PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. 9
BROUGHAM'S HAND-BOOK FOR POLITICAL BOXING.
speech you made then ! It was delicious ! How you made every-
body cry, as if their hearts were breaking ; and I recollect it as if it
was yesterday, how the tears ran down dear father's nose, and how
The art of Political Boxing is one in the cultivation of which 11 dear mother nearly went into a fit! Dear souls! They little thought,
have spent the best and most valuable part of my life, and I wil-1 ^i^^11 y0111-^11® talk, how you'd use me ! How^ have you used me t
lingly give the world the benefit of my experience.
I am, by the by, prepared to take pupils, and specimens of my
style may be seen almost every evening in full operation in the
House of Lords. My favourite pupil Roebuck, known as the Bath
Slasher, attends nightly for the same purpose in the House of
Commons.
In hitting a blow at your adversary, be sure that you are quite
Oh, Ma. Caudle, how can you ask that question ? It's well lor you
I can't see you blush. How have you used me !
" Well, that the same tongue could make a speech like that, and
then talk as it did to-day ! How did you talk 1 Why, shamefully.
What did you say about your wedded happiness ? Why, nothing.
What did you say about your wife ? Worse than nothing : just as if
she was a bargain you were sorry for, but were obliged to make the
ready to get away. My pupil Roebuck is a perfect master of this | best of. What do you say ? And bad's the best ? If you say that
fine manoeuvre. He hits out very fiercely, and gets clear off just as t again, Caudle, I '11 rise from my bed. You didn't say it ? What,
his opponent is preparing to retaliate. then, did you say ? Something very like it, I know. Yes, a pretty
Getting the nob into Chancery is a very fine achievement. I once speech of thanks for a husband ! And everybody could see that you
got several nobs into Chancery, and I certainly gave several of them j didn't care a pin for me ; and that's why you had 'em here : that's
severe punishment. This Chancery manoeuvre has been a capitalj why you invited 'em, to insult me to their faces. What ? i" made
thing for me, as I still enjoy a pension on account of it. : you invite 'em ? Oh, Caudle, what an aggravating man you are !
Throwing is a good trick in political boxing. I have been thrown
once or twice myself ; I struggled for the fall, but down I went,
though I contrived to punish my adversary pretty well afterwards.
In my political sparring I find it capital exercise to be always at
it, and I think it a good plan to be constantly hitting out right and
left at something and somebody. It is not a bad notion to spar with
one's own servant,.which I often do for exercise.
I may furnish a few more rules hereafter, if the above should be
approved and are likely to be acted on.
MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
" I suppose you'll say next I made you invite Miss Prettyman ?
Oh yes ; don't tell me that her brother brought her without your
knowing it. What ? Didn't I hear him say so ? Of course I did ; but
do you suppose I'm quite a fool ? Do you think I don't know that
that was all settled between you ? And she must be a nice person
to come unasked to a woman's house ? But I know why she came.
Oh yes ; she came to look about her What do I mean ? Oh, the
meaning's plain enough. She came to see how she should like the
rooms—how she should like my seat at the fire-place ; how she—
and if it isn't enough to break a mother's heart to be treated so !—
how she should like my dear children.
" Now, it's no use your bouncing about at—but of course that's
it; I can't mention Miss Pbettyman, but you fling about as if you
were in a fit. Of course that shows there's something in it. Other-
wise, why should you disturb yourself? Do you think I didn't see
her looking at the cyphers on the spoons as if she already saw
mine scratched out and hers there ? No, I shan't drive you mad,
Mr. Caudle ; and if I do it's your own fault. No other man would
treat the wife of his bosom in—what do you say ? You might as
well have married a hedgehog ? Well, now it's come to something !
But it's always the case ! Whenever you've seen that Miss Pret-
tyman, I'm sure to be abused. A hedgehog ! A pretty thing for a
woman to be called by her husband ! Now you don't think I '11 lie
quietly in bed, and be called a hedgehog—do you, Mr. Caudle ?
" Well, I only hope Miss Prettyman had a good dinner, that's
all. I had none ! You know I had none—how was I to get any ?
You know that the only part of the turkey I care for is the merry-
thought. And that, of course, went to Miss Prettyman. Oh, I
saw you laugh when you put it on her plate ! And you don't sup-
pose, after such an insult as that, I'd taste another thing upon the
table ? No, I should hope I have more spirit than that. Yes ; and
you took wine with her four times. What do you say ? Only twice ?
Oh, you were so lost—fascinated, Mr. Caudle ; yes, fascinated—
that you didn't know what you did. However, I do think while I'm
alive I might be treated with respect at my own table. I say, while
I'm alive ; for I know I shan't last long, and then Miss Pretty-
man may come and take it all. I'm wasting daily, and no wonder.
I never say anything about it, but every week my gowns are taken in.
"Ah me ! It's no use wishing—none at all : but I do wish that I "I've lived to learn something, to be sure ! Miss Prettyman
yesterday fourteen years could come back again. Little did I [ turned up her nose at my custards. It isn't sufficient that you're
think, Mr. Caudle, when you brought me home from church, your ' always finding fault yourself, but you must bring women home to-
lawful wedded wife—little, I say, did I think that I should keep my [ sneer at me at my own table. What do you say 1 Slie didn't turn up
MR. CAUDLE HAS NOT ACTED " LIKE A HUSBAND
AT THE WEDDING DINNER.
wedding-dinner in the manner I have done to-day. Fourteen years
ago ! Yes, I see you now in your blue coat with bright buttons, and
your white watered-satin waistcoat, and a moss rose-bud in your
her nose ? I know she did ; not but what it's needless—Providence
has turned it up quite enough for her already. And she must give
herself airs over my custards ! Oh, I saw her mincing with the
button-hole, which you said was like me. What \ You never talked spoon as if she was chewing sand. What do you say ? She praised
such nonsense ? Ha ! Mr. Caudle, you don't know what you talked ' my plum-pudding ? Who asked her to praise it ? Like her impudence,
that day—but I do. Yes ; and you then sat at the table as if your
face, as I may say, was buttered with happiness, and—What ? No,
Mr. Caudle, don't say that; / have not wiped the butter off—not
I. If you above all men are not happy, you ought to be, gracious
knows !
" Yes, I will talk of fourteen years ago. Ha ! you sat beside me
then, and picked out all sorts of nice things for me. You'd have
given me pearls and diamonds to eat if I could have swallowed 'em.
Yes, I say, you sat beside me, and—What do you talk about ? You
eouldn't sit beside me to-day ? That's nothing at all to do with it. But
it's so like you. I can't speak but you fly off to something else.
Ha ! and when the health of the young couple was drunk, what a
I think !
" Yes, a pretty day I've passed. I shall not forget this wedding-
day, I think ! And as I say a pretty speech you made in the way of
thanks. No, Caudle, if I was to live a hundred years—you needn't
groan, Mr. Caudle, I shall not trouble you half that time--if I was
to live a hundred years, I should never forget it. Never ! You
didn't even so much as bring one of your children into your speech.
And—dear creatures !—what have they done to offend you % No ;
I shall not drive you mad. It's you, Mr. Caudle, who'll drive
me mad. Everybody says so.
"And you suppose I didn't see how it was managed, that you and
that Miss Prettyman were always partners at whist ? How icas it
Vol. 9.
1—2
BROUGHAM'S HAND-BOOK FOR POLITICAL BOXING.
speech you made then ! It was delicious ! How you made every-
body cry, as if their hearts were breaking ; and I recollect it as if it
was yesterday, how the tears ran down dear father's nose, and how
The art of Political Boxing is one in the cultivation of which 11 dear mother nearly went into a fit! Dear souls! They little thought,
have spent the best and most valuable part of my life, and I wil-1 ^i^^11 y0111-^11® talk, how you'd use me ! How^ have you used me t
lingly give the world the benefit of my experience.
I am, by the by, prepared to take pupils, and specimens of my
style may be seen almost every evening in full operation in the
House of Lords. My favourite pupil Roebuck, known as the Bath
Slasher, attends nightly for the same purpose in the House of
Commons.
In hitting a blow at your adversary, be sure that you are quite
Oh, Ma. Caudle, how can you ask that question ? It's well lor you
I can't see you blush. How have you used me !
" Well, that the same tongue could make a speech like that, and
then talk as it did to-day ! How did you talk 1 Why, shamefully.
What did you say about your wedded happiness ? Why, nothing.
What did you say about your wife ? Worse than nothing : just as if
she was a bargain you were sorry for, but were obliged to make the
ready to get away. My pupil Roebuck is a perfect master of this | best of. What do you say ? And bad's the best ? If you say that
fine manoeuvre. He hits out very fiercely, and gets clear off just as t again, Caudle, I '11 rise from my bed. You didn't say it ? What,
his opponent is preparing to retaliate. then, did you say ? Something very like it, I know. Yes, a pretty
Getting the nob into Chancery is a very fine achievement. I once speech of thanks for a husband ! And everybody could see that you
got several nobs into Chancery, and I certainly gave several of them j didn't care a pin for me ; and that's why you had 'em here : that's
severe punishment. This Chancery manoeuvre has been a capitalj why you invited 'em, to insult me to their faces. What ? i" made
thing for me, as I still enjoy a pension on account of it. : you invite 'em ? Oh, Caudle, what an aggravating man you are !
Throwing is a good trick in political boxing. I have been thrown
once or twice myself ; I struggled for the fall, but down I went,
though I contrived to punish my adversary pretty well afterwards.
In my political sparring I find it capital exercise to be always at
it, and I think it a good plan to be constantly hitting out right and
left at something and somebody. It is not a bad notion to spar with
one's own servant,.which I often do for exercise.
I may furnish a few more rules hereafter, if the above should be
approved and are likely to be acted on.
MRS. CAUDLE'S CURTAIN LECTURES.
" I suppose you'll say next I made you invite Miss Prettyman ?
Oh yes ; don't tell me that her brother brought her without your
knowing it. What ? Didn't I hear him say so ? Of course I did ; but
do you suppose I'm quite a fool ? Do you think I don't know that
that was all settled between you ? And she must be a nice person
to come unasked to a woman's house ? But I know why she came.
Oh yes ; she came to look about her What do I mean ? Oh, the
meaning's plain enough. She came to see how she should like the
rooms—how she should like my seat at the fire-place ; how she—
and if it isn't enough to break a mother's heart to be treated so !—
how she should like my dear children.
" Now, it's no use your bouncing about at—but of course that's
it; I can't mention Miss Pbettyman, but you fling about as if you
were in a fit. Of course that shows there's something in it. Other-
wise, why should you disturb yourself? Do you think I didn't see
her looking at the cyphers on the spoons as if she already saw
mine scratched out and hers there ? No, I shan't drive you mad,
Mr. Caudle ; and if I do it's your own fault. No other man would
treat the wife of his bosom in—what do you say ? You might as
well have married a hedgehog ? Well, now it's come to something !
But it's always the case ! Whenever you've seen that Miss Pret-
tyman, I'm sure to be abused. A hedgehog ! A pretty thing for a
woman to be called by her husband ! Now you don't think I '11 lie
quietly in bed, and be called a hedgehog—do you, Mr. Caudle ?
" Well, I only hope Miss Prettyman had a good dinner, that's
all. I had none ! You know I had none—how was I to get any ?
You know that the only part of the turkey I care for is the merry-
thought. And that, of course, went to Miss Prettyman. Oh, I
saw you laugh when you put it on her plate ! And you don't sup-
pose, after such an insult as that, I'd taste another thing upon the
table ? No, I should hope I have more spirit than that. Yes ; and
you took wine with her four times. What do you say ? Only twice ?
Oh, you were so lost—fascinated, Mr. Caudle ; yes, fascinated—
that you didn't know what you did. However, I do think while I'm
alive I might be treated with respect at my own table. I say, while
I'm alive ; for I know I shan't last long, and then Miss Pretty-
man may come and take it all. I'm wasting daily, and no wonder.
I never say anything about it, but every week my gowns are taken in.
"Ah me ! It's no use wishing—none at all : but I do wish that I "I've lived to learn something, to be sure ! Miss Prettyman
yesterday fourteen years could come back again. Little did I [ turned up her nose at my custards. It isn't sufficient that you're
think, Mr. Caudle, when you brought me home from church, your ' always finding fault yourself, but you must bring women home to-
lawful wedded wife—little, I say, did I think that I should keep my [ sneer at me at my own table. What do you say 1 Slie didn't turn up
MR. CAUDLE HAS NOT ACTED " LIKE A HUSBAND
AT THE WEDDING DINNER.
wedding-dinner in the manner I have done to-day. Fourteen years
ago ! Yes, I see you now in your blue coat with bright buttons, and
your white watered-satin waistcoat, and a moss rose-bud in your
her nose ? I know she did ; not but what it's needless—Providence
has turned it up quite enough for her already. And she must give
herself airs over my custards ! Oh, I saw her mincing with the
button-hole, which you said was like me. What \ You never talked spoon as if she was chewing sand. What do you say ? She praised
such nonsense ? Ha ! Mr. Caudle, you don't know what you talked ' my plum-pudding ? Who asked her to praise it ? Like her impudence,
that day—but I do. Yes ; and you then sat at the table as if your
face, as I may say, was buttered with happiness, and—What ? No,
Mr. Caudle, don't say that; / have not wiped the butter off—not
I. If you above all men are not happy, you ought to be, gracious
knows !
" Yes, I will talk of fourteen years ago. Ha ! you sat beside me
then, and picked out all sorts of nice things for me. You'd have
given me pearls and diamonds to eat if I could have swallowed 'em.
Yes, I say, you sat beside me, and—What do you talk about ? You
eouldn't sit beside me to-day ? That's nothing at all to do with it. But
it's so like you. I can't speak but you fly off to something else.
Ha ! and when the health of the young couple was drunk, what a
I think !
" Yes, a pretty day I've passed. I shall not forget this wedding-
day, I think ! And as I say a pretty speech you made in the way of
thanks. No, Caudle, if I was to live a hundred years—you needn't
groan, Mr. Caudle, I shall not trouble you half that time--if I was
to live a hundred years, I should never forget it. Never ! You
didn't even so much as bring one of your children into your speech.
And—dear creatures !—what have they done to offend you % No ;
I shall not drive you mad. It's you, Mr. Caudle, who'll drive
me mad. Everybody says so.
"And you suppose I didn't see how it was managed, that you and
that Miss Prettyman were always partners at whist ? How icas it
Vol. 9.
1—2
Werk/Gegenstand/Objekt
Titel
Titel/Objekt
Mrs. Caudles's curtain lectures
Weitere Titel/Paralleltitel
Serientitel
Punch
Sachbegriff/Objekttyp
Inschrift/Wasserzeichen
Aufbewahrung/Standort
Aufbewahrungsort/Standort (GND)
Inv. Nr./Signatur
H 634-3 Folio
Objektbeschreibung
Objektbeschreibung
Bildunterschrift: Lecture XXI. Mr. Caudle has not acted "like a husband" at the wedding dinner
Maß-/Formatangaben
Auflage/Druckzustand
Werktitel/Werkverzeichnis
Herstellung/Entstehung
Entstehungsdatum
um 1845
Entstehungsdatum (normiert)
1840 - 1850
Auftrag
Publikation
Fund/Ausgrabung
Provenienz
Restaurierung
Sammlung Eingang
Ausstellung
Bearbeitung/Umgestaltung
Thema/Bildinhalt
Thema/Bildinhalt (GND)
Literaturangabe
Rechte am Objekt
Aufnahmen/Reproduktionen
Künstler/Urheber (GND)
Reproduktionstyp
Digitales Bild
Rechtsstatus
Public Domain Mark 1.0
Creditline
Punch, 9.1845, July to December, 1845, S. 9
Beziehungen
Erschließung
Lizenz
CC0 1.0 Public Domain Dedication
Rechteinhaber
Universitätsbibliothek Heidelberg