DOI Page / Citation link:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17045#0010
PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOR 1858.
THE PLEASANT LETTER-WRITER.
October.
From a Solicitor to his Noble Client.
Lincoln's Inn Fields.
AIy Dear Lord,
As I may not be back from my
little shooting excursion when your Lord-
ship returns from the Continent, I send
this letter to await your arrival. It is
only to say, which I do with much re-
gret, that on the night of the 15th in-
stant, your fine new mansion, Portcullis
Castle, was burned to the ground. The
library, plate, pictures, and furniture are
entirely consumed; but several casks of
wino were saved from the cellars, but
drunk by the peasantry who came as
spectators. The cause is unknown,
unless it originated with the child of the
housekeeper, who was staying with her
mother, and, child-like, persisted in
forcing hicifers into various cracks in the
floors, though several times warned against
the practice. You will be happy to hear
that no lives were lost. I also regret to
add, that my clerk accidentally omitted
to enter in my diary a memorandum to
pay your fire-assurance, and the policy
had expired a few days before the fire. I
have reprimanded him.
I am, my dear Lord,
Yours very obediently,
Flashbury Bano.
Right Hon. the Earl Squashington.
RECREATIONS IN NATTTRat
HISTORY.
The unfortunate allegation ot the v
losopher-that the Salamander coum
sist the action of fire, has proved fata/8"
many a poor lizard, and "effut," wh0 lt0
fallen a victim to the cruel ignorance
credulity of smatterers. But, thougk"4
European reptile has the faculty so riS°
culously ascribed to it, the pmlosonW
speculation has, strange to say, recti, 5
singular corroboration from South aL
rica. The Baclmela IndianB, nomir,58'
subjects of Brazil, but realty ApaCUe2J
domesticate an animal strongly re,.*1
bling the Salamander. It is very ^
larger, being the size of a well-grown W
foundland dog, and is black, with whu"
spots at regular distances. It j8 T"*
docile, but may easily he excited when
light seems to stream out from the'romS
spots (evidently a phosphoric phenom
enon), and the Bachuela women are in a'
habit of*irritating the creature with,
toasting-fork or other implement
APHORISMS UPON TIGHT-LACING.
A Narrowness of waist betrays a nar-
rowness of mind. When the ribs are
contracted, it is a sure sign that the in-
tellect is also.
Better to have good lungs and what,
in the wisdom of Le Follet, is considered a
bad figure, than by a tight corset to get a
better shape and a worse constitution.
When a pair of stays comes in at the
door, health paired with happiness, flies
out of the window.
She who, from tight-lacing, cannot
draw a long breath, will probably in no
long time have no breath at all to draw.
What 's bred in the whalebone will
eventually "come out" in the visits of
the doctor.
Give me the unmaking of a lady's stays,
and I care not who makes up her dresses.
they want to find anything in the dart
When an Indian village takes fire, the!l
affectionate lizards are sent into the
flames, and they frisk and disport in
the fire like dogs in the water, and
bring cut every article in safety, Thw
have a great love for red-haired peoplt
and a traveller who possessed the ail
vantage of fiery locks was so incessantly
fondled and licked by the Salamander
that he was obliged to have his head
shaved to avoid their attentions.
Know Thyself.—How vain is the i
If you want a thing done, do it Yourself." Thk-re can ee no reason why the I tempt of the natural philosopher tonal
Girls shouldn't Bress themselves, so that Parker this maid may go to her Bancing i an oyster clearly understand thatheii
Academy ! bivalve!
BRESSING-ROOM RHYMES.
How fast she's dressed ! Ah, she hag &m
me, Brown:
Meaning to grab the Times before I'm I
down.
Those brats! And she, because it aggra.1
vates,
Tells them to take my sponge to cleapjn
their slates.
I'm still good-looking, and but s':ight|J
grey.
But she! Well, well, I threw myself anf
g in
0 "A/*> --t^^N
PHEASANT SHOOTING. A WARM CORNER.
THE PLEASANT LETTER-WRITER.
October.
From a Solicitor to his Noble Client.
Lincoln's Inn Fields.
AIy Dear Lord,
As I may not be back from my
little shooting excursion when your Lord-
ship returns from the Continent, I send
this letter to await your arrival. It is
only to say, which I do with much re-
gret, that on the night of the 15th in-
stant, your fine new mansion, Portcullis
Castle, was burned to the ground. The
library, plate, pictures, and furniture are
entirely consumed; but several casks of
wino were saved from the cellars, but
drunk by the peasantry who came as
spectators. The cause is unknown,
unless it originated with the child of the
housekeeper, who was staying with her
mother, and, child-like, persisted in
forcing hicifers into various cracks in the
floors, though several times warned against
the practice. You will be happy to hear
that no lives were lost. I also regret to
add, that my clerk accidentally omitted
to enter in my diary a memorandum to
pay your fire-assurance, and the policy
had expired a few days before the fire. I
have reprimanded him.
I am, my dear Lord,
Yours very obediently,
Flashbury Bano.
Right Hon. the Earl Squashington.
RECREATIONS IN NATTTRat
HISTORY.
The unfortunate allegation ot the v
losopher-that the Salamander coum
sist the action of fire, has proved fata/8"
many a poor lizard, and "effut," wh0 lt0
fallen a victim to the cruel ignorance
credulity of smatterers. But, thougk"4
European reptile has the faculty so riS°
culously ascribed to it, the pmlosonW
speculation has, strange to say, recti, 5
singular corroboration from South aL
rica. The Baclmela IndianB, nomir,58'
subjects of Brazil, but realty ApaCUe2J
domesticate an animal strongly re,.*1
bling the Salamander. It is very ^
larger, being the size of a well-grown W
foundland dog, and is black, with whu"
spots at regular distances. It j8 T"*
docile, but may easily he excited when
light seems to stream out from the'romS
spots (evidently a phosphoric phenom
enon), and the Bachuela women are in a'
habit of*irritating the creature with,
toasting-fork or other implement
APHORISMS UPON TIGHT-LACING.
A Narrowness of waist betrays a nar-
rowness of mind. When the ribs are
contracted, it is a sure sign that the in-
tellect is also.
Better to have good lungs and what,
in the wisdom of Le Follet, is considered a
bad figure, than by a tight corset to get a
better shape and a worse constitution.
When a pair of stays comes in at the
door, health paired with happiness, flies
out of the window.
She who, from tight-lacing, cannot
draw a long breath, will probably in no
long time have no breath at all to draw.
What 's bred in the whalebone will
eventually "come out" in the visits of
the doctor.
Give me the unmaking of a lady's stays,
and I care not who makes up her dresses.
they want to find anything in the dart
When an Indian village takes fire, the!l
affectionate lizards are sent into the
flames, and they frisk and disport in
the fire like dogs in the water, and
bring cut every article in safety, Thw
have a great love for red-haired peoplt
and a traveller who possessed the ail
vantage of fiery locks was so incessantly
fondled and licked by the Salamander
that he was obliged to have his head
shaved to avoid their attentions.
Know Thyself.—How vain is the i
If you want a thing done, do it Yourself." Thk-re can ee no reason why the I tempt of the natural philosopher tonal
Girls shouldn't Bress themselves, so that Parker this maid may go to her Bancing i an oyster clearly understand thatheii
Academy ! bivalve!
BRESSING-ROOM RHYMES.
How fast she's dressed ! Ah, she hag &m
me, Brown:
Meaning to grab the Times before I'm I
down.
Those brats! And she, because it aggra.1
vates,
Tells them to take my sponge to cleapjn
their slates.
I'm still good-looking, and but s':ight|J
grey.
But she! Well, well, I threw myself anf
g in
0 "A/*> --t^^N
PHEASANT SHOOTING. A WARM CORNER.