DOI Page / Citation link:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16516#0042
,34
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE GREAT AGRICULTURAL ASSOCIATION.
HIS Association hold its enormous
meeting a few days ago at Bristol,
and the result was in every respect
exceedingly gratifying.
It is not perhaps generally known
that this is a society of persons,
whose common object is to promote
the interests of the British clod-
hopper, and to place the English
plonghboy on that proud pinnacle
which the elevated nature of his
pursuits peculiarly adapts him for.
A part of the objects of the
Association consists in the invention
of implements of agriculture ; the
decision on different soils, and the
cultivation of cattle. The Secretary
produced a new machine, which was peculiarly adapted for extracting
the butter from butterflies. He had never tried it, but he had a
strong idea that it would answer—(Loud cheers).
A Member wished to know whether buttercups would be equally
salubrious after the butter had been removed. (Hear!) The
Secretary did not feel himself at liberty to make any reply to that
question.
In the course of the Meeting, a great deal of very interesting in-
formation was gone into on the subject of different soils ; and a
Member produced a very healthy Turnip-radish, which he had sown
in a Mignonette box, and which lie had every reason to believe
would partake of the delicate flavour of the flower. (Loud cries of
"Hear, hear.1" interspersed, with repeated sluiuts of" Taste, taste!" and a low
murmur of" Smell, srm 11.'") The Member was much perplexed, and after
the original resolution having been twice put and lost, the order of
the day once dropped, and the Radish itself three times let fall, it
was agreed to refer it to a Committee of Taste, who were to nibble
(through their chairman) and report accordingly.
The Grand Potato Show was the next point in the proceedings of
the day ; and this was a very interesting part of the business. Sandy
Sam, the proprietor of the can with the chimneys in the New Cut, was
the fortunate winner ; for he produced a splendid specimen of the
Pomum Terra', or Earth-apple, commonly called Potato, which was
served up in a delicate garnish of salt, with a lump of butter at the
top of it. A Subscriber wished to know if the potato before them
was in its natural state, or whether it had undergone the baking pro-
cess. Several members did not know, six could not tell, and the re-
mainder declared themselves not yet in a position to say anything.
This led to much confusion, in the midst of which a juvenile member
of the Association suddenly made off with the delicious vegetable,
Scene III__^Interior of Mr. Dolemdown's Counting-House. Jack
Brownless, with a Check in his hand.
Jack. Only twenty pounds for a quarter's indefatigable exertion ?—I
. shail cut. '
and his report on the subject is hourly expected. Mr jy0iemdown. Surely, Mr. Brownless, you will not leave me till
cretary related an anecdote of a domestic spider, which knew him,
(the secretary) and would take food off his (the secretary's) hand. A
member observed that this was nothing in comparison to a case ho
could relate from his own experience. There was a whole colony
of fleas that were so exceedingly attached to him that they invari-
ably waited till he (the member) came to bed, when they would play-
fully begin to tickle him (the member), and would not only lake their
food off his (the member's) hand, but from any part of his (the
member's) person, which they (the fleas) happened to find at the
moment convenient. (Immense- sensation).
Perhaps, however, the grand attraction of the day was the Great
Blue-bottle Show, a prize having been offered for the fattest of these
interesting creatures. Most of them had been fed on brown sugar,
and one was exhibited embedded in treacle, where he had died, with-
out living to enjoy the dignity which, had iie survived, the Associa-
tion would, no doubt, have awarded him.
A curious anecdote was told of a wasp having settled on a member's
nose, and a paper was read on the Civilisation of Wasps, with a view
to inducing them to regulate the use of their stings upon equitable
principles. The proceedings terminated with the annual ploughing
match, of which the following are the particulars :—
Blue set off at a steady pace, followed by lied, at the rate of nearly
one mile an hour. Yellow met with a portion of a root, where his
plough stuck fast; while Green, losing all guidance of the machine,
was upset in a hawthorn hedge. Orange then took up the ploughing
at a smartish pace ; but his horse turning restive, bolted round into
another field, and cut a beautifully straight trench down the whole
length of a meadow. The match was now entirely between Blue and
Red, both of whom stopped short in the middle of the field, and agreed
to divide the money.
Thus ended one of the most exciting ploughing matches that was
ever recorded in agricultural annals.
A patent harrow was exhibited, the efficiency of which was tested
bv a well-dressed member, who fell upon it.
BEAU AND HARROW.
SCENES FROM THE DOMESTIC DRAMA OF
JACK BROWNLESS.
The Cultivation of Cattle Section proceeded to inspect the prize j Y0U hav0 balanced your books 2
animals, and a fat bullock was immediately introduced, which it was
resolved that a committee should at once sit upon. The bull in ques-
tion seeing a bottle of wine on the table, at once tossed it off, at the
same time sweeping away the glasses with a playful switch of his
tail, while lie stood with his fore-leg on the gouty toe of a member of
the Society. The corpulent beast was declared at once entitled to
the leaden medal, and sold to an opulent butcher, who considerately
turned it into
JOINT STOCK.
Something was said on the subject of feeding, and a curious disqui-
sition was commenced on the possibility of bringing up a flea
entirely by hand; but a member declared that he had felt one at his
foot all the preceding night, and had made several efforts to bring it
up by hand, all of which were utterly futile (Loud cheers). The Se-
Jack. For twenty pounds !—Are you insane ? I have some interest
at Hanwell, and I'll use it in your behalf.
Mr. Dolemdoum. But my books, sir, who is to balance my books ?
Jack. My dear sir, send" for Ramo Samee—he can balance anything.
[ Exeunt,
(A lapse of a Month is supposed to occur betu-een the Third and Fourth
Scenes.)
Scene IV.— Waterloo Bridge at Midnight. Jack. Brownless and Mart
Mai-bud walking on the Anti-Toll Side of the Bridge.
Mary. Haven't you a shilling. Jack I
Jack. My dear Mary, when you know that I am dying for an Havannah
and a six of cold without, can you imagine that I have such a coin t
But—
Mary. But what, Jack ?
Jack. I'm tired of this way of living—quite tired, and I wish—
Mary. Oh heavens ! wish what ?
Jack (frantically striking his forehead).—-That somebody would leave mo
a thousand a year !
FALLING IN WITH FR.IF.NO.
PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
THE GREAT AGRICULTURAL ASSOCIATION.
HIS Association hold its enormous
meeting a few days ago at Bristol,
and the result was in every respect
exceedingly gratifying.
It is not perhaps generally known
that this is a society of persons,
whose common object is to promote
the interests of the British clod-
hopper, and to place the English
plonghboy on that proud pinnacle
which the elevated nature of his
pursuits peculiarly adapts him for.
A part of the objects of the
Association consists in the invention
of implements of agriculture ; the
decision on different soils, and the
cultivation of cattle. The Secretary
produced a new machine, which was peculiarly adapted for extracting
the butter from butterflies. He had never tried it, but he had a
strong idea that it would answer—(Loud cheers).
A Member wished to know whether buttercups would be equally
salubrious after the butter had been removed. (Hear!) The
Secretary did not feel himself at liberty to make any reply to that
question.
In the course of the Meeting, a great deal of very interesting in-
formation was gone into on the subject of different soils ; and a
Member produced a very healthy Turnip-radish, which he had sown
in a Mignonette box, and which lie had every reason to believe
would partake of the delicate flavour of the flower. (Loud cries of
"Hear, hear.1" interspersed, with repeated sluiuts of" Taste, taste!" and a low
murmur of" Smell, srm 11.'") The Member was much perplexed, and after
the original resolution having been twice put and lost, the order of
the day once dropped, and the Radish itself three times let fall, it
was agreed to refer it to a Committee of Taste, who were to nibble
(through their chairman) and report accordingly.
The Grand Potato Show was the next point in the proceedings of
the day ; and this was a very interesting part of the business. Sandy
Sam, the proprietor of the can with the chimneys in the New Cut, was
the fortunate winner ; for he produced a splendid specimen of the
Pomum Terra', or Earth-apple, commonly called Potato, which was
served up in a delicate garnish of salt, with a lump of butter at the
top of it. A Subscriber wished to know if the potato before them
was in its natural state, or whether it had undergone the baking pro-
cess. Several members did not know, six could not tell, and the re-
mainder declared themselves not yet in a position to say anything.
This led to much confusion, in the midst of which a juvenile member
of the Association suddenly made off with the delicious vegetable,
Scene III__^Interior of Mr. Dolemdown's Counting-House. Jack
Brownless, with a Check in his hand.
Jack. Only twenty pounds for a quarter's indefatigable exertion ?—I
. shail cut. '
and his report on the subject is hourly expected. Mr jy0iemdown. Surely, Mr. Brownless, you will not leave me till
cretary related an anecdote of a domestic spider, which knew him,
(the secretary) and would take food off his (the secretary's) hand. A
member observed that this was nothing in comparison to a case ho
could relate from his own experience. There was a whole colony
of fleas that were so exceedingly attached to him that they invari-
ably waited till he (the member) came to bed, when they would play-
fully begin to tickle him (the member), and would not only lake their
food off his (the member's) hand, but from any part of his (the
member's) person, which they (the fleas) happened to find at the
moment convenient. (Immense- sensation).
Perhaps, however, the grand attraction of the day was the Great
Blue-bottle Show, a prize having been offered for the fattest of these
interesting creatures. Most of them had been fed on brown sugar,
and one was exhibited embedded in treacle, where he had died, with-
out living to enjoy the dignity which, had iie survived, the Associa-
tion would, no doubt, have awarded him.
A curious anecdote was told of a wasp having settled on a member's
nose, and a paper was read on the Civilisation of Wasps, with a view
to inducing them to regulate the use of their stings upon equitable
principles. The proceedings terminated with the annual ploughing
match, of which the following are the particulars :—
Blue set off at a steady pace, followed by lied, at the rate of nearly
one mile an hour. Yellow met with a portion of a root, where his
plough stuck fast; while Green, losing all guidance of the machine,
was upset in a hawthorn hedge. Orange then took up the ploughing
at a smartish pace ; but his horse turning restive, bolted round into
another field, and cut a beautifully straight trench down the whole
length of a meadow. The match was now entirely between Blue and
Red, both of whom stopped short in the middle of the field, and agreed
to divide the money.
Thus ended one of the most exciting ploughing matches that was
ever recorded in agricultural annals.
A patent harrow was exhibited, the efficiency of which was tested
bv a well-dressed member, who fell upon it.
BEAU AND HARROW.
SCENES FROM THE DOMESTIC DRAMA OF
JACK BROWNLESS.
The Cultivation of Cattle Section proceeded to inspect the prize j Y0U hav0 balanced your books 2
animals, and a fat bullock was immediately introduced, which it was
resolved that a committee should at once sit upon. The bull in ques-
tion seeing a bottle of wine on the table, at once tossed it off, at the
same time sweeping away the glasses with a playful switch of his
tail, while lie stood with his fore-leg on the gouty toe of a member of
the Society. The corpulent beast was declared at once entitled to
the leaden medal, and sold to an opulent butcher, who considerately
turned it into
JOINT STOCK.
Something was said on the subject of feeding, and a curious disqui-
sition was commenced on the possibility of bringing up a flea
entirely by hand; but a member declared that he had felt one at his
foot all the preceding night, and had made several efforts to bring it
up by hand, all of which were utterly futile (Loud cheers). The Se-
Jack. For twenty pounds !—Are you insane ? I have some interest
at Hanwell, and I'll use it in your behalf.
Mr. Dolemdoum. But my books, sir, who is to balance my books ?
Jack. My dear sir, send" for Ramo Samee—he can balance anything.
[ Exeunt,
(A lapse of a Month is supposed to occur betu-een the Third and Fourth
Scenes.)
Scene IV.— Waterloo Bridge at Midnight. Jack. Brownless and Mart
Mai-bud walking on the Anti-Toll Side of the Bridge.
Mary. Haven't you a shilling. Jack I
Jack. My dear Mary, when you know that I am dying for an Havannah
and a six of cold without, can you imagine that I have such a coin t
But—
Mary. But what, Jack ?
Jack. I'm tired of this way of living—quite tired, and I wish—
Mary. Oh heavens ! wish what ?
Jack (frantically striking his forehead).—-That somebody would leave mo
a thousand a year !
FALLING IN WITH FR.IF.NO.