DOI Heft:
Punch’s Almanack for 1864
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17019#0002
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOE 1864
OUR GROWLING BARD.
PRELUDE.
We live in changes, which imply
Improvements, as some men
assert.
I change my money, and my
shirt,
But that the world improves,
deny.
Revered old Punch, accord me
space
In this your royal Almanack :
For, through the Months, I
hope to smack
Improvement on its insolent
face.
We ride in railway cars where
Flares bright, that he who
rides may read:
Why, let the blockhead, but,
indeed,
A railway reader is an Ass.
The Public's eyes are dimmed
and wrung
From reading when they didn’t
ought.
And penny wisdom’s dearly
bought
At | price of eyesight lost when
young.
Ornamental Water. — The
most ornamental is that which
has the most wavy curls playing
round a quantity of pretty little
ducks.
The Impertinence l-—1The rea-
son why ladies’ watches are
made of the diminutive size they
are, is because time is generally
such a very small object in a
lady’s eyes.
THE SENSATION NOVEL.
OUR GROfl"' j
. |)f'
A WISE is toucIie y
hands, ajts w ,
(That ever J
sparks) . flies*
And lightt&e* j
Ana ng^*~ .
remarks # *
To distant ^
lands. ^
lanus.
The foreign
sereuA'j #
Transcribe
so plain’.-.
For Jam*
Grant i,as <“
Writes Jam*
Green.
notes ag#
S Tt.SS>f
mend.
zstfeMl»
and Capi^.g iine3 J aty
shares in yj1 j0q, m/
Now ’syoUV-/(;.
A
Clara. “Yes, dear. I’ve got the last one down, and it’s Perfectly Delicious. A Man Marries his
Grandmother—Fourteen Persons are Poisoned by a young and beautiful Girl—Forgeries by the
dozen—Robberies, Hangings; in fact, full of Delightful Horrors! ”
THE SUN IN “ THE SIGNS.”
ARIES.
Bright Phcebus at The Ram ascends his car,
But first partakes of something at the Bar.
His rays illumine ale of amber, old,
Or turn a pewter-pot to burnished gold.
A Commercial Truth.—Money,, like a boot, when it’s
tight, is extremely trying.
STREET MORALS.
Friend Cacklfs, doubtless, knows a lot,
His sentiments are very fine,
But ’twill be best to see iiim not,
When you are hurrying home to dine.
Definition.—The capability for describing from personal
experience the highest points in a mountainous region, is
called, a Top-ographical knowledge.
THE SUN IN “ THE s
TAURUS.
__
Where he pulls up, and T
Glorious Apollo now
Earth’s signs arrest the dj
So do the public-houses
-A. iW
The First Law of Nature-"*1
| Theatre on the first night—is Order*
OUR GROWLING BARD.
PRELUDE.
We live in changes, which imply
Improvements, as some men
assert.
I change my money, and my
shirt,
But that the world improves,
deny.
Revered old Punch, accord me
space
In this your royal Almanack :
For, through the Months, I
hope to smack
Improvement on its insolent
face.
We ride in railway cars where
Flares bright, that he who
rides may read:
Why, let the blockhead, but,
indeed,
A railway reader is an Ass.
The Public's eyes are dimmed
and wrung
From reading when they didn’t
ought.
And penny wisdom’s dearly
bought
At | price of eyesight lost when
young.
Ornamental Water. — The
most ornamental is that which
has the most wavy curls playing
round a quantity of pretty little
ducks.
The Impertinence l-—1The rea-
son why ladies’ watches are
made of the diminutive size they
are, is because time is generally
such a very small object in a
lady’s eyes.
THE SENSATION NOVEL.
OUR GROfl"' j
. |)f'
A WISE is toucIie y
hands, ajts w ,
(That ever J
sparks) . flies*
And lightt&e* j
Ana ng^*~ .
remarks # *
To distant ^
lands. ^
lanus.
The foreign
sereuA'j #
Transcribe
so plain’.-.
For Jam*
Grant i,as <“
Writes Jam*
Green.
notes ag#
S Tt.SS>f
mend.
zstfeMl»
and Capi^.g iine3 J aty
shares in yj1 j0q, m/
Now ’syoUV-/(;.
A
Clara. “Yes, dear. I’ve got the last one down, and it’s Perfectly Delicious. A Man Marries his
Grandmother—Fourteen Persons are Poisoned by a young and beautiful Girl—Forgeries by the
dozen—Robberies, Hangings; in fact, full of Delightful Horrors! ”
THE SUN IN “ THE SIGNS.”
ARIES.
Bright Phcebus at The Ram ascends his car,
But first partakes of something at the Bar.
His rays illumine ale of amber, old,
Or turn a pewter-pot to burnished gold.
A Commercial Truth.—Money,, like a boot, when it’s
tight, is extremely trying.
STREET MORALS.
Friend Cacklfs, doubtless, knows a lot,
His sentiments are very fine,
But ’twill be best to see iiim not,
When you are hurrying home to dine.
Definition.—The capability for describing from personal
experience the highest points in a mountainous region, is
called, a Top-ographical knowledge.
THE SUN IN “ THE s
TAURUS.
__
Where he pulls up, and T
Glorious Apollo now
Earth’s signs arrest the dj
So do the public-houses
-A. iW
The First Law of Nature-"*1
| Theatre on the first night—is Order*