Punch (9.1845)

PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI.

233

JEAMES'S DIARY.

ave this day kimpleated a little efair with my friend
George, Earl Bareacres, which I trust will be to the ad-
vantidge both of self & that noble gent. Adjining the
Bareacre proppaty is a small piece of land of about 100
acres, called Squallop Hill, igseeding advantageous for the
cultivation of sheep, which have been found to have a
pickewlear fine flaviour from the natur of the grass, tyme,
heather, and other hodarefarus plants which grows on that
mounting in the places where the rox and stones dont
prevent them. Thistles here is also remarkable fine, and
the land is also devided hoff by luxurient Stone Hedges—
much more usefle and ickonomicle than your quickset, or
any of that rubbishing sort of timber ; indeed the sile is
of that fine natur, that timber refuses to grow there alto-
gether. I gave Bareacres a0£ an acre for this land (the
igsact premium of my St. Helena Shares) —a very handsom
price for land which never yielded two shillings an acre ;
and very convenient to his Lordship I know, who had a bill
coming due at his Bankers which he had given them
Jeames de la Pluche, Esquire, is thus for the fust time a
landed propriator—or rayther, I should say, is about to reshume the rank & dignity
in the country which his Hancestors so long occupied."

" I have caused one of our inginears to make me a plann of the Squallop Estate,
Diddlesexshire, the property of &c, &c, bordered on the North by Lord Bareacres'
Country ; on the West by Sir Granby Growler ; on the South by the Hotion. An
Arkytect & Survare, a young feller of great emagination, womb we have employed
to make a survey of the Great Caffrarian line, has built me a beautiful Villar (on
paper), Plushton Hall, Diddlesex, the seat of I de la P., Esquire. The house is repra-
sentect a handsome Itallian Structer, imbusnid in woods, and circumwented by beautiful
gardings. Theres a lake in front with boatsfull of nobillaty and musitions noting on its
placid sufface—and a curricle is a driving up to the grand hentrance, and me in it,
with Mrs., or perhaps Lady Hangelana de la Pluche. 1 speak adwisedly. / may be
going to form a noble kinexion. i may be (by marridge) going to unight my lamly

" I've sean sevral times in a dalitifle vishn a serting Erl,
standing in a hattitude of beuny diction, and rattafyiug my
union with a serting butifle young lady, his daughter. Phansy
Mr. or Sir Jeames and Lady Hahgelina de la Pluche ! Ho !
what will the old washywoman. my grandmother, say ? She
may sell her mangle then, and shall too by my honour as a
Gent"

" As for Squallop Hill, its not to be emadgind that I was
going to give 5000 lb. for a bleak mounting like that, unless
I had some ideer in vew. Ham I not a Director of the
Grand Diddlesex \ Dont Squallop lie amediately betwigst
Old Bone House, Single Gloster, and Scrag End. through
which cities our line passes ? I will have 40,000 lb. for
that mounting, or my name is not Jeames. I have araoged
a little barging too for my friend the Erl. The line will pass
through a bangle of Bareacre Park. He shall have a good
compensation I promis you ; and then I shall get back the
3000 1 lent him. His banker's acount, I fear, is in a
horrid state."

[The Diary now for several days contains particulars of
no interest to the public:—Memoranda of City
dinners— meetings of Directors —fashionable parties
in which Mr. Jeames figures, and almost always
by the side of his new friend, Lord Bareacres,
whose " pompossaty," as described in the last
Number, seems to have almost entirely subsided.]

We then come to the following : —

" With a prowd and thankfle Art, I coppy off this morning's
Gyzett the folloiDg news :—

" ' Commission signed by the Lord Lieutenant of the

County of Diddlesex.
" ' James Augustus de la Pluche, Esquire, to be Deputy

Lieutenant.' "

" ' North Diddlesex Regiment of Yeomanry Cavalry.

"'Jamf.s Augustus de la Pluche, Esquire, to be
Captain, vice Blowhard, promoted.' "

once mor with. Harrystoxy, from which misfortn has for some sentries separated us.
T have dreams of that sort

"And his it so? Ham I indeed a landed propriator—a
Deppaty Leftnant—a Capting ? May I hatend the Cort of
my Sovring ? and dror a sayber in my country's defens ? I
wish the Fench wood land, and me at the head of my squad-
ring on my hose Desparation. How Id extonish 'em ! How
the gals will stare when they see me in younifom ! How
Mary Hann would—but nonsince ! I'm halways thinking of
that pore gal. She's left Sir John's. She couldn't abear to
stay after I went, I 've heerd say. I hope she's got a good
place. Any summ of money that would sett her up in bisniss,
or make her comfarable, 1 'd come down with like a maun. I
told my granmother so, who sees her, and rode down to
Healing on porpose on Desparation to leave a five lb noat
in anvylope. But she's sent it back, sealed with a thimbill."

" Tuesday. Reseavd the folloing letter from Lord B-,

r^llatif to my prpsntation at Cort and the Youniform I shall
wear on that hospicious seramony :—

" ' My dear de la Pluche,

"' I think you had better be presented as a Deputy
Lieutenant. As for the Diddlesex Yeomanry, I hardly know
what the uniform is now. The last time we were out, was
in 1803, when the Prince of Wales reviewed us, and when
we wore French grey jackets, leathers, red morocco boots,
crimson pelisses, brass helmets with leopard-skin and a white
plume, and the regulation pig-tail of eighteen inches. That
dress will hardly answer at present, and must be modified, of
course. We were called the White Feathers, in those days.
For my part, I decidedly recommend the Deputy Lieutenant.

" 1 I shall be happy to present you at the Levee and at the
Drawins-room. Lady Bareacres will be in town for the
13th, with Angelina, who will be presented on that day. My
wife has heard much of you, and is anxious to make your
acquaintance.

"'All my people are backward with their rents: for
Heaven's sake, my dear fellow, lend me five hundred and
oblige

" 1 Yours, very gratefully,

' " ' Bareacres.

" Note. Bareacres may press me about the Depity Left-
nant—but I'm for the cavvlery."