DOI issue:
Punch's Almanack for 1885
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.17766#0015
[December 9, 1S84.
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOR 1885.
THE ALARMIST’S
YEAR-BOOK.
June.
10 th. Bombardment
of the Metropolis com-
mences. G-reat floralfete
at South Kensington.
IGtli. A review of the
entire available garrison
of London being held
by the Duke of Cam-
bridge in Hyde Park,
and it being found to
consist of thirteen men
of the South. Stafford-
shire Regiment, five
mounted policemen, and
the invalided drum-
major of the Coldstream
Guards, the whole are
put by the populace on
the top of an omnibus,
and conveyed to the
front amidst a scene of
the wildest enthusiasm.
25 th. Madame Tus-
SAUD’s, the British
Museum, and the Duke
of York’s Column blown
up simultaneously. Mr.
Irving and Miss E.
Terry, on their return
from America, are re-
ceived by Mr. W. Bar-
rett and Mrs. Kendal
■waving pocket-handker-
chiefs and dancing. Mrs.
Kendal refuses to make
a speech, but writes out
her address for the next
Court Guide.
THE ALARMIST'S
YEAR-BOOK.
May.
3rd. Simultaneous de-
claration of War against
Great Britain by France,
Germany, Russia, Aus-
tria, Italy, Roumania,
Egypt, Khordofan, and
the Straits Settlements.
5th. It having being
reported in the morning
that five hostile fleets
were already threaten-
ing the coasts, and that
twenty-seven of the
enemies’ iron-clads had
been seen off Green-
wich, the First Lord
of the Admiralty an-
nounces to the House
amidst deafening cheers
that the keels of three
unarmoured cruisers will
certainly be laid the
year after next.
25th. Unexpected ces-
sation of foreign food
supply. Bath-bun riots
in the Burlington.
Arcade.
Language of Flow-
ers.—What stands for
grumbling ? The little
yellow Croakers.
Crimped Salmon.—
Vidi et crudeles dantem
Salmonea pcenas.”
COMING OUT AS A CONVERSATIONALIST.
Young Gandcrson (-proudly conscious of the general attention). “Oh yes, IT
’s in Soho,
for Eight-
YOU KNOW. I KNOW THE PLACE WELL. THEY GIVE YOU A CAPITAL DINNER
eenpence—Wine included.”
flout (proud of his Cellar). “And is the Wine drinkable?”
Young Gandcrson. “Oh yes-very good—better than the Wine we’re drinking
now ! ”
“BOYS WILL BE BOYS.”
Old Wiggins. “Confound those Young Rascals ! Hang me if I ’ll ever have ’em Home again for the Holidays ! They’ve
BEEN MIXING HAIR OlL AND FURNITURE POLISH WITH MY DRY CURA^OA AND BROWN SHERRY !”
PUNCH’S ALMANACK FOR 1885.
THE ALARMIST’S
YEAR-BOOK.
June.
10 th. Bombardment
of the Metropolis com-
mences. G-reat floralfete
at South Kensington.
IGtli. A review of the
entire available garrison
of London being held
by the Duke of Cam-
bridge in Hyde Park,
and it being found to
consist of thirteen men
of the South. Stafford-
shire Regiment, five
mounted policemen, and
the invalided drum-
major of the Coldstream
Guards, the whole are
put by the populace on
the top of an omnibus,
and conveyed to the
front amidst a scene of
the wildest enthusiasm.
25 th. Madame Tus-
SAUD’s, the British
Museum, and the Duke
of York’s Column blown
up simultaneously. Mr.
Irving and Miss E.
Terry, on their return
from America, are re-
ceived by Mr. W. Bar-
rett and Mrs. Kendal
■waving pocket-handker-
chiefs and dancing. Mrs.
Kendal refuses to make
a speech, but writes out
her address for the next
Court Guide.
THE ALARMIST'S
YEAR-BOOK.
May.
3rd. Simultaneous de-
claration of War against
Great Britain by France,
Germany, Russia, Aus-
tria, Italy, Roumania,
Egypt, Khordofan, and
the Straits Settlements.
5th. It having being
reported in the morning
that five hostile fleets
were already threaten-
ing the coasts, and that
twenty-seven of the
enemies’ iron-clads had
been seen off Green-
wich, the First Lord
of the Admiralty an-
nounces to the House
amidst deafening cheers
that the keels of three
unarmoured cruisers will
certainly be laid the
year after next.
25th. Unexpected ces-
sation of foreign food
supply. Bath-bun riots
in the Burlington.
Arcade.
Language of Flow-
ers.—What stands for
grumbling ? The little
yellow Croakers.
Crimped Salmon.—
Vidi et crudeles dantem
Salmonea pcenas.”
COMING OUT AS A CONVERSATIONALIST.
Young Gandcrson (-proudly conscious of the general attention). “Oh yes, IT
’s in Soho,
for Eight-
YOU KNOW. I KNOW THE PLACE WELL. THEY GIVE YOU A CAPITAL DINNER
eenpence—Wine included.”
flout (proud of his Cellar). “And is the Wine drinkable?”
Young Gandcrson. “Oh yes-very good—better than the Wine we’re drinking
now ! ”
“BOYS WILL BE BOYS.”
Old Wiggins. “Confound those Young Rascals ! Hang me if I ’ll ever have ’em Home again for the Holidays ! They’ve
BEEN MIXING HAIR OlL AND FURNITURE POLISH WITH MY DRY CURA^OA AND BROWN SHERRY !”