DOI Page / Citation link:
https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16513#0115
PUNCH, OK THE LONDON CHARIVARI.
103
PROROGATION OF PARLIAMENT.
My Lords and M.P.s of the Commons : the state
Of business admits your dismissal, though late,
From further attendance (the nation and you
Will equally profit by this, it is true).
I thank you for measures, to which you agreed,
By which you enabled ine quite to succeed
In giving effect to some treaties (oh ! stuff,
The treaties already were binding enough).
I freely have given assent to the bill
For endowing additional ministers (still,
If my private opinion I publicly said,
I think parsons are not so much wanted as bread).
To settle the church, you for Scotland have passed
An act greatly wanted (you did it at last,
But so sloicly to business the Government went,
All the mischief was done that the act could prevent\.
Assurances friendly I get as before
(I 've said that so often it's now quite a bore).
To the Commons, my thanks I especially owe
For supplies for the year—(it's ridiculous, though,
To be thanking the Commons for liberal sums,
J\Tot a farthing of which from their own pocket comes :
If they paid it themselves, I should look rather funny,
When I asked them for so many millions oj money.)
Some districts of Wales, I am sorry to say,
Are disturbed ill a very unusual way !
Inquiry I've caused—(do the Ministers call
The appointment of poor Mr. Magistrate Hull
A proper inquiry ? Excuse me, but pooh !
That's humbug, I think—Lords and Commons, don't you?)
I've lately observed, with the deepest concern,
Repeal agitation is taking a turn,
(Now isn't it only what might be expected,
When you think how the Irish were always neglected
By Peel, and the whole of his party 9 1 knew
Their Government never for Ireland would do.)
It has been, and ever will be, my desire
To do what the dictates of justice require.
(All that from my Ministers sounds very fine :
They know very well they at once would resign,
If the justice they talk of in language so high,
Myself were determined in practice to try.)
The Union, firmly, I mean to maintain,
( Tliere goes the old story—all over again ;
For what is the use of a joint legislature ?
The Union they want's of a different nature.
If rightly the Ministers acted their parts,
They'd go for the genuine union of hearts.)
I've hitherto asked no unusual force
To keep down the malcontents (oh ! then, of course,
J he Waterford trip I'm supposed to forget,
When the soldiers got dinnerless, harassed, and wet;
At this splendid manoeuvre of Peel and his party,
At the palace, ive've oft had some laughter right hearty.)
My subjects in Ireland will not refuse
Their influence firmly and quickly to use,
With energy, promptitude, courage, and zeal,
To check the wild outcry that's raised for repeal.
(Now, really, without the least atom of joke,
A SUBJECT BADLY TREATED.
Such nonsense as this is, I never yet spoke ;
To talk of the influence others have got,
When I know, very well, they haven'I a jot.
But slop—in the woman I'm sinking the Queen)—
Well, well, my good people, you know what I mean.
SPEAKING MACHINE.
'The announcement of the Hamburgh correspondent to the Athenczum,
that, M. Faber's " Sprach-machine" or figure, to talk by mechanical
power, was a novel invention of great interest, has produced a lively
discussion in England—all sorts of'individuals coming forward to claim
the merit of the discovery. As our own columns, at the present moment,
appear to be the only medium of getting anything before the public, the
claimants have taken this method of putting forward their priority. From
numerous communications we select the following :—
No. I.—TO PUNCH,
©rating.
Punch,—I am more English at heart than you take me to be ; do not
let a foreign country claim an important invention. The idea of the
" speaking-machine " has evidently been taken from myself, who have
been, for some sessions past, at the opening and closing of Parliament,
compelled to utter whatever my ministers thought proper to make me.
Thine, Victoria, R.
No. II. PUNCH, ESQ.
Respected Individual,—Although diametrically opposed to each other
in various ways, allow us to assure you that it was under our influence
that a "speaking-machine" was first established in the person of Lord
Brougham. We have the valves, bellows, and pedals of his lungs, larynx,
and tongue, so completely under our control, that, by playing upon them,
we can make bim utter whatever we wish, upon whatever side of the
question we choose. We are, your obedient servants,
Wellington,
IIussell,
Peel,
O'Connell,
Father Mathew.
3.
4.
6.
7.
Hfararteti by tf)c 23ritisD Association.
Davy Doddle, Police, Section A, for continuing observations jL
at Charing Cross on the ordinary-omnibuses, and for apply-
ing to them the principles of perpetual motion, by means
of the ordinary time-keeper .....
Mr. Charles Green, for an experiment with a captive balloon,
which was detained at Brighton on account of the refusal
of the wind to grant a passport . . . . .
Mr. Bunn, for unfixing some of the fixed stars, and causing
them to come down very considerably ....
Jack in the Water, for some curious observations on the tides
at Waterloo Bridge ........
Professor Kane, for some experiments in tanning, as applicable
to the human hide ........
Professor Lynn (of Fleet Street), for researches into recent
(oyster) shells .........
Jenkins, for experiments with the Black and Blue Reviver on
the vitality of seedy substances . . .
Mr. Smith, for ascertaining the mean quantity of rain through
the state of his own water-butt .....
Mr. Swindle, the attorney, for experiments in getting effects
without causes .........
0
a.
0 2 6
0 1 G
0 0 6
0 1 0
0 2 6
0 1
0 0 6
Notice.
The board in front of the premises in Wellington-street, marker
'4 Rubbish mat be shot here," will, on completion of the Morning Post-
office, be exhibited over the Editor's box.
no wing the day appointed for the Prorogation,
the sun, who had been probably reserving him-
self for ihe occasion by keeping out of the way
all the morning, broke out in a fresh place to-
wards the afternoon and met Her Majesty, as
if by appointment, just opposite the Duke of
York's Column.
The sudden r.ctivity of the police to get
front places for themselves announced the ar-
rival of Her Majesty ; and the Horse Guards
having pranced along the toes and switched
their horses' tails in the faces of the assembled
throng, the state carriage was presently visible.
On arriving at the House, Her Majesty read the
following Speech, which we have taken the liberty
of putting into poetry. We have selected a
light measure, in conformity to the subject, for no measures of any weight
are touched upon.
Royal speeches, though ostensibly containing the sentiments of the
Sovereign, are, in fact, those of the Government. It the Queen had
written the Speech herself, the same subjects might have been treated of,
but it would have been in a very different manner. Knowing, as we do,
Her Majesty's sentiments pretty well, we have placed in parentheses what
the Queen would probably have said, could she have been unfettered in the
delivery of her opinions.
103
PROROGATION OF PARLIAMENT.
My Lords and M.P.s of the Commons : the state
Of business admits your dismissal, though late,
From further attendance (the nation and you
Will equally profit by this, it is true).
I thank you for measures, to which you agreed,
By which you enabled ine quite to succeed
In giving effect to some treaties (oh ! stuff,
The treaties already were binding enough).
I freely have given assent to the bill
For endowing additional ministers (still,
If my private opinion I publicly said,
I think parsons are not so much wanted as bread).
To settle the church, you for Scotland have passed
An act greatly wanted (you did it at last,
But so sloicly to business the Government went,
All the mischief was done that the act could prevent\.
Assurances friendly I get as before
(I 've said that so often it's now quite a bore).
To the Commons, my thanks I especially owe
For supplies for the year—(it's ridiculous, though,
To be thanking the Commons for liberal sums,
J\Tot a farthing of which from their own pocket comes :
If they paid it themselves, I should look rather funny,
When I asked them for so many millions oj money.)
Some districts of Wales, I am sorry to say,
Are disturbed ill a very unusual way !
Inquiry I've caused—(do the Ministers call
The appointment of poor Mr. Magistrate Hull
A proper inquiry ? Excuse me, but pooh !
That's humbug, I think—Lords and Commons, don't you?)
I've lately observed, with the deepest concern,
Repeal agitation is taking a turn,
(Now isn't it only what might be expected,
When you think how the Irish were always neglected
By Peel, and the whole of his party 9 1 knew
Their Government never for Ireland would do.)
It has been, and ever will be, my desire
To do what the dictates of justice require.
(All that from my Ministers sounds very fine :
They know very well they at once would resign,
If the justice they talk of in language so high,
Myself were determined in practice to try.)
The Union, firmly, I mean to maintain,
( Tliere goes the old story—all over again ;
For what is the use of a joint legislature ?
The Union they want's of a different nature.
If rightly the Ministers acted their parts,
They'd go for the genuine union of hearts.)
I've hitherto asked no unusual force
To keep down the malcontents (oh ! then, of course,
J he Waterford trip I'm supposed to forget,
When the soldiers got dinnerless, harassed, and wet;
At this splendid manoeuvre of Peel and his party,
At the palace, ive've oft had some laughter right hearty.)
My subjects in Ireland will not refuse
Their influence firmly and quickly to use,
With energy, promptitude, courage, and zeal,
To check the wild outcry that's raised for repeal.
(Now, really, without the least atom of joke,
A SUBJECT BADLY TREATED.
Such nonsense as this is, I never yet spoke ;
To talk of the influence others have got,
When I know, very well, they haven'I a jot.
But slop—in the woman I'm sinking the Queen)—
Well, well, my good people, you know what I mean.
SPEAKING MACHINE.
'The announcement of the Hamburgh correspondent to the Athenczum,
that, M. Faber's " Sprach-machine" or figure, to talk by mechanical
power, was a novel invention of great interest, has produced a lively
discussion in England—all sorts of'individuals coming forward to claim
the merit of the discovery. As our own columns, at the present moment,
appear to be the only medium of getting anything before the public, the
claimants have taken this method of putting forward their priority. From
numerous communications we select the following :—
No. I.—TO PUNCH,
©rating.
Punch,—I am more English at heart than you take me to be ; do not
let a foreign country claim an important invention. The idea of the
" speaking-machine " has evidently been taken from myself, who have
been, for some sessions past, at the opening and closing of Parliament,
compelled to utter whatever my ministers thought proper to make me.
Thine, Victoria, R.
No. II. PUNCH, ESQ.
Respected Individual,—Although diametrically opposed to each other
in various ways, allow us to assure you that it was under our influence
that a "speaking-machine" was first established in the person of Lord
Brougham. We have the valves, bellows, and pedals of his lungs, larynx,
and tongue, so completely under our control, that, by playing upon them,
we can make bim utter whatever we wish, upon whatever side of the
question we choose. We are, your obedient servants,
Wellington,
IIussell,
Peel,
O'Connell,
Father Mathew.
3.
4.
6.
7.
Hfararteti by tf)c 23ritisD Association.
Davy Doddle, Police, Section A, for continuing observations jL
at Charing Cross on the ordinary-omnibuses, and for apply-
ing to them the principles of perpetual motion, by means
of the ordinary time-keeper .....
Mr. Charles Green, for an experiment with a captive balloon,
which was detained at Brighton on account of the refusal
of the wind to grant a passport . . . . .
Mr. Bunn, for unfixing some of the fixed stars, and causing
them to come down very considerably ....
Jack in the Water, for some curious observations on the tides
at Waterloo Bridge ........
Professor Kane, for some experiments in tanning, as applicable
to the human hide ........
Professor Lynn (of Fleet Street), for researches into recent
(oyster) shells .........
Jenkins, for experiments with the Black and Blue Reviver on
the vitality of seedy substances . . .
Mr. Smith, for ascertaining the mean quantity of rain through
the state of his own water-butt .....
Mr. Swindle, the attorney, for experiments in getting effects
without causes .........
0
a.
0 2 6
0 1 G
0 0 6
0 1 0
0 2 6
0 1
0 0 6
Notice.
The board in front of the premises in Wellington-street, marker
'4 Rubbish mat be shot here," will, on completion of the Morning Post-
office, be exhibited over the Editor's box.
no wing the day appointed for the Prorogation,
the sun, who had been probably reserving him-
self for ihe occasion by keeping out of the way
all the morning, broke out in a fresh place to-
wards the afternoon and met Her Majesty, as
if by appointment, just opposite the Duke of
York's Column.
The sudden r.ctivity of the police to get
front places for themselves announced the ar-
rival of Her Majesty ; and the Horse Guards
having pranced along the toes and switched
their horses' tails in the faces of the assembled
throng, the state carriage was presently visible.
On arriving at the House, Her Majesty read the
following Speech, which we have taken the liberty
of putting into poetry. We have selected a
light measure, in conformity to the subject, for no measures of any weight
are touched upon.
Royal speeches, though ostensibly containing the sentiments of the
Sovereign, are, in fact, those of the Government. It the Queen had
written the Speech herself, the same subjects might have been treated of,
but it would have been in a very different manner. Knowing, as we do,
Her Majesty's sentiments pretty well, we have placed in parentheses what
the Queen would probably have said, could she have been unfettered in the
delivery of her opinions.