DOI article:
Risley, Richard Voorhees: Rideo
DOI Page / Citation link:https://doi.org/10.11588/diglit.26392#0127
By R. V. Risley 123
her with a smile. c Going to-day ? No. It was only a notion ;
I will tell you before I go.’
“ I think it was three days after this that I first noticed Jean.
It was in the afternoon, and I was sitting alone in my garden
with the gate open, a thing I often did now, for sometimes she
would pass by, and seeing me sitting there, come in for a moment.
Sitting that afternoon, suddenly I saw her on the other side of the
shady road, walking past with a young farmer ; he was the son of
a neighbour, and an honest straightforward fellow.
ccc She would not have passed by with him if she cared for him ! ’
I argued to myself, wiping the sweat from my forehead. Then
a little demon would whisper, 4 Why ? ’ and then I would wipe
the sweat from my forehead again. The next day I did not speak
to her about it, nor the next; and after a few weeks the pain grew
more distant, and things went on as before.
“ At the end of that time she told me in the middle of the lesson,
that she and Jean would marry when autumn came—then she
laughed shyly.
44 I gave her some good advice, and after a few minutes made her
return to the lesson. It was a verb we were learning, £ rideo.’
44 That night when all were asleep, I walked in my study.
Around me rose the faces of my old books that had become
stranger-like. On the desk lay scattered the sheets of paper of our
work that morning ; in the corner her big chair. All this by the
light of the great brass lamp hung overhead.
444 Good God,’ I said aloud, 4 is a priest not still a man ? Do
not the ties of human kind apply to him ? If Thou art love, or
kindness, or anything of good, why is it that the service of Thee
should make me desolate of all the best of humanity ? I am
a priest—a priest—yet more than a priest, a man ! Is there
anything but man in the world ? Is not man sufficient unto
himself?
her with a smile. c Going to-day ? No. It was only a notion ;
I will tell you before I go.’
“ I think it was three days after this that I first noticed Jean.
It was in the afternoon, and I was sitting alone in my garden
with the gate open, a thing I often did now, for sometimes she
would pass by, and seeing me sitting there, come in for a moment.
Sitting that afternoon, suddenly I saw her on the other side of the
shady road, walking past with a young farmer ; he was the son of
a neighbour, and an honest straightforward fellow.
ccc She would not have passed by with him if she cared for him ! ’
I argued to myself, wiping the sweat from my forehead. Then
a little demon would whisper, 4 Why ? ’ and then I would wipe
the sweat from my forehead again. The next day I did not speak
to her about it, nor the next; and after a few weeks the pain grew
more distant, and things went on as before.
“ At the end of that time she told me in the middle of the lesson,
that she and Jean would marry when autumn came—then she
laughed shyly.
44 I gave her some good advice, and after a few minutes made her
return to the lesson. It was a verb we were learning, £ rideo.’
44 That night when all were asleep, I walked in my study.
Around me rose the faces of my old books that had become
stranger-like. On the desk lay scattered the sheets of paper of our
work that morning ; in the corner her big chair. All this by the
light of the great brass lamp hung overhead.
444 Good God,’ I said aloud, 4 is a priest not still a man ? Do
not the ties of human kind apply to him ? If Thou art love, or
kindness, or anything of good, why is it that the service of Thee
should make me desolate of all the best of humanity ? I am
a priest—a priest—yet more than a priest, a man ! Is there
anything but man in the world ? Is not man sufficient unto
himself?