DOI issue:
Punch's Almanack for 1882
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17770#0014
December fi, 1881.]
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOR 1882.
OUT OF TOWN.
I stand upon a breezy
height,
And gaze o’er many a
mile aroiind,
No railway’s steam or
smoke in sight ;
I list no locomotive’s
sound :
No telegraph can I dis-
cern
Whichever way my nose I
turn.
Fields of wheat, barley,
oats, and rye,
Hedges and trees, that
intervene,
Around, about, refresh mine
eye,
Forming a landscape all
serene.
The Harvest has begun in
part ;
Along there goes a home
and cart.
But omnibus and tramway
car,
And every cab, are all
remote ;
ALPINE ABERRATIONS.
A Kneesy Climb.
A Difficult Pass.
A Smiling Valley.
A. Magnificent Gorge.
One sole tall chimney
towers afar,
Of Progress, in a sort,
some note.
But yonder factory, to be
sure,
Merely makes chemical
manure.
Pictorial posters, ugly, big,
Are pasted, here, no pa-
lings o’er,
Only a notice of a pig
For sale, bedecks that old
barn-door.
Far hence aloof are flaring
puffs,
Guffaws, and roars of gents
and roughs. »
Name nought of Litera-
ture, or Art,
Or politics to local
swains;
And nothing say that you
think smart.
Such nonsense no atten-
tion gains
Amongst the honest people
here ;
Be mute, or talk of Swine
and Beer.
THE HEIGHT OF HUMANITY.
Certain excellent people, of extreme benevolence, form themselves
into an Association under the name of the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Vegetables. In argument for its object, they appeal to
the phenomena of the sensitive plant. At their initial meeting is
read a paper denouncing the practices of peeling onions and boiling
potatoes alive.
In a subsequent conversation, reference, in proof of vegetable sen-
sibility, to the special sense of taste exhibited by carnivorous plants,
occasions debate as to the morality of their conduct in gratifying
their appetites, considered from a Vegetarian point of view. _ Controversy
passes into altercation, shortly becoming uproar, in which the pro-
ceedings terminate. ___
Melting Charity.—The frost begins to give.
CIVILISATION OF THE ROUGH.
Professors of Dancing and Deportment giving Lessons to the Convicts.
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOR 1882.
OUT OF TOWN.
I stand upon a breezy
height,
And gaze o’er many a
mile aroiind,
No railway’s steam or
smoke in sight ;
I list no locomotive’s
sound :
No telegraph can I dis-
cern
Whichever way my nose I
turn.
Fields of wheat, barley,
oats, and rye,
Hedges and trees, that
intervene,
Around, about, refresh mine
eye,
Forming a landscape all
serene.
The Harvest has begun in
part ;
Along there goes a home
and cart.
But omnibus and tramway
car,
And every cab, are all
remote ;
ALPINE ABERRATIONS.
A Kneesy Climb.
A Difficult Pass.
A Smiling Valley.
A. Magnificent Gorge.
One sole tall chimney
towers afar,
Of Progress, in a sort,
some note.
But yonder factory, to be
sure,
Merely makes chemical
manure.
Pictorial posters, ugly, big,
Are pasted, here, no pa-
lings o’er,
Only a notice of a pig
For sale, bedecks that old
barn-door.
Far hence aloof are flaring
puffs,
Guffaws, and roars of gents
and roughs. »
Name nought of Litera-
ture, or Art,
Or politics to local
swains;
And nothing say that you
think smart.
Such nonsense no atten-
tion gains
Amongst the honest people
here ;
Be mute, or talk of Swine
and Beer.
THE HEIGHT OF HUMANITY.
Certain excellent people, of extreme benevolence, form themselves
into an Association under the name of the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Vegetables. In argument for its object, they appeal to
the phenomena of the sensitive plant. At their initial meeting is
read a paper denouncing the practices of peeling onions and boiling
potatoes alive.
In a subsequent conversation, reference, in proof of vegetable sen-
sibility, to the special sense of taste exhibited by carnivorous plants,
occasions debate as to the morality of their conduct in gratifying
their appetites, considered from a Vegetarian point of view. _ Controversy
passes into altercation, shortly becoming uproar, in which the pro-
ceedings terminate. ___
Melting Charity.—The frost begins to give.
CIVILISATION OF THE ROUGH.
Professors of Dancing and Deportment giving Lessons to the Convicts.