DOI Artikel:
Crackanthorpe, Hubert: A study in sentimentality
DOI Seite / Zitierlink:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.27812#0205
By Hubert Crackanthorpe 201
And these, since they constituted his sole diversion, he had un-
consciously come to regard as of supreme importance. The cum-
bersome, complex details of life in the outside world had assumed
the simplification of an indistinct background : in his vision of
her figure he had perceived no perspective.
But now the grain of doubt was sown : it germinated in-
sidiously ; and soon, the whole complexion of his attitude
towards her was transformed. All at once he saw a whole net-
work of unforeseen obstacles, besetting each detail of the prospect
he had been planning. Swarming uncertainty fastened on him at
every turn ; till at last, goaded to desperation, he stripped the gilding
from the accumulated fabric of his idealised future.
And then his passion for her flamed up—ardent,' unreasoning,
human. After all, he loved as other men loved—that was the
truth : the rest was mere calhsh meandering. Stubbornly he
vindicated to himself his right to love her . . . He was a man—-
a creature of flesh and blood, and every fibre within him was
crying out for her—for the sight of her face ; the sound of her
voice ; the clasp of her hand. Body and soul he loved her ; body
and soul he yearned for her . . . She had come back to him—
she was his again—with passionate tears she had told him that she
loved him. To fight for her, he was ready to abandon all else.
At the world's laws he jibed bitterly ; before God they were man
and wife.
The knowledge that it lay in his power to make her his for life,
to bind her to him irrevocably, brought him intoxicating relief.
Henceforward he would live on, but for that end. Existence
without her would be dreary, unbearable. He would resign his
living and leave the church. Together they would go away,
abroad : he would find some work to do in the great cities of
Australia . . . She was another man's wife—but the sin would
The Yellow Book.—Vol. III. M be
And these, since they constituted his sole diversion, he had un-
consciously come to regard as of supreme importance. The cum-
bersome, complex details of life in the outside world had assumed
the simplification of an indistinct background : in his vision of
her figure he had perceived no perspective.
But now the grain of doubt was sown : it germinated in-
sidiously ; and soon, the whole complexion of his attitude
towards her was transformed. All at once he saw a whole net-
work of unforeseen obstacles, besetting each detail of the prospect
he had been planning. Swarming uncertainty fastened on him at
every turn ; till at last, goaded to desperation, he stripped the gilding
from the accumulated fabric of his idealised future.
And then his passion for her flamed up—ardent,' unreasoning,
human. After all, he loved as other men loved—that was the
truth : the rest was mere calhsh meandering. Stubbornly he
vindicated to himself his right to love her . . . He was a man—-
a creature of flesh and blood, and every fibre within him was
crying out for her—for the sight of her face ; the sound of her
voice ; the clasp of her hand. Body and soul he loved her ; body
and soul he yearned for her . . . She had come back to him—
she was his again—with passionate tears she had told him that she
loved him. To fight for her, he was ready to abandon all else.
At the world's laws he jibed bitterly ; before God they were man
and wife.
The knowledge that it lay in his power to make her his for life,
to bind her to him irrevocably, brought him intoxicating relief.
Henceforward he would live on, but for that end. Existence
without her would be dreary, unbearable. He would resign his
living and leave the church. Together they would go away,
abroad : he would find some work to do in the great cities of
Australia . . . She was another man's wife—but the sin would
The Yellow Book.—Vol. III. M be