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Punch or The London charivari: Punch or The London charivari — 5.1843

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https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.16513#0228
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PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.


^foreign Intelligence.

By an extraordinary express from Heme Bay, we learn that the tran-
quillity of the place is such as to render it necessary to leave only a force
of one'policeman—who is A 1 in his own estimation. He acts as sergeant
every evening, ordering himself to be on the beat the next morning ; and
once a week he comes on duty as his own inspector—a duty he performs
by standing for a few minutes before the looking-glass. His great impar-
tiality is the theme of general admiration ; for, while acting in his capacity
of inspector, he has been known to exclaim, "This will never do, A, No.
1," with a tone of great authority.

The only other Government officer remaining on the spot is Lilly, the
postman, between whom and A, No. 1, the most satisfactory cordiality
continues to exist, which is a guarantee to the Bay for the stability of its
institutions.

We understand that policeman A, No. 1 (in his own opinion), behaved
splendidly throughout the whole of the trying circumstances attending the
birthday of the Prince of Wales. He aided the civil power to hoist the
flag on the Pier-head, and otherwise distinguished himself.

We are told that there is a strong feeling in Herne Bay against the
parsimony of the Government, in refusing to this important town (that is
to be) the usual accommodation of a stretcher at the station-house. The
Mayor has sent to London for a copy of Magna Cliarta, to see if the article
in question was among the luxuries secured to the people at llunnymede.

MUGGLETONIAN MECHANICS' INSTITUTION.
Mr. Frisby gave his 97th lecture on the Genius and Grammar of

" THOU ART TOO L1KF. THE SPIRIT OF BANQUO ; DOWN I

Shakspeare, on Tuesday evening last. He dwelt for a considerable time
on the beautiful line in Julius Caesar :—

" See what a rent the envious Casca made."

He argued from this that Casca must have been a landlord, and from
the " rent he made " being thus forcibly alluded to, it was urged by Mr.
Frisby, that the "envious Casca" looked probably rather sharp after his
tenantry. He took occasion also to dwell at some length on the cele-
brated line in Othello, deprecating nocturnal "broils." Mr. Frisby sug-
gested that devilled kidneys might have been a favourite supper with the
Venetians, and that Othello took that opportunity to have what is vulgarly
called a " dig'"' at the unwholesome practice.

The class for Singing for the Million at this institution has just opened.
Two have already entered, which it must be confessed is not very far
towards making up the million that the singing is intended for. The
class met in the large theatre of the institution, but speedily counted them-
selves out ; and, after.a little discussion on the landing at the top of the
stairs, adjourned sine die.

THE NELSON COLUMN.

The statue of Nelson was on view for a few days before its elevation,
chiefly to give the public an opportunity of seeing it before it was placed
out of sight altogether. It is generally understood that the best point about
it is the missing arm of the gallant seaman. The stump exhibits, on the
part of the sculptor, a very high degree of finish. The left eyebrow
exhibits a remarkable command of the chisel.

THE BIRTHDAY OF THE PRINCE OF WALES.

This festival was observed at the Church of St. Clement's, not only by
the ringing of the bells, but by the clock, which, out of compliment to
the Prince's having completed his second year, stood at 2 during the
whole of the auspicious day, and we believe one of its four faces still
retains this badge of loyalty.

Commercial ^3rosperit}i.

A Correspondent, who is not at liberty to give his name—being locked
up in a sponging-house—has forwarded us a very encouraging account of
the increased value of articles of consumption in the Chancery-lane and
Newman-street districts. He tells us that a sheet of ietter-paper fetches &
shilling—or, in other words, a shilling is demanded to fetch a sheet ot
letter-paper. Coffee, which at the coffee-houses is flat at twopence a cup, is
in demand at half-a-crov/n in the districts alluded to.

CHOPS FOR TWO

are charged at the rate of a loin of mutton, and other articles are in
the same proportion ; and, if high prices be a sign of prosperity, we sin-
cerely congratulate the inmates of the lock-up houses on their very flourish-
in «: condition.

HOMAGE TO LEGITIMACY.

The Morning Post has declared its fealty (in opposition to the
Standard) to the Duke de Bordeaux, as the rightful Henry the Fifth,
The proprietors have moreover placed their office at the disposal of his
Majesty whilst in London. The Post will henceforth be published—room
being found on the premises—at the left-hand toll-house of Waterloo-

Bouceur to the Influential,

Gentleman who has been ten years at the
University, and who is possessed of sundry
gifts and acquirements, mathematical, meta-
physical, philosophical, literary, scientific, and
otherwise, begs to announce his full acquies-
cence in the verdict of the public as to the
uselessness of such gifts and acquirements ;
and, as he has twenty shillings to spare,
will be most happy to make over the same
to any proprietor of a street-crossing who
1 will initiate him into the mystery of the pro-
fession, and procure him a good thoroughfare.
The muddier the better. Thinks he might be
able to manage the conductorship of an om-
nibus, but not the drivership. Presumes to hope that he could grind a
street-organ, but thinks himself best qualified for the crossing.

Mem. Can give no references, only the 20s.

Frightful Prospect for the Winter.—It has been announced in the
Times that no less than 1G7 Articled Clerks have applied for admission as
Attorneys !

A Comparative Blessing.—The Bombay papers say " India is overrun
with locusts." We ought to be thankful it is no worse—the locusts
might have been Income-Tax Commissioners !

Alderman Gibbs declares that he has discovered the meaning of the i
proverb "As quiet as a church rn.cz/??. " i

Police Intelligence Extraordinary.—The whole of the New Road
has been taken up.

How to Whisper away Warts.—Put your mouth close to the wart,
and tell it in a whisper that if i-t will not go away, you will burn it out with
caustic. If it does not take the nint, be as good as your word.

THE FREQUENT ROBBERIES OF PLATE have induced Birmingham,
Brothers, & Co. to manufacture a New Metal for those Families who
intend to do without it. It cannot be detected from Pewter by the keenest
observer ; and from its wonderful property of turning to a permanent yellow aftei
a short time, may be considered as

A PERFECT SUBSTITUTE FOR GOLD.

It is made into all sorts of articles, but is best adapted for Spoons.

VDAM'S PALE ALE.—The above celebrated liquid, so strongly re-
commended by Father Mathew and the faculty of Frcissnitz, mav be
procured in any quantity from the pump in Burlington Gardens, by applying
yourself to the handle. Be particular to inquire for the ladle.
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