Punch / Almanack (1856)

PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOR 185(3.

JOKES ON
JUDGES.

Thkre is an affinity
between the ermine
and the motley. Great
Judges will often in-
dulge in small jokes.
Those who relish le-
gal fun should repair
to the Courts of Law
in Hilary Term, when
their Lordships may
naturally be expected
to be most hilarious.

moral foe july.

®ff to the Rhine, the
Rhone, the Po;
To Belgio flats, or
Switzer hills,
Off, but takeoff, before
you go,
Somethinf, with
cash, from trades-
men's bills,.

Labour & Wages.
—During the rain of
St. Swithin, which
occurs about harvest,
time, it is in vain for
the reaper to expect a
fair day's wages for a
fair day's work.

Sickness Extraor-
dinary.—Last week
a man bolted a door,
and threw up a win-
dow 1

Civic Salutation.
— May your shadow
never be greater!

THINGS ARE SO BAD IN THE CITY, THAT MR. SNAFFLE AND MR. FLUKER GO TO

BOULOGNE FOR CHANGE AND AIR.

FACT FOR JULY.

monkish history.

The fifteenth is St.
Swithin's day. The
vulgar error that con-
nects this saint with
bad weather, and con-
founds him with Sr.
Aquarius, cannot be
too generally refuted.
I f anything, the for-
mer saint was too
dry; and the legend
that much rain follows
his aupearauce was
founded on a saying
prevalent in his con-
vent. When it was
his turn to be the
butler, he was very
liberal with the li-
quor, and the monks
used to say, " Here
comes Swithin the
Soaker. Gramercy,
i'fackius, by our Lady,
anon we shall have
much heavy wet."

AGRICULTURAL.
CHEMISTRY.

The following ques-
tion is from the Ex-
amination Papers of
Cirencester College :
—When Homer spoke
of Juno as " the ox-
eyed" what oxide did
he probably refer to ?

It's a long lane tha t
has no turning, was
first said of Chancery
Lane, and it has never
turned yet.

Great News for the Drama.—Mr. Fitzbosh, under the
lunation of the present month, buys a bottle of ink, takes
off his coat, and goes to work on a new Central American play
for the Aztecs: the distinguished antiquarian Odsbodlikins
supplies the authorities.

The Russian Calendar adheres to what is called the Old
Style, and is twe've days in arrear of all the rest of Europe.
This accounts for Russia being so much behind the time.

Paradox of Insect Life.—The habits of the spider are
stationary. He seldom travels far from the locality in which
he first saw the light. It is curious that the spider should
travel so little, and yet be continually taking flies.

Ideas of Animated Nature.-" All is not gold that glit-
ters," as the slug said to the shiny beetle. When the wild
yoose related this to the porpoise, the latter answered, " Nei-
ther are we fishes because we swim.''

For Better and for Worse.— A Philosopher who had
married a vulgar but amiable girl, used to call his wife
" Brown Sugar," because, he said, she was sweet but unre-
fined. Another, whose wife was affectionate and stuut, was
accustomed to denominate her, " Lump Sugar."

When Bachelor Brown, at fifty-five, married his plain
cook, is it the opinion of the unbiassed reader that he made a
Virtue of Necessity?

OLD DIPrS DECLARES THEY MANAGE SEA-BATHING BETTER IN FRANCE, AND THAT WHEN HE IS AT BO-LONG,

HE DOES AS BU-LONG DOES—WELL ! THAT 'S A MATTER OF TASTE !