Punch / Almanack (1875)

[December 17, 1874-

PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOR 1875.

MYSTERIES OP
NOVEMBER.

Into the future dost thou
dare,

Clairvoyant Medium, vainly
pry ?

Say, then, who ’ll be this yeai s
Lord Mayor,

And who's to be the com-
ing Guy.

A Fellow Feeling.—There
is one Parliamentary mea-
sure, passed regu arly every
Session, which persons who
are inclined to make free
with their neighbours’ pro-
perty regard with consider-
able favour—the Appropria-
tion Bill.

The Quadrature of the
Circle.—Describe a Circle ;
and let it be a Ring of Swin-
dlers. Squat e your Ring.

Sans-Culottes Cherchf,-
Culottes. — Strong - minded
Women of the “advanced”
brigade.

PROVERBIAL

PHILOSOPHY.

Never do to-morrow what
you can put off doing to-day.

Excepting on a railroad,
delays are rarely dangerous.

Un punctuality is the soul
of method.

Where there’s a Will there’s
a Way of upsettiug it.

For want of a Cab the Train
was lost, and for want of a
Trainer the Race was lost.

’Tis the early' Worm that
gets walked into by the
Blackbird.

Invention is the Daughter
of Necessity, and the Parent
of the Soap-bubble.

If you want a thing well
done, pay somebody to do it.

Silence is of gold, while
speech is often brazen.

Needs must, when the
Printer's Devil calls.

December xxxi Days.

j IM

All Saints

16

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Erskine d

1

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Prs. Wls H.

17

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2|Ti.

Mich. T. b.

17

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Q. Elit.b.

2

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S.r. 7h.46m

18

8 Grimaldi b

31W

Per. Leigh

18

Th

Rubens b.

3

F

Bradbury b

19

S !4S. inAdv.

4 Th

Will.III. b.

19

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B. Areola

4

8

■8-s.3h.5lm

20

M jB. Viciosa

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S. r. 7h 2m'

20

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5

s

2 8. in Ad.

21

Tu St Thomas

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S.s 4h.23mi

21

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26 8. af.Tr

6

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Day 8h. 1 m.

22

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24 S. af.Tr.j

22

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Cecil.

7

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Klaxman d

23

Th Jas.ILabd.

81 A!

Da\9h.l7m

23

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S. Clement

8

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C.BV.Mary

24

F Christ. Eve

9 Tu

P. of Wis h.

24

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J Knox d.

9

Tl.

Vandyke d.

25

S Christ. Day

JO w

M Luther 1.

25

Th Mich. T. «.

10

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Chalmers d

26

SIS. af. Chr.

J1 11.

St. Martin |

26

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11

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J no. Gay d.

27

M iC. Lamb d.

12 K

Baxter b. I

27

5*

Prs.M.A.b.

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s

3 8. in Ad.

28

Tu Innocents

13 8

Britius

28

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I S. in Ad.

13

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C. Cibber d.

29

W Stafford ex.

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25 8.af.Tr ;

29

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durnand

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P. Albert d

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Th Canton cap.

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Machutus

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St Andrew

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Cam. M.T.e


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SAGITTARIUS.

CAPRICORNUS.

CHRISTMAS CAROL.

O the good old times
Of the Christmas Chimes,
Which we hear as well to-
day.

As the Bell chinks.

So the Fool thinks,

And will for ever and aye.

Waiting for an Answer.
—Has the Chanty Organisa-
tion Society ever investigated
a greater case of destitution
than that of the lady who
denied herself the common
luxuries of life ?

At the “ Mitre.” — A
Bishop, who naturally thinks
a good deal of himself, can
hardly consider it a compli-
ment to be called “ the Ordi-
nary.”

NURSERY RHYME FOR
THE TIME.

I ’ll tell yTou a story
About Jack-a-Nory,
Home for the Christmas Va-
cation :

When offered mince-pies,
He, indignant, replies,—
“ With Learning they' ’ve no
correlation.”

Suitable Premises. — A
gieat Teetotal gathering is
expected to take place next
Summer in Kew Gardens, in
the new “Temperate House.”

Self-Evident. — It must
have been a Cockney who
said that St. Bees came from
St. ’Ives.

Wit and Wisdom.—In the
midst of joke we are in
earnest.

The Patron Saint of the
Money Market.—St. Simon
Stock.

The Worst of Snares.—
Gin and Bitters.

i

the church equitant.

Racehorses

io«s- Ch°ke C°b’ kai™lrd ^remonstrate ,nth Sporting Parson, who keeps Racehorses).

Sporting Parson. “ Bless your Lordsh ’ ~ ~ - -

ip ! Only Platers ! I ’

‘I am deeply concerned to hear, Mr. that you keep, and even train,

BE GLAD TO CHOP ANYTHING IN MY STABLES FOR THAT COB OF YOURS ! ! ’