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https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17130#0012
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December 18, 1873.]
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOB 1874.
The Titmouse and Truncheon.—The Small Birds Pro-
t> ction Act has constituted our Police the special guardians
of our feathered vocalists. Bobby protects Dicky.
Love and Law —Lor/- =■
often kills Love. [This “
spondent.]
'
h
i. m
ANIMAL SPIRITS.
Said a Calf unto an Ass,
d you ever eat the hay
was made of sparrow-grass ? ”
ard burst into a bray.
EXTRACT.
“ You cannot taste in the
dark,” said a Lecturer. “ Na-
ture has intended us to see our
food.”
“Then,” inquired a forward
pupil, “ how about a blind man
at dinner?”
“Nature, Sir,” answered the
Professor, “has provided him
with Eye teeth.”
Pairs.— How admirably well
eertan persons and things go ;
together ! How invariably we
iissociate in our minds bricks
and mortar, and Beaumont and
Fletcher, and Chaplin and
Horne, and Antony and Cleo-
patra, and supply and demand,
and Sherry and bitters and tare
and tret, and abstract and con-
crete, and oysters and Chablis !
The Snakes and the Sham-
rock.— According to Tradition,
the aboriginal races of Ireland
included t he O’Phidians. St. Pat-
rick drove the whole tribe of
them into the bogs.
Advice to Young House-
keepers. — Put your washing
out. if you do not wish your
husband to be put out.
Proposed Excavation in the
City of London.—Dig for the
Municipal Body in Alderman-
bury.
There’s one T>-ee that ought
to be well off for bark—the Dog-
rose Tree.
Note for Martinmas.—In a
Man's Life there is no St. Mar-
tin’s Summer.
My Lady’s Epigram.—Male is
only Mule spelt wrongly.
QUEER QUERIES.
Can a Bill of Exchange drawn
payable at sight be legally pre-
1 stilted at an Irish Blind Asylum?
i Is it known in good society
how many British Cattle-owners
reside in Cattleownia ?
Do men of Iron Constitution
! ever get a little rusty in damp
1 weather ?
If a Mad Dog won the Derby,
: would it be correct to term the
i feat a “rabid act of horseman-
ship?”
May young ladies be asked if
they can wear a ship, when the
sails are “ blown to ribbons ? ”
Advice Gratis.—You wish to
give Clementina a New Year’s
present. You have thought of a
Toy Terrier. You want to know
where you can procure it. Go
into a toy-shop, and ask for one.
Y'ou will be sure to get it.
Botany and Acoustics.—Cot-
ton, being a lignt substance, is
not therefore called Gossypium,
because gossypium is not Latin
for “gossip.’” Note, also, that
| gossip is, on the contrary, ex-
eluded by cotton in the ears.
Ethnology. — The Pigmies
were not altogether a fabulous
race; the Bosh men may he so
called because they' are no bosh.
Thus it is by no means true
that yTou" only pigmies arc little
pigs.
Axiom for the Kitchen.—
Things rubbed against a grater
become less.
Champagne to be drunk on
a Lawn—“ Mow-it; ” and when
you’ve finished one bottle, call
for some mower.
Black and White.—Much harmless satire has been ex-
pended on Gentlemen’s Evening Dress, but after all what
can be more suitable for a dinner-party than a swallow-tail
coat ?
Twenty-Ninth of May.—University Men “sport their
Oak.”
STANCH !
nd is up to his Ankles in Water). “I say, .John, do you Know your Boat leaks?
Uncle. “ But I-- What’s to be Done?”
for the Shore!! ” _
Dr. Jolliboy (who had been cal’ed away from a social Meeting at his Club). “ Thirteen, Fourteen, F’fteen-
Two, F’fteen-Four, F’fteen-Six—Pair Eight—Nob’sh Nine-” {Drops off.) [“ We draw a Veil,” d-c., d-c.
SHOCKING !
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOB 1874.
The Titmouse and Truncheon.—The Small Birds Pro-
t> ction Act has constituted our Police the special guardians
of our feathered vocalists. Bobby protects Dicky.
Love and Law —Lor/- =■
often kills Love. [This “
spondent.]
'
h
i. m
ANIMAL SPIRITS.
Said a Calf unto an Ass,
d you ever eat the hay
was made of sparrow-grass ? ”
ard burst into a bray.
EXTRACT.
“ You cannot taste in the
dark,” said a Lecturer. “ Na-
ture has intended us to see our
food.”
“Then,” inquired a forward
pupil, “ how about a blind man
at dinner?”
“Nature, Sir,” answered the
Professor, “has provided him
with Eye teeth.”
Pairs.— How admirably well
eertan persons and things go ;
together ! How invariably we
iissociate in our minds bricks
and mortar, and Beaumont and
Fletcher, and Chaplin and
Horne, and Antony and Cleo-
patra, and supply and demand,
and Sherry and bitters and tare
and tret, and abstract and con-
crete, and oysters and Chablis !
The Snakes and the Sham-
rock.— According to Tradition,
the aboriginal races of Ireland
included t he O’Phidians. St. Pat-
rick drove the whole tribe of
them into the bogs.
Advice to Young House-
keepers. — Put your washing
out. if you do not wish your
husband to be put out.
Proposed Excavation in the
City of London.—Dig for the
Municipal Body in Alderman-
bury.
There’s one T>-ee that ought
to be well off for bark—the Dog-
rose Tree.
Note for Martinmas.—In a
Man's Life there is no St. Mar-
tin’s Summer.
My Lady’s Epigram.—Male is
only Mule spelt wrongly.
QUEER QUERIES.
Can a Bill of Exchange drawn
payable at sight be legally pre-
1 stilted at an Irish Blind Asylum?
i Is it known in good society
how many British Cattle-owners
reside in Cattleownia ?
Do men of Iron Constitution
! ever get a little rusty in damp
1 weather ?
If a Mad Dog won the Derby,
: would it be correct to term the
i feat a “rabid act of horseman-
ship?”
May young ladies be asked if
they can wear a ship, when the
sails are “ blown to ribbons ? ”
Advice Gratis.—You wish to
give Clementina a New Year’s
present. You have thought of a
Toy Terrier. You want to know
where you can procure it. Go
into a toy-shop, and ask for one.
Y'ou will be sure to get it.
Botany and Acoustics.—Cot-
ton, being a lignt substance, is
not therefore called Gossypium,
because gossypium is not Latin
for “gossip.’” Note, also, that
| gossip is, on the contrary, ex-
eluded by cotton in the ears.
Ethnology. — The Pigmies
were not altogether a fabulous
race; the Bosh men may he so
called because they' are no bosh.
Thus it is by no means true
that yTou" only pigmies arc little
pigs.
Axiom for the Kitchen.—
Things rubbed against a grater
become less.
Champagne to be drunk on
a Lawn—“ Mow-it; ” and when
you’ve finished one bottle, call
for some mower.
Black and White.—Much harmless satire has been ex-
pended on Gentlemen’s Evening Dress, but after all what
can be more suitable for a dinner-party than a swallow-tail
coat ?
Twenty-Ninth of May.—University Men “sport their
Oak.”
STANCH !
nd is up to his Ankles in Water). “I say, .John, do you Know your Boat leaks?
Uncle. “ But I-- What’s to be Done?”
for the Shore!! ” _
Dr. Jolliboy (who had been cal’ed away from a social Meeting at his Club). “ Thirteen, Fourteen, F’fteen-
Two, F’fteen-Four, F’fteen-Six—Pair Eight—Nob’sh Nine-” {Drops off.) [“ We draw a Veil,” d-c., d-c.
SHOCKING !