DOI issue:
Punch's Almanack for 1873
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17048#0008
December 17, 1872.]
PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOE 1873.
" IT 'S AN ILL WIND," &c.
" Oh, Papa ! what do you think ? Pour out of our Twelve Boxes are Missing."
" Hurrah ! By George ! that's the bhnt Piece of News I've had for a Long Time."
EVENTS OF THE PAST YEAR.
Educational. — Large attendances at the
School for Scandal.
Chemical.—Drugs in the market.
£otan:cal. —Turning ever a new leaf.
Military. — March of intellect.
Naval.—Blowing great guns.
Meteorological.—Showers of circular*.
Surgical.—An infusion of new blood.
Agricultural. — Corney Grain very
amusing.
Commercial. —Number of far-fetched
jokes, according to the import returns,
slightly in excess of the year 1871.
Philanthropic.—Advice freely given
Scientific.—Aquariums going on swim-
mingly."
Fjri^t>ig.—Ploughing in Oxfordshire.
Grazing.—Scraping your shins.
THE DOUBLE DAY IN NOVEMBER.
Phoebus, with unclouded ray,
Evermore for London shine
On November's twice third day ;
Heed the number of th\ Nine.
With the Crown that never fails
Hymn we then the Civic Chair.
Then was born the Prince of Wales ;
Then comes in the New Lord Mayor.
Phcebe, being not elsewhere
Absent, shed th y light serene
Though in every thoroughfare
Stars of gaslight mock thy sheen ;
While the People rend tho air
Shouting, o'er their grogs and ales,
Glory to the new Lord MaYOR :
Ditto to the Prince of Wales.
There was a Young Lady called Lily,
Say, was she or was she not silly ?
She rejected a hand
Bringing riches and land,
Because she disliked the name "Billy."
strike. The bread itself looked " sad."
Odd Thing.—To encore a song, and to
be quite satisfied when another is sung
in its stead.
Mean Thing. — To ask for discount
when you buy the wedding-ring.
Christmas Holiday T.*sk. — Pram,
without examination.
A SONG WITHOUT SENSE.
(Adapted for Slow and Sentimental Music.)
0 who will o'er the moon so free,
O who will gaily ride
Upon a rocking-horse with me,
That carries twelve inside ?
1 promised her a slice of cake,
Made by a kangaroo :
Alas ! my brittle heart will break,
For all in vain I woo.
How fondly I recall the time,
When, sitting on the stile,
We heard the beetle's drowsy chime,
And saw the cuckoo smile !
But now no more the beetle sings,
The birds are silent too,
For tho' I've bought four wedding-rings,
'Tis all in vain I woo.
MONEY AND MATRIMONY.
For thy meteors, mcist November, oft
I've watched till late at night.
O that in my little garden there would
fall an aerolite,
Having withinside a diamond which
would for a million sell!
No man now upon less money could
afford to marry well.
DOMESTIC PETS.
Every dog must have his day ;
And every cat her night.
This is the sort of thing men say
When they have gotten tight.
There was a Young Lady called Flory,
In goodness she placed all her glory,
And boxed both her sisters'
Four ears into blisters,
Because they had told her a story.
December Answer to January s Prize
Charade.—But-ton.
c . . . v -Ov>, A < 1 \ \ The man who is equal to himself is
□ i™PAT,HY- - ThinP ™e \ Serl°T ■ C^1 ^ \\ V XV^L^K * VN generally a match for others,
aspect when the Bakers threatened to \\ )S\ . Wvv fCfcitf^*^ v \ I J _
DISTANCE LENDS," &c.
Wiry Keeper. " That's our Ground, Sir, just round that furthest Hill."
[Brown (from Loudon), who had understood his Moor was within easy distance from the
Railway Station, and has bten walking for the last Two Hours, and hasn't " a Dry
Thread," Caves In.
How to Roll in Wealth.—Marry a
rich carriage-maker's daughter.
Unseasonable Thing.—To say " Good
morning " on a very foggy day.
A Court Circular.—From a Royal
Tradesman.
A " Young Shaver."—A barber's baby.
A Large Family Party.—All of us !
Vol. 64
PUNCH'S ALMANACK FOE 1873.
" IT 'S AN ILL WIND," &c.
" Oh, Papa ! what do you think ? Pour out of our Twelve Boxes are Missing."
" Hurrah ! By George ! that's the bhnt Piece of News I've had for a Long Time."
EVENTS OF THE PAST YEAR.
Educational. — Large attendances at the
School for Scandal.
Chemical.—Drugs in the market.
£otan:cal. —Turning ever a new leaf.
Military. — March of intellect.
Naval.—Blowing great guns.
Meteorological.—Showers of circular*.
Surgical.—An infusion of new blood.
Agricultural. — Corney Grain very
amusing.
Commercial. —Number of far-fetched
jokes, according to the import returns,
slightly in excess of the year 1871.
Philanthropic.—Advice freely given
Scientific.—Aquariums going on swim-
mingly."
Fjri^t>ig.—Ploughing in Oxfordshire.
Grazing.—Scraping your shins.
THE DOUBLE DAY IN NOVEMBER.
Phoebus, with unclouded ray,
Evermore for London shine
On November's twice third day ;
Heed the number of th\ Nine.
With the Crown that never fails
Hymn we then the Civic Chair.
Then was born the Prince of Wales ;
Then comes in the New Lord Mayor.
Phcebe, being not elsewhere
Absent, shed th y light serene
Though in every thoroughfare
Stars of gaslight mock thy sheen ;
While the People rend tho air
Shouting, o'er their grogs and ales,
Glory to the new Lord MaYOR :
Ditto to the Prince of Wales.
There was a Young Lady called Lily,
Say, was she or was she not silly ?
She rejected a hand
Bringing riches and land,
Because she disliked the name "Billy."
strike. The bread itself looked " sad."
Odd Thing.—To encore a song, and to
be quite satisfied when another is sung
in its stead.
Mean Thing. — To ask for discount
when you buy the wedding-ring.
Christmas Holiday T.*sk. — Pram,
without examination.
A SONG WITHOUT SENSE.
(Adapted for Slow and Sentimental Music.)
0 who will o'er the moon so free,
O who will gaily ride
Upon a rocking-horse with me,
That carries twelve inside ?
1 promised her a slice of cake,
Made by a kangaroo :
Alas ! my brittle heart will break,
For all in vain I woo.
How fondly I recall the time,
When, sitting on the stile,
We heard the beetle's drowsy chime,
And saw the cuckoo smile !
But now no more the beetle sings,
The birds are silent too,
For tho' I've bought four wedding-rings,
'Tis all in vain I woo.
MONEY AND MATRIMONY.
For thy meteors, mcist November, oft
I've watched till late at night.
O that in my little garden there would
fall an aerolite,
Having withinside a diamond which
would for a million sell!
No man now upon less money could
afford to marry well.
DOMESTIC PETS.
Every dog must have his day ;
And every cat her night.
This is the sort of thing men say
When they have gotten tight.
There was a Young Lady called Flory,
In goodness she placed all her glory,
And boxed both her sisters'
Four ears into blisters,
Because they had told her a story.
December Answer to January s Prize
Charade.—But-ton.
c . . . v -Ov>, A < 1 \ \ The man who is equal to himself is
□ i™PAT,HY- - ThinP ™e \ Serl°T ■ C^1 ^ \\ V XV^L^K * VN generally a match for others,
aspect when the Bakers threatened to \\ )S\ . Wvv fCfcitf^*^ v \ I J _
DISTANCE LENDS," &c.
Wiry Keeper. " That's our Ground, Sir, just round that furthest Hill."
[Brown (from Loudon), who had understood his Moor was within easy distance from the
Railway Station, and has bten walking for the last Two Hours, and hasn't " a Dry
Thread," Caves In.
How to Roll in Wealth.—Marry a
rich carriage-maker's daughter.
Unseasonable Thing.—To say " Good
morning " on a very foggy day.
A Court Circular.—From a Royal
Tradesman.
A " Young Shaver."—A barber's baby.
A Large Family Party.—All of us !
Vol. 64