DOI issue:
Punch's Almanack for 1885
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17766#0008
THE ALARMIST’S
YEAR-BOOK.
March.
\tli. A Boa-constric-
tor discovered loose in
the Upper House of Con-
vocation. Great panic.
Twenty-seven Bishops
endeavouring to jump
simultaneously from the
windows of the Jeru-
salem Chamber alight on
a passing pastrycook’s
tray, and are taken in
an exhausted condition
to the Westminster Hos-
pital.
11th. Social Sinecure
Suppression Bill abo-
lishing Rural Deans,
Chairmen of Railway
Companies, Country
Gentlemen, and all the
Beadles in the United
Kingdom, passed at the
third reading in the
Commons by a majority
of 508. Monster Meet-
ing at Charing Cross
of Esquires in their own
right dispersed by dyna-
mite.
Wth. Serious Hair-
brushing riot at True-
fitt’s.
A Jovial Crew.—
Jack Tars in a Jolly-boat.
A SAVING CLAUSE.
The Vicar’s Daughter. “Goon morning, Mrs. Taylor. It’s along time since I saw
you at Church ! You really ought to attend more regularly !”
Mrs. T. {guiltily). “Yes, yes, Miss. It is a long time since I was at Church ! oyster
But”—(cheerfully)—“I never goes to Chapel!”
THE ALARMIST’S
YEAR-BOOK.
April.
1st. Universal con-
sternation, owing to the
receipt by the Govern-
ment at breakfast-time
of a telegram from the
Indian Viceroy announ-
cing the sudden blow-
ing up of Calcutta,
Madras, and Bombay,
and loss of the entire
peninsula by mutiny.
This news was, how-
ever, contradicted by a
second despatch arriving
later in the day, face-
tiously calling attention
to the date.
71 h. Public Service
Saving Bill passed. Pay
of First-class Clerks at
the Foreign Office re-
duced to threepence-
halfpenny an hour.
19th. Further drastic
measures of Economy
carried in Parliament.
The Lord Chancellor on
being informed that his
salary is cut down to
, £400 a year without
| extras, spends the whole
I of it on an American
luncheon, and
walks home in hysterics.
YEAR-BOOK.
March.
\tli. A Boa-constric-
tor discovered loose in
the Upper House of Con-
vocation. Great panic.
Twenty-seven Bishops
endeavouring to jump
simultaneously from the
windows of the Jeru-
salem Chamber alight on
a passing pastrycook’s
tray, and are taken in
an exhausted condition
to the Westminster Hos-
pital.
11th. Social Sinecure
Suppression Bill abo-
lishing Rural Deans,
Chairmen of Railway
Companies, Country
Gentlemen, and all the
Beadles in the United
Kingdom, passed at the
third reading in the
Commons by a majority
of 508. Monster Meet-
ing at Charing Cross
of Esquires in their own
right dispersed by dyna-
mite.
Wth. Serious Hair-
brushing riot at True-
fitt’s.
A Jovial Crew.—
Jack Tars in a Jolly-boat.
A SAVING CLAUSE.
The Vicar’s Daughter. “Goon morning, Mrs. Taylor. It’s along time since I saw
you at Church ! You really ought to attend more regularly !”
Mrs. T. {guiltily). “Yes, yes, Miss. It is a long time since I was at Church ! oyster
But”—(cheerfully)—“I never goes to Chapel!”
THE ALARMIST’S
YEAR-BOOK.
April.
1st. Universal con-
sternation, owing to the
receipt by the Govern-
ment at breakfast-time
of a telegram from the
Indian Viceroy announ-
cing the sudden blow-
ing up of Calcutta,
Madras, and Bombay,
and loss of the entire
peninsula by mutiny.
This news was, how-
ever, contradicted by a
second despatch arriving
later in the day, face-
tiously calling attention
to the date.
71 h. Public Service
Saving Bill passed. Pay
of First-class Clerks at
the Foreign Office re-
duced to threepence-
halfpenny an hour.
19th. Further drastic
measures of Economy
carried in Parliament.
The Lord Chancellor on
being informed that his
salary is cut down to
, £400 a year without
| extras, spends the whole
I of it on an American
luncheon, and
walks home in hysterics.