DOI Heft:
Punch’s Almanack for 1864
DOI Seite / Zitierlink: https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17019#0003
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOE 1864.
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wonth.
fltfin V ConWnetion:
^,>d^WSsednaine
\ l his hL^Us^au^Vereai‘ it
'5?^2ib8PRiNG-
yth°w^-
^.«C »
^edw®thy
N\!lweuth:
that1® with
%P «e wm0 « your
{.i So°n be
<v, *'»..«"*>■
^aoo.
Uai,cc>ai ^ an'
v. - Landlady. “ Ye
WAS A-GOING
—
h^i'i?8 is bid ’ ttf'V*0 not l!lugb,
0fS,¥<* is d°A
BOARD AND LODGING!
» Sir, the Board were certingly to be a Guinea a Week, but I didn’t know as you
o Bathe in the Sea before Breakfast and take Bottles of Tonic during the day ! ”
A GROAN FROM THE
SPEAKER’S CHAIR.
M. P. when he gets on his legs
should bear in mind that the
standing order demands concise-
ness, and he should, therefore,
trip lightly over the heads of his
argument. In this respect the
orator of St. Stephens may take
a hint from the coiffmr of a Na-
tional School, who having heads
to dispose of with all possible
despatch, is not particular to a
hair, but cuts it short.
A STORY FROM SUFFOLK.
Hodge to the Squire’s once went
to dine,
And drank his fill of beer and
wine.
Next day, being asked how he
had fared,
Says he, “D’yow know I summut
stared
That arter guttlin’ soup an’ fish,
An’ weuson in a silver dish,
Plumpoodden, an’ sich things as
these.
They browt me in plain bread
and cheese! ”
Chesterfield’s Advice to his
Newly Married Son.—Never
interrupt ladies when speaking,
—you may hear of something to
your advantage If there is any
exception to this rule, it is per-
haps where one of the inter-
locutors is your mother-in-law.
Facts in Physics.—A bashful
gentleman happening to meet in
the street a lady of Ms acquaint-
ance for whom he entertained a
budding affection, suddenly lost
his head and dropped his eyes.
The case has been referred to an
eminent surgeon.
“ Well, he’s not handsome, in the least,”
Say those to whom your portrait’s shown,
Though in your wife’s eye, and your own,
You’re rather a good-looking beast.
A favourite dish of the wild animal hunter, Gordon
Cumming, is Sawi$s<>ns de Lyons.
THE SUN IN “ THE SIGNS.”
GEMINI.
Delius to feel the call of thirst begins
Again, and checks his cattle at The Twins ;
The Jove-born Chicken and Ledsean Pet
Detain him o’er a pint of heavy wet.
Mum
MUST really BEG THAT YOU WILL TELL ME YOUR FARE. I CANNOT BE SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOUR BUSINESS I ”
THINK WE SHALL FALL HOUT.—LET’S SAY, THREE BOB AND A KlCK 1 ”
i, '■*’ oj ——
wonth.
fltfin V ConWnetion:
^,>d^WSsednaine
\ l his hL^Us^au^Vereai‘ it
'5?^2ib8PRiNG-
yth°w^-
^.«C »
^edw®thy
N\!lweuth:
that1® with
%P «e wm0 « your
{.i So°n be
<v, *'»..«"*>■
^aoo.
Uai,cc>ai ^ an'
v. - Landlady. “ Ye
WAS A-GOING
—
h^i'i?8 is bid ’ ttf'V*0 not l!lugb,
0fS,¥<* is d°A
BOARD AND LODGING!
» Sir, the Board were certingly to be a Guinea a Week, but I didn’t know as you
o Bathe in the Sea before Breakfast and take Bottles of Tonic during the day ! ”
A GROAN FROM THE
SPEAKER’S CHAIR.
M. P. when he gets on his legs
should bear in mind that the
standing order demands concise-
ness, and he should, therefore,
trip lightly over the heads of his
argument. In this respect the
orator of St. Stephens may take
a hint from the coiffmr of a Na-
tional School, who having heads
to dispose of with all possible
despatch, is not particular to a
hair, but cuts it short.
A STORY FROM SUFFOLK.
Hodge to the Squire’s once went
to dine,
And drank his fill of beer and
wine.
Next day, being asked how he
had fared,
Says he, “D’yow know I summut
stared
That arter guttlin’ soup an’ fish,
An’ weuson in a silver dish,
Plumpoodden, an’ sich things as
these.
They browt me in plain bread
and cheese! ”
Chesterfield’s Advice to his
Newly Married Son.—Never
interrupt ladies when speaking,
—you may hear of something to
your advantage If there is any
exception to this rule, it is per-
haps where one of the inter-
locutors is your mother-in-law.
Facts in Physics.—A bashful
gentleman happening to meet in
the street a lady of Ms acquaint-
ance for whom he entertained a
budding affection, suddenly lost
his head and dropped his eyes.
The case has been referred to an
eminent surgeon.
“ Well, he’s not handsome, in the least,”
Say those to whom your portrait’s shown,
Though in your wife’s eye, and your own,
You’re rather a good-looking beast.
A favourite dish of the wild animal hunter, Gordon
Cumming, is Sawi$s<>ns de Lyons.
THE SUN IN “ THE SIGNS.”
GEMINI.
Delius to feel the call of thirst begins
Again, and checks his cattle at The Twins ;
The Jove-born Chicken and Ledsean Pet
Detain him o’er a pint of heavy wet.
Mum
MUST really BEG THAT YOU WILL TELL ME YOUR FARE. I CANNOT BE SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOUR BUSINESS I ”
THINK WE SHALL FALL HOUT.—LET’S SAY, THREE BOB AND A KlCK 1 ”