Punch (9.1845)

128

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

TOURNAMENT BETWEEN THE PRESS AND THE BAR.

This tilting match, or tourney, has been carried on for some time
between the Press and the Bar ; but it has at length ended in the
ntter prostration of the latter. The tournament took its rise from
the feudal system, and a few dull Barristers have entered into the
tourney with a most congenial spirit.

Geoffrey of Prouilly, introduced the tournament into Western
France ; but Briefless, of Pump Court, has the merit of intro-

ducing it into the Western Circuit. The encounter was very fierce,
and the pen, used as a lance, completely triumphed over the stick,
which is the emblem of many a Barrister. The public has watched
the progress of the combat from time to time, and our cartoon wiil
therefore tell its own story.

The Bar has been completely beaten, and has retired from the-
lists in confusion.

LICKSPITTLEOFF, OF THE "MORNING POST."

The Russian editor of the Morning Post has a deep article—deep
as a thimble—on the continental movements of Her Majesty.
Yes, Lickspittleoff—for such is his real Tartar name—expa-
tiates upon the royal privileges possessed by German sovereigns,
and then weeps tears of train-oil to think that Queen Victoria
may not govern " at her own sweet wiil"—that democratic England
is not iron-bound Prussia. Lickspittleoff, however, opens with

exercised in the unlimited application of the knout—in the banisk-
ment of man, woman, and child, to Siberia—in holding, as it were,,
the heart-strings of millions in the iron hand of King or Kaiser !

We have said that the presiding political genius of the Morning
Post is a Russian. As he is—as much as the bear in the Zoological
Gardens—a public character, we shall take an early opportunity or
giving his biography—of showing how he was found in a cradle by a
sentinel near the palace gates of St. Petersburgh—how he was brought

„____j n- _ , ... ,. -, . ' up, and taught the kind of English, he knows, at the charge of the

a grand fling at constitutional sovereigns. Even Louis-Philippe, ! _r' °, . j j • iT. ■& . ,

™Li^^„!t n, i »• *u t i j i • i , • •,, ' Emperor—how he afterwards served in the Emperor s kitchen—

who laughs at the revolution that placed him where he is, will not; , , , , , .... , ,.. ,r . „

oniinAi ~v-r*~c-n-rm t tt • T j . and how, subsequently, he became political editor ot the jUortiino Post

satisfy Lickspittleoff. Here is a loud, swelling note :— - ' ? eJ\ -n r i t i t ,

J ' 6 i for the conversion of the Engush. Lucky Lickspittleoff!

" The Queen is going to Eu ! From Germany to France the distance, geographi-
cally speaking, is not great ; the voyage from Antwerp to Treport will not be long, and
scarcely be wearisome. But the change, howvast!"

Her Majesty, however, did not at once plunge into a constitu-
tional cold bath. No ; she was somewhat prepared for the shock by
the tepid warmth of Belgium : —

' To be sure, Belgium, with its spick and span netv monarchy, will be something like
a preparative, and the sudden transition from loyal sound-hearted Germany, where

A GOOD DAY'S SPORT.

We understand several of the Civic Companies have invited Prince
Albert to a day's sport in the City. They have offered to collect in the
area of the Stock Exchange all the bulls and bears that are in the habit

Kings rule, and people are happy, to the France of suppressed factions and'parvenu of prowling about the neighbourhood. As soon as these are despatched, a
royalty, will not be so abrupt as it would otherwise have been ! " number of desperate Stags, that have been brought up expressly by the-

Lickspittleoff "doubts" whether any constitutional states— I railways, will be driven from Capel Court into the interior, and His
" as they are called "—have ever benefited bv their constitutions. j RoYAL Highness will be armed with unlimited power to hunt down »
.. T , , • many as he pleases. The lame ducks of the City will be reserved for the

Indeed, as far as we [Lickspittleoff] can make out, the primary object of I i t " pcnpninl rrpnr

representative assemblies is the imposition of taxes j and certainly such was the result ! . espeLidi ubal

The large room at Lloyd's has been fitted up handsomely for tb.fr
occasion, so that His Royal Highness will bo put to no inconvenience or

And, therefore, it would be much better that English parliaments

of the great development of the representative system in England which ensued

fAnd, tiieretore it would be much better that English parliaments fatiguej in firing at his leisure from a magnificent throne erected at the
should be altogether abolished, and the fortunes of Englishmen—it | largest window Weipperts Band will be in attendance. In fact,

is so in Lickspittleoff's native Russia—be at the disposal of the
English monarch.

" It is not in England, where railway kings rule, railway parliaments legislate,
expediency Ministers tyrannise, money-moneers, share-jobbers, and exchange-brokers,
are petty princes—it is not in the England of speculation that the true Junctions of
royalty can be the most perfectly understood."

You are right, sagacious Lickspittleoff—most right! The
* true functions of royalty,"—as understood by your Tartar soul—are

nothing has been neglected to make this " Civic Battue " worthy of tbe-
noble guest for whom it has been provided.

burning africa.
The French papers, published in Africa, hint very strongly that it is-
Marshal Bugeaud's ambition to be crowned Monarch of Algiers. As he
will want a titie, we suggest he be called " The Fire-King of Algeria.'*