Eglantine in Bloom.—A fox-
hunter has remarked, that he should say
the flower of all others with the finest
scent was the dog-rose.
A DELICATE COMPLIMENT
First Whip (who is a little ruffled because the Fox wout break). " Now, then, Sir! Out o' the Way, unless you'll get into the Cover. Mayhap, your Ugly Mug IMBf
frighten HlM out. COME up, 'oss !