Punch (9.1845)

230

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

INDIAN RAILWAYS.

We should have no objection to invest our money as speculators j disagreeable terminus. We should not like to venture on any

in one of these concerns, but we should feel rather indisposed to make
a deposit of ourselves in any of the carriages on a line that must run
through a country infested with all sorts of ferocious animals. We
do not know how far a steam engine may suit the taste of a tiger, who
might take it into his head to saunter down to the station, and make
the carriages into coupons, or declare a series of dividends by tearing
the passengers to pieces—thus bringing them unexpectedly to a very

Grand Jungle Junction until the brutes along the line became accus-
tomed to the sight of a train, for we should not at all wonder if a few
guards get gobbled up, a Director or two demolished, and some
stokers swallowed when the line is first opened. We had much
rather our money should be eaten up than ourselves, for we have no
notion of having a real boa round our necks—a fate that must be
looked for by some of the first travellers on the Indian Railroads.

Jpasfitonablc Intdltcience.

he most thrilling sensation has been created in the circles
of ton, in the neighbourhood of Lambeth, by the sudden
disappearance of Miss Sophia Sarah Smith, the young
and lovely scion of the House of C iburg. The young
fcrnnc lady must have quitted Coburg House while her illus-
I trious sire was measuring a remnant of ribbon. She
\ was observed to walk very quickly towards a West End
bus, where she was received by a military-looking

PEARLS FROM THE "POST.

Yesterday, Lady Jemima Swandown's spaniel Bijou took an
airing in Hyde Park, at the right-hand carriage-window. We were
delighted to observe that the amicable creature looked remarkably

well.

It is with extreme grief we have to announce the severe indisposi-
tion of Lady Carmine's mackaw. A wretched footman—(one of the
swinish multitude)—has confessed to the substitution of soft sugar

, for lump, in the cage of the interesting bird. The miscreant—we
gentleman m blue, with his face muffled up in a cape • ■ ■ iU u j *u„ „i;„ t„ «,„ nt „n

made of oil-skin. They got down at Charing Cross; ! ™* l° t.he.hand1 f the Pol,°% fu u ? t *!

and the waterman on the stand, knowing M.sf Smith! that 18 h,?h and "fined in society, we call for the hardest and

strongest thunders of the law.

The Countess of Tittlebat's Angola cat Tiger has arrived in
Portman Square from Brighton. Our readers will be charmed to
know that the salubrious breezes of that saline retreat have had

made an observation to the crossing-sweeper, who knew the companion of
her flight, and at once pronounced him to be Sergeant Tims of the Me-
tropolitan Police Force. A cab was in waiting at Trafalgar Square, with
instructions to take the runaways an eightpenny fare iu the direction of

Wapping. their marked effect upon the Countess's favourite.

We must now return to Mr. Smith, who, on retiring to tea, missed The Hon. Miss Wiggleton's lovely and interesting marmoset
his daughter. His first impulse was to go distracted ; but his second Sprite has been suffering from the Boreal rudeness of our ever-
resolution was to go nowhere until he had finished his tea, when he gave i va^i™ climate. It is thought that a few months' residence in
vent to his feelings in a flood of hand-bills. In the mean time, the
runaways had been united in wedlock by the Registrar of the district;
and young Tims, who had got leave of absence fur two hours, returned to
his beat as if nothing had happened.

Sergeant Tims is the son of old Tims, which is some allegation to the
sufferings of the head of Coburg House, who bears it as well as can be
expected. The young gentleman is a great favourite with his Inspector,
and has distinguished himself at the taking of several pickpockets. The
runaways first met at Baron Nathan's, on the occasiou of the celebrated
Polka des CEufs being danced by that distinguished man, at the same
soiree in which he introduced the Tarantella, des Tea-things.

railway accidents.

In the prospectus of every Railway, an announcement is always made
of the Engineer, Solicitor, Banker, and Surveyor, who is appointed to the
Line ; but not a word is ever said of the appointment of a Surgeon. From
the latter being always excluded, one would imagine there was nothing on
a Railway for a Surgeon to do.

Madeira is absolutely necessary to restore the patient, in which
case, the Hon. Miss Wiggleton has exn-essed her inexorable
determination of accompanying the sufferer. Ha ! it is only in the
refined and rarefied atmosphere of high life that we meet with true
sensibility !

Merited Compliment.

Monsieur Thiers, when he was in London, went to see St. Paul's Ca-
thedral. He was stopped at the door for the customary fourpence. This
he obstinately refused, inquiring all the while " Is it not one Cathedral 1"
He was made to understand at last what the demand was for, when he
said, " Ha ! now I comprehend Dere are so very few great men iu
England, dat you make de people pay to see dem. It's very sheap I"

one and the same thing.

According to rumour, Fleet Prison is to be a Railway Terminus. We
are sure there was no necessity to have removed a brick of the old place
for that purpose.