DOI issue:
Punch's Almanack for 1856
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17033#0005
PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOR 1856.
PUBLIC IMPROVEMENTS IN 1856.
A Government Clicks in 1854 (reading
a Newspaper).—"Attend to you directly 1
Can't you see I'm busy ? "
A Government Clerk in 1856 {hard at
his desk).—" I shall be happy, Sir, as soon
as I have calculated the precise amount of
the Legacy Duty for this good lady, to give
you all the information you require. Will
you be kind enough to take a seat? "
A Carman in 1854.—"Call yourself a
genelman? If you can't afford to ride, vy
don't you valk ? "
A Carman in 1856.—"The fare is very
low, Sir; but still, as every sixpence is an
object, I am extremely obliged to you. Be
careful of the step, Sir."
moral for mat.
Welcome are all its flowers and bowers,
As guests when one has bidden 'em;
But you 're not welcome to the flowers,
Mind this, when down at Sydenham.
Economv in Beating Carpets.—When
you purchase your Carpets, take care to buy
one that is infinitely superior to all the rest;
for such a Carpet will beat every other
Carpet you have in the house.
Cruel Kindness.—The parish would
present Mr. Dobbs with a silver cake-
basket, and Mrs. Dobbs, (it is the com-
plaint of D.) will ruin him in giving parties
to show it.—Beware of testimonials.
Hope for young Beginners.— All
things are possible to perseverance. Mr.
Punch once knew a spider that resolved
to spin nothing short of whipcord, and the
spider did it.
Astronomical.—Venus is seen without
a Coronet, and influenza attacks a foreign
crowned head. Let the sister of King
Bomba look to it.
What an Idea!—A fashionable young
lady, hearing of Coleridge's Aids to Be-
I flection, wished to know if they were toilette
" candles t
Culinary Aphorism.—It is not the sweet
, pea that makes the soup.
Dn minores.—The Policeman whose beat
| is in " the Minories." OFFKNDED DIGNITY.
A Coming Court Circular.—Yesterday Sman Sv.„n !w7ln p,H finished a Quadrille). " H'm, thank goodness, that's over ' Don't
Omar Pasha attended ar, the fancy ball at oive me your bread and butter Misses to Dance with. I like your grown Womkn of
Buckingham ralace,as Jack-m-tlie-Green, the World! "-(JV.JS. The bread and butter Miss has asked him, how old he was, and when he went
finding his own laurels. back to School.) j Srass
FACT FOR MAY.
topographical history.
St. Dunstan is commemor_ ted on the
nineteenth. It is not generally known,
that there were two saints of this name,
so much alike that they were always
tumbling over one another's miracles, and
generally getting into muddles. At last
the more intelligent of the two purchased
for himself a very splendid waistcoat, in
which he appealed upon all occasions, re-
marking, " There can be no mistake now,
as everybody can see I am St. Dunstan
in the West"
REASONS FOR WEARING A
MOUSTACHE.
We have been able to draw up a table
of the different reasons for wearing a
Moustache. We have questioned not less
than 100U persons so adorned, and their
answers have helped us to the following
result:—
To avoid shaving .................... 69
To avoid catching cold ............. 32
To hide their leer b ...... ...... 5
To take away from a prorxincm nose 5
To avoid being taken as an bug ishj.au
abroad........................... 7
Because they are in the army........ 6
Because they have been in the army . 221
Because Prince Albert does it...... 2
Because it is anistie.................. 2y
Bi cause you are a singer ........ .. 3
r ecause you travt-1 a deal............ 17
Because you have lived long on the
Continent ..................... 3
Bt cause thewife likes it............ 8
Because you have weit lungs ...... 5
Because it acts as a respirator ...... -9
Because it is healchy .......... 77
Because the young Jaoies admire it . 471
Because it is coos dered ''the thing" , '0
Because he chooses............... i
It will be seen from the above Table,
that not one person confesses to " Vanity "
being the motive. The majority of persons
wear a moustache because they imagine in
their conceit that it becomes them, but
how rarely yon meet with a person who has
the courage to admit it?
Temperance among the Working
Classes.— A strike amongst workmen who
have taken the pledge may be regarded as
a case of tea and turn out.
Why is the tail of a Peacock like an
autobiography ?—Because it is a tail of I's
(eyes).
A Wise Saw and a Modern Instance.
—Sparrows are not caught with sparrow-
FLY-FISHING. A NICE RIPPLE ON THE WATER.—"NOW FOR A BIG ONE!"
PUBLIC IMPROVEMENTS IN 1856.
A Government Clicks in 1854 (reading
a Newspaper).—"Attend to you directly 1
Can't you see I'm busy ? "
A Government Clerk in 1856 {hard at
his desk).—" I shall be happy, Sir, as soon
as I have calculated the precise amount of
the Legacy Duty for this good lady, to give
you all the information you require. Will
you be kind enough to take a seat? "
A Carman in 1854.—"Call yourself a
genelman? If you can't afford to ride, vy
don't you valk ? "
A Carman in 1856.—"The fare is very
low, Sir; but still, as every sixpence is an
object, I am extremely obliged to you. Be
careful of the step, Sir."
moral for mat.
Welcome are all its flowers and bowers,
As guests when one has bidden 'em;
But you 're not welcome to the flowers,
Mind this, when down at Sydenham.
Economv in Beating Carpets.—When
you purchase your Carpets, take care to buy
one that is infinitely superior to all the rest;
for such a Carpet will beat every other
Carpet you have in the house.
Cruel Kindness.—The parish would
present Mr. Dobbs with a silver cake-
basket, and Mrs. Dobbs, (it is the com-
plaint of D.) will ruin him in giving parties
to show it.—Beware of testimonials.
Hope for young Beginners.— All
things are possible to perseverance. Mr.
Punch once knew a spider that resolved
to spin nothing short of whipcord, and the
spider did it.
Astronomical.—Venus is seen without
a Coronet, and influenza attacks a foreign
crowned head. Let the sister of King
Bomba look to it.
What an Idea!—A fashionable young
lady, hearing of Coleridge's Aids to Be-
I flection, wished to know if they were toilette
" candles t
Culinary Aphorism.—It is not the sweet
, pea that makes the soup.
Dn minores.—The Policeman whose beat
| is in " the Minories." OFFKNDED DIGNITY.
A Coming Court Circular.—Yesterday Sman Sv.„n !w7ln p,H finished a Quadrille). " H'm, thank goodness, that's over ' Don't
Omar Pasha attended ar, the fancy ball at oive me your bread and butter Misses to Dance with. I like your grown Womkn of
Buckingham ralace,as Jack-m-tlie-Green, the World! "-(JV.JS. The bread and butter Miss has asked him, how old he was, and when he went
finding his own laurels. back to School.) j Srass
FACT FOR MAY.
topographical history.
St. Dunstan is commemor_ ted on the
nineteenth. It is not generally known,
that there were two saints of this name,
so much alike that they were always
tumbling over one another's miracles, and
generally getting into muddles. At last
the more intelligent of the two purchased
for himself a very splendid waistcoat, in
which he appealed upon all occasions, re-
marking, " There can be no mistake now,
as everybody can see I am St. Dunstan
in the West"
REASONS FOR WEARING A
MOUSTACHE.
We have been able to draw up a table
of the different reasons for wearing a
Moustache. We have questioned not less
than 100U persons so adorned, and their
answers have helped us to the following
result:—
To avoid shaving .................... 69
To avoid catching cold ............. 32
To hide their leer b ...... ...... 5
To take away from a prorxincm nose 5
To avoid being taken as an bug ishj.au
abroad........................... 7
Because they are in the army........ 6
Because they have been in the army . 221
Because Prince Albert does it...... 2
Because it is anistie.................. 2y
Bi cause you are a singer ........ .. 3
r ecause you travt-1 a deal............ 17
Because you have lived long on the
Continent ..................... 3
Bt cause thewife likes it............ 8
Because you have weit lungs ...... 5
Because it acts as a respirator ...... -9
Because it is healchy .......... 77
Because the young Jaoies admire it . 471
Because it is coos dered ''the thing" , '0
Because he chooses............... i
It will be seen from the above Table,
that not one person confesses to " Vanity "
being the motive. The majority of persons
wear a moustache because they imagine in
their conceit that it becomes them, but
how rarely yon meet with a person who has
the courage to admit it?
Temperance among the Working
Classes.— A strike amongst workmen who
have taken the pledge may be regarded as
a case of tea and turn out.
Why is the tail of a Peacock like an
autobiography ?—Because it is a tail of I's
(eyes).
A Wise Saw and a Modern Instance.
—Sparrows are not caught with sparrow-
FLY-FISHING. A NICE RIPPLE ON THE WATER.—"NOW FOR A BIG ONE!"