Punch (9.1845)

160

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

POET BUNN'S OPENING OF DRURY LANE THEATRE.

HIS Dramatic Majesty Alfred—surnamed the Poet—went in state to open
the theatrical session at Drury Lane. He looked remarkably well, consider-
ing ; and preparations on an extensive scale had been made for receiving him.
Sand had been thrown in great profusion over the passages through which the
potentate had to pass, and as he alighted from his vehicle he was received with
an enthusiastic shout from the stage-door-keeper. As His Majesty passed through
the hall, the messenger whistled " See the Conquering Hero comes," while two of
the carpenters struck up " Scenes so charming, once more I view you," as Bunn
made his way through the crowd of fiats to the centre of the stage, where he
delivered the following

SPEECH FROM THE MUSIC-STOOL.

: In calling you together for the despatch of business, I have done as I thought
proper.

" I am happy to say that I continue to receive from foreign powers the most
friendly assurances, and I have entered into treaties with the French, which will
prevent our having to rely on any of our native produce, which I have always been
accustomed to look upon as a very raw article.

'•' I feel called upon particularly to direct your attention to the state of the
forces, and I have made arrangements for adding to the standing army of super-
numeraries ; for I am convinced that my government depends on the numerical
strength which I am able to display.

" I regret to say that I have had a dispute with the German Queen of Song,
who having come to terms with me has refused to fulfil the treaty she has entered
into. I shall take immediate measures to compel obedience, and in the mean time
I rely on the loyalty of my own subjects to sustain those high characters into which
I thrust them as stopgaps, when I have no foreigner to put into them.

" Gentlemen of the Drama,—
" I have caused an estimate, namely, my own estimate of your abilities, to be
laid before you in my book on the stage, to which I beg leave to direct your special
attention.

" Numerous bills will be introduced in the course of the season, and there are
several which will be framed with the view of introducing foreign bars and staves
into this country.

" I have to congratulate my people on the increased demand for capers, which
will give perpetual employment, at fifteen shillings a week, to a numerous body
of my subjects.

" I have to call your attention to the repeal of the union between my English
Nonsense and Balfe's Irish Melodies. I think the separation will be for the good
of the public, though, personally, I greatly regret it.

" With reference to taxation, I have only to observe that I shall continue to
tax the patience of the public as heavily as heretofore.

*• I have been for some time in treaty with a market-gardener, to furnish
bovquets, to be thrown on the stage ; and I hope that I shall be able to ensure a